@dalias @MichaelPorter @CStamp @shinealittlelove
One thing that is tripping people up is the difference between apologizing for harm vs apologizing for having a disability.
There is an incredible resistance from some people for apologizing for saying such a hurtful word.
On BlueSky someone asked if I would expect a blind person to apologize if they touched me by accident. I pointed out that *touch* is not very harmful. A better analogy is if a blind person stabbed me by accident.
I have cooked dinner with a blind person, who through both of our carelessness, almost cut me with a knife. The blind person apologized. Not for being blind. But because of what they thought was harm.
If they had said, "I'm blind. I shouldn't have to apologize for being blind." that would have been weird.
The resistance to apologizing is strange.
I pointed out that in the trailer for I swear, The main character has a shoving tick where he knocks a beer out of someone's hand. He immediately apologizes. And he doesn't apologize to the whole room. He apologizes directly to the person whose beer fell down.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oeWqQN3snCU&t=78s
So I don't think the concept of "Apologize to the person who received harm, even though the harm was unintentional" is not the sticking point.
I think the sticking point is on people who don't believe that the BAFTAs, BBC, or the man who yelled the slur, should have to apologize at all. Because they don't see the harm as being on the level of shoving someone, or slicing someone with a knife.