Mr. Funk E. Dude
What's the bravest thing you've ever had to do that didn't involve violence?
I'll go first...
11 years ago when I knew I had to separate from my wife even though I had no money, no where to live, and knowing that if I didn't, I was probably going to kill myself.
Luckily a friend took me in.
𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒓
@Mrfunkedude
I was going to say my vasectomy but this seems serious.
Probably having to handle three parents passing before I was 40, my father when I was 12 then both mom and stepdad in my 30s. I became a farm owner before I was a teenager.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@That_One_Guy losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to get thru. I'm sure it took a lot of courage to push forward.
𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒓
@Mrfunkedude
I'm honestly not sure how I made it through. With my dad I instantly had all farming responsibilities with very little time for anything but that and school. By the time my mom and stepdad passed I had my wife and daughters support, which I guess got me through.
In hindsight I probably didn't handle my dad's passing well but I did keep that damn farm running for another 5 years winding it down.
RolloTreadway
@Mrfunkedude I had to escape from the person who had abused me for many years. I also had no money and nowhere to live, and I didn't have a damn clue what to do. I just managed to find a way to get out.
It'll be the 13th anniversary of that in a week or so. Things aren't great but I'm here.
Glad you got through that time.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@RolloTreadway I'm glad you did too.
Hill_Hobbit
@Mrfunkedude different things seem hard in different ways. I've lost a child due to premature delivery, had a close friend blow his brains out in the woods, stayed married through intense bouts of depression (my spouses and mine), counseled my teenaged daughter when I knew she was suicidal, and had to relearn how to be a human being in my mid-fifties. Each was the hardest in a different way and each taught me a different invaluable lesson about who I am. I wouldn't do it again, but I wouldn't change it either.
Stefanie Jane ?
@Mrfunkedude Getting my 2 year old thru leukemia treatment (successfully!) under very complicated conditions
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@bliss I can only slightly understand how you must have felt. My daughter caught the rota virus at 3 and had to be hospitalized for a few days. To say that I was scared is an understatement. I can't imagine how you must have felt dealing with leukemia. I'm glad he's doing better.
RamenCatholic 🐢 🌈
@Mrfunkedude I'm proud of you - that shit is hard to do.
I forced myself to do something similar ~20 years ago, shortly after I had to lock myself in the closet with all his guns.
Later, when my abuser was feeling "sorry," I asked to help a friend move (which required him to leave the state for 3 days) to "do me a favor."
I packed as much of my shit as I could in bags and couch surfed for a few months while saving up for a place.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@RamenCatholic I know that wasn't easy. I'm glad that you made it out ok.
Johnson ?️??
@Mrfunkedude
Telling my parents that I was gay.
I had to work up my nerve for that _twice_ - the first time, right when I was about to tell them, my dad made a crack about "as long as he's not sleeping with guys" or something and that pushed it back another two years.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@darkfoxprime oof. I'm sure that wasn't easy. I hope that things eventually smoothed out.
Johnson ?️??
@Mrfunkedude Oh yeah, they're perfectly fine with it now. I just need to be careful about what movies I watch with my mom, so she doesn't start comparing notes with me about the guys on screen.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
Jordi (Chaotic Aspect)
@Mrfunkedude I voluntarily entered a recovery center for my alcoholism in 2014, in lieu of suicide. I hit rock bottom during the Christmas holidays in '13 and finally made a choice. The right one.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@jorsh Good for you! I'm sure that was a scary time. Congratulations for making the right choice.
CB Uí Foghlú
@Mrfunkedude i was married by 18. Groomed since 15 years old by a guy 12 years older. Divorce had recently been voted to be legal here in ireland but was still going through stages to make it into law in very strict Catholic Ireland. I got up the courage to leave, jumped on a train to Dublin & stayed with a friend. I'd 40 Irish pounds to my name which the ticket took. Didn't even have enough to get a taxi to their place. Had to walk most of the way there which was 45 mins by taxi
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@Cbfoley I'm glad that you made it out! That must have taken a lot of courage. I'm glad that things got better for you.
CB Uí Foghlú
@Mrfunkedude Thanks. My neighbours from back then still won't speak to me. I was such a sinner splitting from my then-husband. He wasn't a sinner at all for grooming a teenager ?♀️
SnowWrite ❄
@Mrfunkedude I saved a baby & their mom - San Jose, CA circa 1990s sometime.. I was raising my kids and taking care of other families kids - one of my best friends lived up the street from me - Epileptic - she had her phone set to call her husband when she had seizures. She was about to seize (grand mal) a and accidentally called me - no sound on the other end - I have never run so fast in my life. I got into her house just in time to catch her newborn before she fell to the ground and seized.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@snowwrite she's lucky you got there in time.
