Notices by M.S. Bellows, Jr. (msbellows@c.im), page 2

I hope John Roberts' cat threw up in his bed last night.

I hope John Roberts' law clerks all were sick today so he had to actually do his own legal research and he ended up wandering angrily around the Supreme Court law library stacking heavy volumes of West's case law on tables and wondering why the hell the Shephards annual, monthly, and weekly pocket parts haven't been kept up to date. #law

I hope John Roberts' pillow is too hot tonight no matter how many times he flips it looking for the cool side.

I hope John Roberts goes to an exclusive party thrown by a D.C. powerbroker and accidentally picks up a roofied drink intended for a young intern and the intern gets home safely but Roberts gets completely wasted and a recently-fired WaPo photojournalist who now has to try and make a living as a freelancer gets a really embarrassing photo and it goes viral and now everyone is sure the Chief Justice is an alkie.

I hope John Roberts picks up a can of leftover Coke he finds on the counter and accidentally swallows a giant dead housefly.

I hope John Roberts wants to watch "Bugonia" with Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone tonight and then realizes he doesn't subscribe to Peacock.

I hope John Roberts is rooting for the Patriots. #SuperBowl

I hope someone showed John Roberts Ian McKellan's performance of "The Stranger's Case speech" on Colbert and he objected loudly, "Bullshit. I took a Shakespeare class at Harvard and they never mentioned a play called 'Sir Thomas More'!" and a passing stranger responded, 'well, I attended the excellent public university U.C. Davis and they certainly taught ME that. Sorry you paid so much for a shitty education, loser," and then Justice Roberts felt confused and embarrassed. https://youtu.be/Nwd6vcfR3HI?si=UxmdNUxvUqO22inr

I hope John Roberts is really excited to watch the women's halfpipe finals in the Olympics today but his TV shows nothing but flickering black and white vertical lines and the warranty just expired.

I hope John Roberts is alone in his study tonight surreptitiously watching some old man-young actress porn that Clarence Thomas recommended and then his wife walks in and is visibly disgusted.

I hope John Roberts leaves the Supreme Court bathroom with a long strip of toilet paper stuck to his heel and all the clerks laugh at him behind his back.

I hope John Roberts was impotent last night on Valentine's Day and then this morning he felt better but his wife had a Sunday morning nail appointment that lasted an oddly long time.

I hope John Roberts' wife hands him a giant heart-shaped box of candy for Valentine's Day today and he feels happy and romantic but when he opens it it contains nothing but maple creams and artificial cherry flavored wax lips.

Mara likes to rest her head in my hand. I'll occasionally scritch her jaw lightly with my thumb, and she always carefully places her paw on my wrist, holding my hand reassuringly the same way I'm holding her little head reassuringly. It's become our thing, and it makes me happy. Sorry, Lyricdancer, but this is the most romantic relationship I've ever had. #Caturday

@adhdeanasl

@adhdeanasl

Seen at a Habitat ReStore:
#IYKYK #old

Turns out "hagiography" means "biography of a hag" after all.
#ReviewMelania #HashTagGames

@skinnylatte The "Social Safeway" is still a thing???!!!

Is there still a trio of singles bars colloquially called the Herpes Triangle?

@paulmison @skinnylatte It shortens the swingers' commute, reducing global warming!