Notices by Bynkii (bynkii@mastodon.social)

@shortridge and literally all we want is a heads-up. We had a critical testing/design tool stop working. The cause? A new antimalware package on both servers and clients. No warning.

We constantly get OMG OVERDUE emails about vuln patching, but fhe “standard way” was security -> central IT -> us.

Every time we begged them to just send us the vuln reports, they ignored us. So I finally found the procedure to get our own reports.

@shortridge the “we don’t exist to make your life easier” is a direct quote.

The problem is, they said that to a petty bitch spite engine with advanced degrees in malicious compliance.

I will absolutely do extra work to fuck up their day in ways they can do nothing about.

@shortridge

Infosec complains about shadow IT whilst being the biggest cause of it. They’re like arsonists who moonlight as firefighters.

@shortridge

We get the next OMG emails and this time I was “yeah, we know, already working with the vendor on the right procedure, think you could yank the fw block preventing us from downloading the update? Here’s the ticket I put in on it”

They were *quiet* about that. Like dude, LET ME HELP YOU!
No one gains from unpatched vulns, but you literally cause us to miss the deadlines by being control freaks.

@nileane @macstories @cwebber mossier literally said transphobic attacks were “rough joshing between friends” and so threads would do nothing about them.

@mekkaokereke my new one is cornbread waffles stuffed with bacon and eggs.

My next experiment is going to be using hashbrowns in the stuffed “waffle” maker.

Creating delicious chaos out here!

@GottaLaff @gfjacobs @tylervu

Before you start with “WeLL cHaNgE tHe LaW”, we both know there’s no civil law that will stop this. You know better than most that even if a unicorn jury levied the amount of fine that would actually hurt, if it made it out of the courtroom, it would be reduced to a pittance and MAYBE an apology on appeal.

This is unarguable. We’ve seen it happen.

So when, exactly, do CEO’s of companies who make decisions that provably kill people face any form of legal penalty?

@GottaLaff @gfjacobs @tylervu

Every year, large numbers of people die, are bankrupted, are disabled, are slammed into generational poverty because of UHC et al.

These companies, by their pursuit of profit have actually caused death and destruction and the worst, the absolute worst they will ever face is: a civil penalty. A fine that will amount to couch change.

@GottaLaff @gfjacobs @tylervu whether or not I approve is immaterial.

If the shooter was someone who’d lost a family memeber due to UHC denying a procedure or medication, (these are not imaginary hypotheticals, people actually die because of this), someone with a family member who’d been effectively murdered by that man’s company, this would be a very different discussion.

@GottaLaff @gfjacobs @tylervu we already know the answer: never.

Those who are protected by the law are not bound by it, those who are bound by the law are not protected by it.

Whether or not you approve of a CEO being treated like someone who died because their medical needs were deemed unnecessary by said CEO, the fact you seem to have no understanding of what men like him have done and how it could push someone to take that action is really disappointing.

@mekkaokereke @alienghic @PJ_Evans @risottobias @craignicol @amy for ten mil per? Shit, I’ll figure out how to be fuckin’ octomom!

@inthehands @stephstephking @markmorow at least half of my success in it is because I can write well. I can communicate my ideas to people who aren’t me or aren’t in tech.

@foone @inherentlee try OS/2, it’s a more stable environment for Win3.1

@shortridge actual conversation I’ve had:

Them: “you have a vulnerability relating to <CVE>”

Me: <reads CVE> “the CVE refers to a file not on <server>, vuln scanner is doing <process I understand *very* well because I use it daily> which only gives a version number. It’s a dumb plugin”

Them: “how will you mitigate?”

Me: “the file referenced does not exist on the server, it is perfectly mitigated”

Them: “when will the vendor fix?”

Me: “never, they do not use that file”

Goto 10, endlessly

@shortridge but if everyone used modern best practice and architected systems to be both resistant and resilient by design, then cyberbros would no longer be seen as Superman!

@shortridge it’s how they’ve been taught to see things. If you look in their lives, they view almost everything through the “value is determined by pain” lens.

They can’t just work out, they have to find the most extreme gym. They can’t just have a nice home wifi, they have to run conduit for fiber to everything.

A *lot* of them have to make everything hard so they feel fulfilled in accomplishing it.

@jacklaridian @KingShawn I’m sure tone-policing gets lots of people on your side.

I appreciate the lengths apple goes through to prevent rogue devices, but there’s some rough edges in the workflow that need work.

#ipadprom4

Okay, new iPad Pro is downloading its initial SW update. Using my iPhone for the initial setup really removes so many pain points. It is indeed very thin.

#ipadprom4

Musk is saying you’ll soon be able to use a dorktruck as a boat. MFer, it can’t handle a CAR WASH or RAIN. But the culties will absolutely take him seriously and someone is going to drown in the fucking thing.