Me: Do you know of any authors who write dinosaur novels.
Librarian: Try Sarah Topps.
Me: Do you know of any authors who write dinosaur novels.
Librarian: Try Sarah Topps.
4K 27” iMac Pro with M4 Ultra.
That’s the definition of wishful thinking…
@clintvs *should*
They’ve been advertising this position for months… everyone wants to work in the big city.
@farah It’s very pretty, and The Great Barrier Reef is right there!
The place I’m working for is looking to hire an IT infrastructure technician.
If this sounds like you, and you’re interested in a lifestyle change from the big city, drop me a DM for the deets.
I ordered two large fries.
They gave me a heap of small ones!
I was asked to put relish on the shopping list.
Now I can’t read it.
Doctor: Do you smoke or drink alcohol?
Me: I drink it.
My friend just brought a load of graph paper.
I think they’re plotting something.
Just a little reminder:
April is National Procrastination Awareness Month.
#Dgar thanks their followers.
Thank you for being such a welcoming and accepting community.
Thank you for your support, in all the ways you give it.
Thank you for boosting awful jokes to those who need a smile.
Thank you for listening to, and sharing my songs.
Thank you for following along on this journey I’m on.
You all humble me, and I just wanted to say thanks.
🫶
Thanks to everyone who explained “plethora” to me.
It means a lot.
Surgeon: Relax David, this is a small surgery. No need to panic.
Patient: My name is not David.
Surgeon: No, my name is David.
What do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
Edward.
What do you call a man with three pieces of wood on his head?
Edward Woodward.
What do you call a man with four pieces of wood on his head?
I don’t know either, but Edward Woodward would.
One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road and walked into a bar.
That's when I realised my whole life was a joke
Thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band in Switzerland.
Then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva.
Why do billionaires want to go to space so badly?
Because guillotines require gravity to operate.
I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99 percent of you won’t get it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger still runs Windows Vista.
People have tried to get him to upgrade, but he keeps saying:
“I still love Vista baby!”
Real Name: Jon O’HareStage Name: Dgar - pronounced “Jar”#𝙵𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 liberally#𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚝 often#𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 the FediverseThank you for dropping by, I’m so glad you could make it.May be seen posting: stolen jokes, weird thoughts, original music.I’ll usually try to make you laugh.I may also send you in another direction.This account is not one dimensional.A favourite/like just means "Marked as read"https://justmytoots.com/@dgar@aus.social#Dgar #DgarMusic #DgarRadio #ToraTabby
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