Notices by M.S. Bellows, Jr. (msbellows@c.im)

Why is this man rich, but not me?

"Before joining the social service world, Ketch ran Rim Semiconductor, a company that aimed to speed data along copper wires with specialized computer chips before faster technologies arrived. Rim raised millions from investors and closed in 2008 without selling any products. Its only revenue came from producing Step Into Liquid, a surfing documentary that showed people riding waves in the Great Lakes, among other oddities."

Lender Forecloses on Troubled Family Shelter in Gresham https://www.wweek.com/news/2026/03/19/lender-forecloses-on-troubled-family-shelter-in-gresham/

@Fragglemuppet Yes! You've made me remember that my mom foolishly waited until I was in the bath before asking me how my first swim lesson had gone that day, so I (innocently, I swear) showed her what I'd learned and got her soaked!

@troublewithwords That's because modern surfers are weaklings and cowards unworthy of their ancestors.

@benroyce I am a professional mediator and I approve this message.

"Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas"?

@urbanfoxe @CatDragon Dude sincerely believes he's never going to leave office and never going to die.

Narcissism is a helluva drug.

@urbanfoxe @CatDragon Or more accurately, dude is afraid of dying and in denial about it and so he's acting even more grandiose and creating more chaos because that's how he's always coped with any threats to his invincibility. Good overview of the stages of narcissists facing death here: https://narcissismexposed.com/how-does-narcissist-act-when-dying/

@steter @benroyce @c_dan4th
His hair is what I hate most about Gavin Newsom. He's basically channeling Draco Malfoy; how could he *not* be evil?

@benroyce @c_dan4th Gavin Newsom is the Bill Clinton of John Fettermans.

@mcc Ah, but in the northern hemisphere every analog watch is also a compass! Hold it horizontal, point the hour hand at the point on the horizon closest to the sun, and halfway between there and 12:00 is due South.

Really!

I just went lap swimming for the first time in... what, two decades? More? Praise me.

I hope John Roberts' furnace breaks today.

I hope John Roberts ran outside this morning in his underwear to grab the paper, realized the door had locked behind him, walked barefoot and freezing to the back door to see if that was open, realized it wasn't, froze for half an hour before his wife woke up, slipped and fell on the ice banging on the window, and spent the day groaning in bed with sciatica.

I hope John Roberts can't watch the NFL playoff games today because he has explosive diarrhea.

I hope John Roberts' hemorrhoid flared up really badly today and even bled through his suit pants a little.

I hope John Roberts' wife notices a weird pimple on the shaft of his penis as they're about to make love tonight, tells him she has a headache, excuses herself to the bathroom, and quietly starts googling the words "syphilis" and "chancre."

I hope John Roberts broke a glass and cut his finger while mixing his Manhattan tonight.

I hope John Roberts comes home tonight and is astounded to find, on his front porch, a completely functional time machine so he travels back to 1787 to actually meet the Framers of the U.S. Constitution except he contracts cholera and dies painfully but not from the cholera itself but rather from the 18th century physicians who apply leeches and let his blood until he becomes fatally exsanguinated. #OriginalistMedicine

I hope John Roberts has to get up in the middle of the night to pee because of his enlarged prostate and stubs his baby toe REALLY hard on the metal corner of his bedframe.

I hope peaceful but very loud resistance protestors disrupt John Roberts' church today.