@GalacticTurtle @Gnomeshatecheese For me, there’s emotional intimacy, which one can have with a friend, and sexual intimacy, which is (again for me) only with a partner, and what distinguishes friendship from romantic partnerships.
I know there’s a whole elaborate taxonomy of shades of “asexuality” (which somewhat counterintuitively, for me at any rate, seems to involve a whole load of “spicy straights” who are having lots of sex, very enthusiastically, but for reasons which somewhat escape me, conceptualising this sex as a form of “asexuality” - oxymoron or what). According to this somewhat baffling world-view there are people who yearn for romantic attachments without sex and sex without romantic attachments (which as far as I am concerned is not asexuality but simply every frat boy ever…)
For me it’s a lot more simple. I fancy some blokes. Generally I don’t want to actually go through with having sex with them unless I am also drawn to them romantically and like them as friends, because long experience has taught me that the endorphin rush of orgasm will result in me becoming emotionally attached regardless of whether they are a complete shit or not, so I tend to be very cautious until I have established that - as far as one ever can tell upfront - they are decent blokes and I will still be able to have reasonable interesting conversations in a few months time.
But beyond that it really is as simple as “I like this person. Do I want to have sex with them? Yes: potential romantic/sexual partner. No: friend.”