Notices by Jonathan T (jonnyt@mastodon.me.uk)

@inthehands What do you call an electric fire? A Tesla.
How does a Tesla owner get out of their car? As a piece of charcoal.
What do you call the steering wheel in a Tesla? Detached.
Tesla have featured more deaths than Total Recall. Which is what happens on a monthly basis when you buy one.
What do you call full self drive in a Tesla? A lie.
Why buy a coffin when you can buy a Tesla instead.
Why aren't Cybertrucks sold in Europe? Because they're shit.

@dgar @Darkedge Which is an excuse to resurrect Rick Polito's on point TV guide description in 1998.

@evan Unfortunately I did answer, so you may want to withdraw the award.

@evan The intelligent and knowledgeable response to this poll is to not even attempt to answer it.

@jalefkowit @asthargf Just replace cappuccinos with avocados and it'll be the same article today. In the 2000s it was lattes.

@catsalad @jalefkowit I think you just had 'very good friends' before 1995.

@cstross Can't say I know. Bought some for the first time recently and my reaction was similar to yours - I thought they forewarn you and that the battery life was about a year's worth anyway.

@cstross Supposed origin story/rationale in this article: https://9to5mac.com/2024/12/18/airtags-worst-feature-gets-fixed-forever-by-this-new-add-on-accessory/

@chartier Competition from cheap - and even more dangerous - knockoffs sold on Amazon would be my guess.

@skinnylatte Just wait until you reach Osedax mucofloris, the bone-eating snot flower worm (they feed on whale bones).

@evan I'm afraid that article emphasises my point. I mean I do like a clitoris, but not everyone else does.

(PS. Aware that your polls are to be answered how *I* interpret them. Not going to come across well in writing but my original reply was tongue in cheek.)

@evan Qualified yes because I'm not convinced the definition of 'beans' is universal across cultures. If your beans are the same as my beans then it's a strong yes.

@BlackAzizAnansi Counterpoint: my dad removed all digital means of paying for anything from his computer and phone, and now has to go to the bank to pay for anything, or get physical money out, because he knew he could no longer trust himself not to get scammed. I didn't even need to tell him. And I'm stupidly proud of him for it, although it's tragic that he found it necessary to even think that way.

@mekkaokereke Even if they aren't innocent, willingly killing people irrespective of what they've done is still abhorrent. The death penalty is an abomination no matter who it is used against.

@StillIRise1963 It's one of those things that makes white supremacy and its adherents ridiculous whiners: the blood of the 'superior race' is always the one that gets 'diluted'... if you're as goddamned superior as you say you are, surely it should be the other way around.

Ultimately white supremacy is based on a premise that the white race is fundamentally weak and pathetic: it is never the whites who spread 'purity' to others, it is always the other that 'contaminates' them.

@StillIRise1963 It's the same with their whinging about culture: tell me Mr White Supremacist, how is it that your white, Christian culture is so incredibly trivial to replace by Islam and Judaism when it is so fucking superior and dominant?

Again, they're outright telling you that despite their rhetoric and bluster, they really think it is they who are the weak, puny, snivelling nothings of the world.

@agiletortoise @designatednerd If you needed clear evidence that not enough senior people at Apple 'eat their own dog food', it's that Tim Cook isn't reminded of Steve Job's birthday every year... and that Contacts is one of the most terrible applications that has seen virtually no improvements in its entire existence on any Apple platform.

@jwildeboer I wouldn't (and am not) watch the pointless Prime Minister debates here in the UK. There's no way I'd watch the US equivalent.

They aren't broadcast for public service television purposes, they're broadcast for 'entertainment' purposes. And they are not entertaining.

@BethanyBlack OK. I have to ask the obvious question: is the surname pronounced the way it seems it should be or is it a bucket/bouquet scenario?

@GossiTheDog What they lacked the most was money. Everything else stems from that detail.