SnowWrite ❄
@Mrfunkedude fortunately she had her other two daughters trained. We put the baby in the carrier and they took her upstairs and I made sure she was on her side and wasn't near anything that could hurt her while she seized and waited for her hubby who was speeding home.. she turned out ok but that moment when she fell and I grabbed the baby just in time has been with me since.
LunarLioness814
@Mrfunkedude I was getting suicidal & homicidal after having had to move back in with my parents when my life went to shit. I knew that it was over if I stayed in NC. So I moved to KY, without knowing a soul here, and started my life over. It wasn't the greatest, but it was mine & I was fine...until my parents retired & moved here because I wouldn't "come home."
SnowWrite ❄
@Mrfunkedude your prompt made me remember :) Yeah and her kids were so well trained but no way they would have had the strength to position her so she wouldn't hurt herself or the baby. It was just one of those.. OH GOD NO instinctual things.. we were about 8 houses apart.. and I'm telling you I've never ever run so fast!
Raven
@Mrfunkedude
"Bravest thing I've ever had to do?"
45+ years ago, in a completely new city, with no friends or family, I left my abusive first husband with a toddler in my arms, 7 months pregnant, and literally no access to finances. I literally had the clothes on my back and nowhere to go. Fortunately, I got into a cab with a driver who asked why I requested to go to the least expensive motel, he then drove me to a women's shelter.
It was both the best and most frightening decision of my life.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@Ravencanada i’m glad that you found safety and moved on with your life. It was indeed a very brave thing to do.
Nathan Lowell (he/him)
When I graduated from high school at 17, I enlisted in the Coast Guard to avoid being drafted and sent to Viet Nam.
I couldn't know what my draft lottery number would be until after I got out of boot camp - and I really didn't want to go to boot camp.
I figured I could survive boot camp. The odds in SE Asia were a lot worse.
I was right. My number would have been 12.
Overall, I think I've been lucky.
Raven
It's easier to be "brave" when you realize you do not want your children to grow up thinking an abusive partner is acceptable and when you don't want them exposed to a potentially violent parent.
Steve Lemson
@Ravencanada @Mrfunkedude @utbluegirl You are amazingly brave.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@Danetteb what a shitty family. LDS?
Danette 🐬
@Mrfunkedude I guess same- asking for a divorce with 4 kids, my job didn’t pay well but bigger than that I knew that I would lose my friends and possibly family because I was also leaving the church. When my family realized I was serious, they quit speaking to me for a long time and went to my ex if they wanted to see my kids. I still don’t have many friends as it’s difficult to meet new people but the ones I have are solid.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@Danetteb oh! That was going to be my second guess.
Danette 🐬
@Mrfunkedude no Mennonite
Vincarsi
@Mrfunkedude holding my family together when my partner relapsed after having essential medical treatment denied because he dared (on my urging) to be honest with the Dr about his past....
I will never get over how disgusting our society's treatment of self-medication is. I had front row seats to see up close how most of the societal problems we blame on addiction would be entirely avoidable if it weren't for the moralistic stigma most people attach to it.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@Vincarsi I hope that your partner is doing better now?
Vincarsi
@Mrfunkedude (I was successful l, btw. Hubby still has health issues that leave him disabled, but now we have a new Dr and stability. Married 11yrs)
Just Staci
@Mrfunkedude quit my job of 10 years. Always had mental health issues, had a history of job-hopping due to it, it was TERRIFYING to move into a new job.
Stacy
@Mrfunkedude / I was 14. We were vacationing in Venice, FL. There was a tropical storm in the Gulf, and it was kicking up the waves. I was a good swimmer and was out enjoying the waves. My father joined me , and I remembered wondering why, as he was an awful swimmer. A minute later, the undertow began to pull him under. I spent what seemed like an eternity keeping us both afloat as the undertow continued to pull us under. A guy finally noticed us and helped me. Not sure how I kept us afloat.
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@dancinyogi wow that does sound scary! I’m glad that you are both OK.
Jank Hambrams
@Mrfunkedude Quitting a poorly-paid job at a place with people who intended to help me but didn't realize that the way they were was actually harmful.
After that experience I took it upon myself to get more deeply involved in my own healthcare and develop the skills I need to both advocate for myself better and develop a much healthier baseline.
And here you see me now. Six+ years of hard work and I'm doing the thing!
Mr. Funk E. Dude
@jankhambrams You're doing the thing!!! ?
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