Notices by Crayon Eater (crayoneater@kiwifarms.cc)
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@mjdigspigs @Tony @Humpleupagus @KingOfWhiteAmerica @graf
Bot is an adult human female with an XX chromosome.
She is the most fertile woman I have known.
Painfully
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@Humpleupagus @mjdigspigs @KingOfWhiteAmerica
My state Capital building had interior walls made up of cross sections of thousand year old old-growth trees that were yards wide. They tore that all down and redesigned the interior with a modernist abomination in it's place for no reason other thant to erase the history of the state. They even tore down and destroyed all the totempoles each tribe in the state made specifically to recognize Oregon becoming a state and acknowledge their tribe's acknowledgement.
The indian stuff was actually very important because Oregon never had any restrictions on our local tribes other than the one time they tried to build a parallel economy and create their own currency. Every tribe here volluntarily joined America, and that is why the only reservations in Oregon are from tribes that aren't native to Oregon and only came here because they were such niggers they were kicked out of everywhere else.
Those Totempoles where literal contracts, in the old language of the natives, between their tribes and us to treat each others as brothers and to work together towards a common goal of wealth and prosperity.
And they were all torn out, desecrated, and destroyed by a bunch of faggots from california who moved here a couple of decades ago and took over local politics by sheer numbers.
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@mjdigspigs @Humpleupagus @KingOfWhiteAmerica @graf
Nah graf specifically defederated us because of :jew: but by the time Borzoi rage quite poast Null and Graf were already in a slapfight and it got really personal.
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Average bongistani awed by the fact he can go outside without feeling like his life is in danger.
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Do yuropoors not realise how fucking awesome it is to be an American? That all our
>USA USA USA
chants and American flag t-shirts are 100% unironic? Do they think that we live like this under duress, like someone has a gun to our heads making us eat "scones and mushrooms," and this is not the way we wanna live?
No, we live this way because it is amazing. Everything tastes good. Everything's fun. We make make way more money than you, and our government steals way less of it than yours. We are entertained 24/7 365. We're so comfortable, happy, and satisfied that wide swaths of America have to invent reasons to be angry so they can performatively protest our greatness and engage in the most sacred and ancient American tradition of LARPing as the weary rebel fighting the good fight against an oppresive overlord.
Now are we wildly unhealthy and obese? Yeah, sure.
Are we superficial and materialistic assholes? Yes.
Are we, the people, and all of our elected officials arogant and annoying? Absolutely.
But that's all overshadowed by the simple day-to-day awesomeness of being American. We've got like all the money, all the best food, all the coolest people, the newest & most advanced tech, endless sources of fun, sex, and entertainment.
Now maybe all of that stuff is physically killing us, while it definitely mentally and spiritually erodes our soul, but on a day-to-day basis?
I got to tell you, it is pretty great.
You can wake up, eat all the biscuits and gravy you want, wash it down with a pint or two for breakfast, before going fishing or playing guitar on your back porch. If I wanted to, right now, drunk drive into town, purchase a ticket on the regional puddle jumper, fly two states away to go listen to The Dead South perform live in Montana tonight, catch a flight back home just in time to take a shower and head out to church tomorrow. I could easily do all of that without incuring any significant hardship to my pocket or self beyond more damage my liver doesn't need, and any physical altercation I may get into if I find out someone from Wyoming is in the audience and tell them their state SUCKS since the only person worth a damn from there is dead (RIP in peace Cobes)
This is America, land of the free and brave, from sea to shining sea baby.
God bless America and nowhere else.
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@mjdigspigs
This insta /fit/fluencer just finished a months long visit to the US, returned home, and has been depressed ever since. Now his TL is being blown up by Brits here for the World Cup and he is sneeding about wishing he was American.
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@mjdigspigs
I never saw a nigger outside of TV until I enlisted in the Army and going from the comfortable lie Dr. Huxtable, Carl Winslow, and Carlton Banks to the ugly reality of D'Shawn Bell, Titus Ohrealyus, and Mahamood Jefferson (all real names btw) was shocking to say the least.
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A British prostitute comes to America for the WC hoping to chase some johns and the money. In the process she is shock and awed by the fact Americans don't instantly fold to authority, stubbornly stick to their own personal paths, and believe that the impossible is possible if they just work harder than everyone else unlike the weak feckless men of her home island.
If you ignore the constant shilling for her sex work, her twitter is a goldmine of gems. She got in a car wreck day one in LA driving on the wrong side of the road, then when some random American offered to drive her around while she was in town she was shocked he turned down her services because he just wanted her to have a good impression of America and not catching an STI.
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@mjdigspigs
It was a shock. I remember getting put on staff of duty at my first duty station and having a drunk nigger in my unit roll into the barracks at 3AM my first week in the unit and drunkenly lecture me on why rape is good actually and those White bitches deserved it because White men are weak and don't hit them meaning we put the pussy on a pedastal and worship women like gimp slaves. This was 2002 and the nigger was literally a decade ahead of incel talking points.
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@CuttlefishofCthulhu
Noting America's imperfections is less a castigation of ourselves, than an indictment of other nations that can't even live up to the base standard. Like deadass we are doing the bare minimum to maintain global civilization. If you can't at least match us, and just parasitically wallow in the effluence of America you aren't a real nation.
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@georgia @Deadlift @ellenor2000 @technolyze
Exactly. Orcs are nigger coded brutes who revel in violence for the sake of violence. Orkz are hilarious sendups of Norf Footy hooligans who enjoy violence because it was hard coded into their genetics when they were engineered as a biological weapon. Plus orkz have motorcycles.
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@georgia @Deadlift @ellenor2000 @technolyze
No Warhammer is for BABIES and has elves, orcs, and knights. 40K has cool stuff like Aeldari, Orkz, and Space Marines.
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@georgia @Deadlift @ellenor2000 @technolyze
No MOM this is Warhammer 40K which is grim and dark for mature adults like me.
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@georgia @Deadlift @ellenor2000 @technolyze
My fantasy is to have a set of Indomitus Pattern Tactical Dreadnought Armour that has a powerfirst with an intergrated bolter, a storm shield, a legion of sworn battle brothers, and to restore the Roman Empire through terror campaigns waged across every nation on earth.
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@technolyze @Deadlift @ellenor2000 @georgia
Those are Dreadnaughts. Tactical Dreadnaughts are the beefy boy shocktroops known as Terminators.
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@D00B @Doll @ins0mniak
I should get another cat.
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@sun @georgia @genmaicha @joey
Isn't most of the horsemeat consumed in Japan sourced from Ban'ei horses that are too old to race? I wouldn't imagine that old draft horse would be very delicious.
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@Leyonhjelm @sun
No one is forcing you to eat that big mac, preacher.
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@pernia @vriska @sun
Mormons aren't Christian. They believe Jesus was just the god (lower case) of this earth, and when they die that they will become gods of their own private earths and have harems of wives.
Mormons are the Muslims of America.
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@pernia @vriska @sun
It's basically a UFO cult with a thin veneer of Christian imagery leftover from when they were trying to mollify American Christians.
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Crayon Eater
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