Notices by Nuclear Oatmeal :paranoid: (nuclearoatmeal@beige.party)

RE: https://furry.engineer/@soatok/116684771406334186

C'mon, y'all. They're at 66/90 thousand. Drop a few bucks in.

Sysadmins deserve their own TLD!

@ryanc

It is... A machine that goes ping.

I dunno. I half lean toward it being a sensor of some sort, but of what, I do not know.

@soatok

I'm not a furry, but good luck. Threw in a little bit of cash.

@ErikUden

Have a few more...

@ATLeagle @the_etrain

John Mastodon has taught all things to all seekers of knowledge. He has taught the bees how to make honey. He brought the knowledge of nest making to all birds that sought that knowledge. He taught the fish to swim.

John Mastodon taught the stars to shine, and the Eldritch horrors how to steal souls.

So a little bit of penis injection is a 15 minute seminar.

@Alice

@catsalad

Side view.

@selzero

Diversity dude... Wow.

Since I'm a recluse and already had a few skin cancer scares, I'm rarely outside to tan, so I look pretty much gringo.

However, when I do spend enough time, I turn a nice light Mediterranean brown.

I guess I'd be some other type. Maybe "woke dude"? Inclusive dude?

I'm starting to get madder as I'm typing this, so I'll take it to my postings.

@skeletor

I love you, Inspirational Skeletor!

@Alice

"So, since trains normally don't have faces, some people wonder about Thomas and his peers. The truth is, when you embrace the love of Satan, nothing is refused for you..."

One horrible day, Sir Bertram Thopham Hatt had a breakdown of his personal jet, yet he still has business to conduct in London. As such, he had no choice but to take the train, since bankers don't work with billion dollar businesses over the phone, and the boffins had been rude enough to not have built the Internet yet, along with Zoom calls.

While waiting for his train in the club lounge, Sir Hatt's reading was disturbed by children running around the station, screaming and making "Toot Toot" sounds and pretending to be trains, and running into the club so they could be chased out by the doorman.

After what seemed like hours of these shenanigans, Sir Hatt stood up, grabbed a child by the ear and stomped into the lobby.

"WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? THESE HOOLIGANS ARE OUT OF CONTROL! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS TRAVESTY?"

A young teacher calmly walked to Sir Hatt, explaining, "Oh, good Sir. The children are only playing. We've been on expedition today, and we're now returning home. Leave the children be. Play is good for them, and they enjoy pretending to be trains."

"I HEAR NO SOLUTION FROM YOU, SO I WILL TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HAND, STARTING WITH THIS YOUNG RUFFIAN!"

Sir Hatt made odd gestures with one hand, and pulled on young Thomas' ear until his feet were a foot above the floor.

"YOU WISH TO BE A TRAIN? SO MOTE IT BE!"

The hand holding Thomas started glowing red, and when the glow was too bright to see, the sound of metal being bent and smashing against other metal overwhelmed the lobby. The smell of fuel and smoke filled the room, and a small confused scream could be heard coming from the rail yard.

Young Thomas was nowhere to be found.

"AND THE REST OF YOU SHALL JOIN HIM!"

With that, Sir Hatt waved both hands through the air, and the glow of tiny stars appeared to leave his hands and floated to each child. The shock of Thomas' disappearance had frozen each child in place, and as the small star contacted each child, a familiar glow started, raising from each child.

"AS YOU WERE, YOU WILL BE. I WILL IT THROUGH THE POWER OF THE MORNING STAR!"

More metal sounds were heard, and in some cases, the movement of the metal sounded like screams. As the glow where each child had been started to fade, it could be seen that there were no more children in the train station lobby. Incoherent screams and yells could be heard from the rail yard.

Sir Hatt looked pleased, did a sharp turnabout, and went back to the club to wait for his train. He knew that there was new business here for him in the days ahead, but known business in London took priority, and these children could wait. Outside.

---

"And that's how Thomas the tank engine and all of his friends came into our world.'

"Now over here, you can see what's called a push cart. You could have two people..."

(Fade away as Alice walks, continuing her corruption of the youth.)

@Alice

@LRRRonEarth

WELL YOU PROBABLY DID, BUT YOU TELL US *LOTS* OF STUFF. COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?