Notices by M.S. Bellows, Jr. (msbellows@c.im), page 5

(P.S.: I also hope the grandchild gets better immediately after the conference where the justices cast their votes, and then is given delicious ice cream.)

I hope John Roberts' pleasure today in his former law clerk William Baude's hagiographic drivel in today's NY Times is undercut by the memory that even back then Baude was a smarmy, asskissing toady that no one liked, not even Roberts. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/24/opinion/shadow-docket-supreme-court-john-roberts.html

Today I hope Ketanji Brown Jackson sees John Roberts' coffee mug sitting briefly unattended and spits in it too, just like all those other people did yesterday and even more people will do tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts

I hope John Roberts overhears some law clerks and the Democratic justices making an insiderey May the Fourth reference today and he doesn't understand and feels left out and so he asks Ketanji Brown Jackson to explain and she looks at him like he's a little slow but says helpfully and slowly, "May the 4th be with you?" but Roberts still doesn't get it and wonders if it's a Black thing. #IHopeJohnRoberts

I hope John Roberts' wife slept in the guest bedroom last night and didn't even say why. #IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope when John Roberts wakes up his wife isn't in bed with him and her car is gone and he realizes they haven't made love for months and it suddenly hits him that, with her being gone a lot lately, and the way she keeps biting back criticisms of him, and her attendance at #NoKings protests, and especially her face last week when she learned about his ruling destroying the Civil Rights Act – with all that, it hits him that their tradition of making tender love on Saturday mornings may be gone forever and he may never get to softly stroke her smooth, strong, beautiful, familiar body ever, ever again. #IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope John Roberts woke up in a drunk tank because last night he went to a bar instead of the other places I mentioned, and got completely hammered hoping to forget his embarrassment and cowardice yesterday, and got picked up by the police with a BAC of 0.18, and his wife had to come get him and didn't say a word as she drove him home to shower and change clothes, and then he Ubered to work because she said driving him would just be enabling, and when he finally got to work he walked silently past his disapproving colleagues and disappointed clerks, and now he's in his chamber alone, really hung over and miserable and he wants to disappear and also don't forget two of his clerks quit yesterday so suddenly he's behind on his work as well. #IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope that when John Roberts gets to work everyone is agitated about the AI-hallucinated citations in the document he posted yesterday (see above) but no one has realized he's the one who did it because no one would ever think a CJ could be that foolish, so everyone is trying to figure out which clerk was stupid enough to (a) use Grok to write an opinion and (b) not even cite-check it before posting it online, and Alito is especially furious and has corned a Roberts clerk he's always suspected to have secret liberal tendencies and is dressing him down to the point that the clerk (who's not a bad guy for a Yalie) has tears streaming down his face, and Roberts normally would have come to his clerk's defense but he's so mortified by his own error and so terrified of being discovered that instead of doing the right thing he locks himself in his private washroom and bursts into tears himself, and by the end of the day that clerk and one other one have resigned (which is absolutely unheard of), and then at around 4pm a tech figures out which computer posted the flawed document and yes it's his and so everyone in the building goes home knowing that not only is the Chief Justice a befuddled fuckup who trusted Grok but also that he lacks the character to even admit when he's wrong, and just as he's leaving a secretary tells him seventeen reporters have left messages asking to speak with him and he just ignores her, gets in his car, and drives away, unsure whether he's going home or to a nearby bridge.
#IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope that for a change John Roberts is personally writing a short opinion deciding a motion because the case is intellectually interesting to him and also two of his clerks are taking personal days, but he realizes legal research has evolved to be computerized instead of using the printed AmJur and Shepherd's books he used to use and he's not so good on the computer but someone has told him Grok is easy to use so he tries it and it's fascinating and he spends the day diving down that rabbit hole until he and Grok have drafted a really well-researched document that says exactly what he wanted it to say and rather than wait for his clerks to return and cite-check it he thinks to himself, "dammit, I'm still a damn fine lawyer and researcher in my own right!" and just posts it himself on the Court's public server, completely unaware that six of the thirteen cases Grok found for him are completely fictitious and three of the others stand for the opposite of what Grok said they did, and he goes to bed tonight blissfully ignorant of how embarrassed he's going to be when he gets to work tomorrow. #IHopeJohnRoberts #AI

Today I hope John Roberts hits a speed bump while driving to work and sloshes coffee down the front of his white shirt, which unbeknownst to him actually is sort of a good thing because it means he will drink less of the loogie his barista spat into his cup. #IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope John Roberts doesn't get to say "Happy Mother's Day" to his wife because last night both of their adult children called to announce that in light of his decisions making the president immune from responsibility for crimes and then gutting the Civil Rights Act, not to mention his very public drunk driving arrest (see above), they are so ashamed they can't bear to even be in the same house as him, so last night she spent the night with one of them and then this morning they're all having a fancy brunch then going antiquing without him. #IHopeJohnRoberts

Today I hope John Roberts woke up still feeling really bad about the events of the last couple days, but with a glimmer of hope in the fact that it's Saturday and he has a couple days out of the public eye to sort things out, and then he opens the paper (which he still has delivered on paper) and on the front page is a story about his drunk driving arrest, illustrated by that photograph of him taken back on February 4 when he accidentally drank a roofied Tequila Sunrise. #IHopeJohnRoberts

[OOC] OKAY I NEED TO START SCRIBING #IHopeJohnRoberts ON THIN SHEETS OF LEAD! https://www.history.com/articles/what-were-ancient-roman-curse-tablets

^ @evacide

@gtconway3 Anyone who donates to George Conway needs to rethink. He's running in the Democratic primary. You'll either have an anti-Trump-but-nonetheless-lifelong Republican as the Democratic nominee in November, or an actual Democrat. Support the Democrat!

@MaryAustinBooks @thevhswizard @skinnylatte I came here to say this. Problem? What problem?

@eestileib @skinnylatte TBF, strip clubs tend to have fantastic, affordable steak sandwiches. I knew some folks that used to go to one near work at lunch just for the steak sandwich, and joined them once or twice. I don't know why that's a thing, but it is.

@steter @ai6yr @david Do tell.

@bud_t @ai6yr @steter @david Wait til those kids learn about the Buena Vista Cafe in San Francisco.

@steter @ai6yr @david And every single one of them grew up to be an assferret.

@ai6yr @steter @david It's okay: you don't need to censor the word "assferrets" because they're actually a lab-created cross between a donkey and a close relative of the weasel.