My wife always says I’m the luckiest person she’s ever met (re jobs, opportunity, experiences, random things), and she’s right, but the luckiest I’ve ever been was when she agreed to marry me
The one at TJ’s is actually one of the better East Asian things they stock, it was definitely white labeled from a famous Korean manufacturer, but I just prefer supporting little old ladies making gimbap.
My perfect Monterey breakfast is (at my home): a gimbap I got from the Korean store (made by an auntie at the back of the shop, not Trader Joe’s), soy sauce, wasabi, coffee.
When something floats by in the world outside my brain, for example when someone said orange and everyone at a meeting had a visual of something political, I did not. I was thankful for it. I had the concept of an orange, or the smell of it, but no visuals.
I don’t have visual dreams. I have dreams relating to smell, sound, space (like the feeling of being in a crowded, smoky bar. That’s all vivid to me. But I don’t ‘see’ anything)
That doesn’t mean my brain isn’t an overwhelming place. It’s just overwhelming in other ways.
I’ve been thinking about how having #aphantasia (inability to form images in my mind) has a relationship with how I process grief.
For example, my beloved dog Cookie passed away in June last year. I grieved her of course, but I legitimately don’t think about her actively unless I look at a photo of her. She’s just not in my brain. Nothing really is.
It’s an interesting way to perceive the world, differently from most of you.
What is in my brain: ideas, words, concepts. I describe the way I think as ‘a wall of text that is floating by, I have to grasp at it to translate some chunk to the world’.
It’s been a beautiful spring here in Monterey. The tourists are starting to arrive. It’s getting warmer. I don’t need to bundle up anymore. I’m starting to want to ride my bike more.. (not frosty, but I am very demotivated to ride my bike in the dark)
I am having a good couple of days with the sun. Feels like my friend is back and I understand the world again.