Notices by Carrie Shanafelt (carrideen@c18.masto.host)

Twenty years ago, I was hung over in a bathrobe all day wondering what the hell kind of stupid, cruel country I live in. It radicalized me, and in the wake and ongoing progress of that nightmare, I found people online and IRL who became my best friends and allies. (One of them was at my apartment last night.) I don't have any wisdom other than to say we will find each other and work for justice. It's not the "bright side" to this; it's the only side there ever is.

I am especially grateful for the Fediverse today--for a means of finding and communicating with others without corporations profiting from misinformation and rage.

I caught Dolores trying on my sandals. #CatsOfMastodon

Life is funny sometimes. #nfl #patriots #texans

The Pats enter to O Fortuna from Orff's Carmina Burana and I'm going to say, that is the most accurate use of O Fortuna in pop culture.

Yes, Fortune is a fickle bitch, isn't she?

We are sitting next to a clutch of Texans fans who are very cool and not intimidated.

The Pats fans in front of us have preemptively apologized for being large and drunk and enthusiastic and like man I'm at an NFL game.

Do your cats ever have bad dreams? One of our cats is prone to nightmares--wakes up hissing and spitting and then needs cuddles. I wonder what cat dreams are like, and what happens when she has bad ones.

@FlashMobOfOne I nearly get run over whenever I walk to work because the college is a few blocks from where a highway dumps onto Manhattan streets, and I have just resigned myself to the fact that my very religious colleagues and students are going to hear me scream "It's a fuckin stoplight, asshole!!!" every few days. I do it for all of us.

@FlashMobOfOne Most of violence I've faced has been from straight people, to be clear! I'm not a bi person who has been marginalized by queer people in real life, though I hear other people say that happens to them, and there's always shit talk on the internet.

It's Bisexual Visibility Day! Time for the annual reminder that bi people have only recently begun to be studied as a distinct population, and these studies consistently show that we are, along with trans people (many of whom are also bi), the most likely to experience intimate partner violence, in addition to extremely poor mental health and isolation, despite our great numbers. Every year I say it: queer community saves lives, and bisexuals need it too. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10486155/

Being out is not "taking up space."
Being bi is not "being greedy."
Bisexuality is not a phase or a fad.
Bi people can be poly, mono, or ace.
If you are bi, you are bi all the time.
All your relationships, all your solitude, all your thoughts are bi all the time.
If you are with a non-bi partner, you are at a higher risk for physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. Seek out bi community and check in with each other. Make time for bi people. Check in on bi people. Your love is never wasted.

I first read the outcomes of these studies just 5 years ago, after 40 years of being told that the consistent, frightening violence I've experienced--and frankly, just gotten used to--in dating relationships must be my fault. None of my friends understood how it was possible that I had come to just expect physical violence from a first date. None of my partnerships lasted long, and I regularly endured IPV from age 19 on. I stopped protecting myself because I didn't feel I deserved protection.

You'll see a lot of posts goofing on Bi Visibility Day today because many non-bi people think of us as privileged, cheaters, liars, egotists, wannabes, tourists, etc. That kind of stereotyping gets us killed every day, and drives many of us into silence and acquiescence--and far higher rates of substance abuse, self-harm, and destructive behavior. I've been there too. Knowing I'm not alone, and giving my life and love to queer people, has saved me over and over.

@FlashMobOfOne He looks gooooooood

@skinnylatte I felt a little scandalized when all my favorite YouTube cooks did nearly identical videos about how to make biang biang noodles, and then they toss off a quick mention that they learned it from ordering the biang biang noodle kit from Xi'an Famous Foods. Like, OK, but why are you replicating and profiting from the instructions that come with Xi'an's "how to make biang biang noodles" kit?

@inthehands Yeah, I don't think there was even one good-faith invitation to speak. It was impressive how well Harris maintains the face of someone who is being asked interesting thoughtful questions, even when they are not. Walz has a harder time hiding his emotions but he kept his cool.

@FlashMobOfOne I got recruited from Biochemistry into English by a professor who at first put me in her doctoral courses as an undergrad, which flattered me, but later I realized she was just using me to humiliate her grad students. When I did an MA there, she dramatically rejected my thesis to punish me for not making her the lead professor, and the rest of the department shamed her into changing her mind. Power games, mind games, sexual humiliation. I never want students to feel any of that.

@FlashMobOfOne I had a lot of ethical, good teachers in high school, and then, in college, professors all seemed only to be interested in themselves. I didn't have many who cared much about what happened to me. Several professors at my school dated students, so you either had to deal with sexual harassment or being ignored if their attention was on someone else. That was an awful feeling. I've taught college for 23 years and everything I do is about students getting education and opportunities.