Notices by olena (olena@mementomori.social)

So, the neuropsychologist I’ve been referred to to be assessed regarding ADHD, after two sessions, told me I score way too high on the autism questionnaire, so I must have autism and not ADHD (funny after my previous psychiatrist was sure about my ADHD, but not autism), and my ADHD questionnaire answers are less relevant because the problems “happen in social situations or special contexts” - and I was like ‘aren’t all the contexts special?’, but, of course, didn’t say it out loud - it seems, she’s just one of those who still consider autism and ADHD to be mutually exclusive.

And after that, she said she’s not a specialist in autism, only in ADHD, and I must look for another specialist to talk about autism assessment, and, of course, neither her health center nor my insurance company have one.

And people keep behaving as if those who don’t have an official diagnosis, don’t count! I mean, even financial side aside (hello 340 euros spent for nothing so far!), for someone with executive distinction to get through all those steps is insane and requires quite a lot of effort and dedication from anyone trying to - how can anyone expect all the ND people really go through it?

#autism
#ADHD
#assessment
#neurodivergent
@actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic also, some funny thing about the questionaries is that if you, like me, avoid answering too categorically (no matter what the question is, I most often hesitate to give 1 or 5 answers on those ‘rate on the scale from 1 to 5’ questions), you don’t score as high as people who are more ‘sure’. I mean, doesn’t matter how well the symptom fits, I feel like “always” and “never” are not valid answers for like 99.99% of questions at all, because there always are some exceptions, and I, being a monolith of doubt, almost never say I am absolutely sure in anything. Even if you ask me if I am sure about my name or my identity. So I feel that that kind of assessment when they just count the points is kinda wrong?

@actuallyautistic I almost feel like I need the questionary to have the range of seven answers for me if I’m supposed to reliably answer within the range of 5

@chillicampari @morph wow! I didn’t even know there are plants other than Drosera which trap insects with sticky leaves! This Pinguicula is cool - and quite beautiful!

@loren would you accept a bunny I met a month ago on my walk to buy groceries?

Not sure if #bonsai qualifies for #Bloomscrolling , but I guess it could
I think I can watch some bonsai trees for hours. My thoughts are caught in their complex twisted shapes like in some kind of labyrinth, it’s hypnotizing

@KatyElphinstone @youronlyone speaking of those greeting kisses and mixing cultures - in my country it’s expected to kiss a cheek or a forehead of your relatives/ very close friends and their kids in general. I always felt awkward with that, and taught my kid they don’t have neither do nor allow that if they don’t want to. Here in Spain, they do those dos besos: kissing both chicks when greeting, and I got used to it, and do it without thinking twice(initiated by them usually) with some locals or same immigrants as me in Spanish classes. But if one of my Ukrainian colleagues would try to do that - I’d feel uncomfortable

@BathysphereHat yeah, when I was 15, for some reason I thought I’d live to 27 maximum, and even that seemed soo old to me. Now in my forties I’m looking at my 28 years old coworker and thinking what a child he is. Like, not in offensive or exaggerated way, I really feel like I’m an auntie.

@lanodan @ShadowJonathan @neku I have one day to draw a pic summing up all the interpretations to my ‘soy pan’, but I’m too lazy to even tshirt the words

Just was ‘diagnosed’ with anxiety today after talking to a psychiatrist for five minutes (I’m using quotes because it seems a bit too preliminary to me to diagnose whoever with whatever after about 5 minutes of general talk).
Came asking for #ADHD and #autism evaluation. Was totally ignored on that regard) Of course, didn’t have courage to ask again.

Was it so obvious? Was I just a walking stereotype: middle-aged woman from a war-thorn country living alone who voluntarily came to a psychiatrist(doesn’t matter what else she has, she can’t NOT be anxious)?
Or is it just a general experience of most of #AuDHD female-passing folks: to be seen as anxious, to have most of their symptoms attributed to #anxiety (not like I was asked about any symptoms, but maybe have demonstrated some?)?

@actuallyautistic

Everytime I stand in front of the door and frantically search for the keys in my bag, all that #anxiety makes me panic, pushes me to the verge of tears - even though it is not such a big deal because I’m not in a hurry and if anything, the concierge has a spare pair.
So, naturally, my #autistic brain tries to compensate for a possible #ADHD fail - and every time I walk home, I feel almost unbeatable urge to get my keys out of my bag to my hand when I am still like 200 meters from home.
I suppose, it’s the same overcompensation mechanism that makes me come to airport at least two hours before the departure and to a train station at least an hour before, buy spares of essentials each time a bottle starts feeling not full, or always have a stocked pantry(though there may be multiple of ones and none of others as I always forget to check what I have before going to the store)

Is this exaggerated(to the point of creating problems) ‘better safe than sorry’ something #AuDHD people are more prone to? Do you guys also do that?
@actuallyautistic

@pathfinder @devxvda @actuallyautistic I have a weird thing with people and faces. If you show me a series of photos, I have no issues with picking the ones belonging to the same person. But don’t ask me to recognize the person in real life - I can’t. Like, pictures and a real person are so different to me, I can’t make the connection

@BeAware @iBlame nah, my old black-and white TV without remote didn’t beep)

I feel like I need to introduce myself properly. Though, my views on privacy/anonymity may change, so there’s a chance I’ll delete it later, but nothing lasts forever anyway, so let’s go while I’m in a talkative mood.
So, I’m a xennial Ukrainian, currently living in Spain alone with my cat due to the war. I work in gamedev (don’t get too excited, nothing supercool, I am mostly casual games GD/PM).
I am interested in science, nature, books and foods. Love sci-fi.
Used to listen mostly to metal, mostly Northern European, but currently, while still find it beautiful, get overwhelmed with emotions too easily, so can’t listen to it for long, so mostly switched to very light music which was totally not my thing even a decade ago, let alone in my youth.
I have some mental health issues. Neurodivergent, though not sure of the flavor, probably AuDHD. Never went to be diagnosed due to availability, financial side and some lack of trust.
I don’t understand gender. Like, I don’t identify as any, I don’t think in terms of gender, I don’t get the need for one. To me, in an ideal society asking/assuming someone’s gender/sex would be totally inappropriate unless you’re going to procreate with that person, as anyone should be free to do whatever they want, to look however they want and to love whoever they want. So, AFAB, while I usually stay neutral online, due to my body composition, most of my looks IRL are usually considered extremely feminine by others.
I am pan/ace, I don’t know how to define correctly. Basically, I don’t feel spontaneous desire towards any people. I do feel horny in general, but I may channel it towards whoever I choose, sex/gender doesn’t matter. Same with romantic love: I’ve never felt it spontaneously appearing, but I can(and did) induce it towards chosen person, and feed it, and grow it up to the point of it taking over me and me concentrating all my being in that feeling. Sometimes I think I can’t love, sometimes I think it’s all I can.
Married, but currently separated due to the war.
Have an adult kid studying in another country.
I like humor that doesn’t hurt anyone. I love puns, and I think inter-lingual ones are especially cool when you have someone to share them with.
I love sharing foods, emotions and impressions. I believe that shared joy is doubled joy and sharing is caring.
I love eating nice things, cooking and baking, but my current apartment doesn’t have an oven, so I haven’t made a bread for two years(and it bothers me!)
I love fruits. I love walking. I love seeing new places, new biomes, new landscapes. I am not good at it, but I still like noticing birds, plants, bugs and everything alive.
I am afraid of weapons and everything military (always was, even before the war) and hate horror movies, but I find cemeteries calming, am not scared of macabric art(like it sometimes) and prefer big sharp knives at kitchen. Basically, I am not afraid of death, I am not ok with suffering. Though, I am generally a coward, I prefer safety and hate adrenaline.
I am quite socially awkward. I don’t know what is proper, what is appropriate, what is adequate. I usually can’t see where to stop. I may really love friendly social interactions, but I get overwhelmed easily. That may be a reason why I haven’t ever had any actual close friends. Or maybe I just can’t into friendships the same way I can’t love, idk.
I tend to overshare and regret

Well, I guess, it’s clear why I needed an instance with big character limit :)
#introduction

@ideogram anecdotally, I and some other autistic folks I know all have some struggle with understanding gender as a concept. It may contribute, I guess? It seems to be that part of social norms, and autistic people are known for struggling with understanding those, so probably just another side to it?