Notices by Alice McFlurry :bc: (alice@beige.party)

Where the magic happens.

I’m afraid of dying because I’m worried my family will make a memorial video out of the webcam photos I used for fake craigslist casual encounters posts.

I support teaching Christianity in public schools as long as they rename it to Middle Eastern Mythology.

[Finalizing the details of the Louisiana Purchase]

USA: The southern tip appears to be pretty susceptible to flooding…
France: Oh yeah, it totally floods almost every time it rains, but it comes with the territory!

My weight loss tip is for everyone to eat one less cookie and to send it to me so I can eat it instead.

AI seriously baffles me because I can't believe we're at a point where we read articles and need to ask ourselves if it was written by a person, a stupid person, or an algorithm.

Oh, this costume? I’m adjacent over hypotenuse-playing as a math nerd.

It is with a heavy heart that I inform everyone that most human hearts weigh less than one pound, so they aren't even that heavy, ya wimps.

My favorite winter sport is hanging out in bed under a pile of blankets in an activity I like to refer to as Grey Gardensing.

My rapper name is Lil Smokey.

I hate the new year because I keep accidentally writing the year on my checks as 2004 since that's the last time it was acceptable to write a check.

I climbed to the top of a parking garage so I could take this photo. It's definitely not my favorite style of architecture, but I loved the way the building was reflecting bright blue skies on an otherwise gloomy day. https://gram.social/p/Alice/780077668611714353

People on Bluesky will brag about having thousands of followers while refusing to acknowledge that most of them are bots or scammers.

They, uh, they know, right?

As Benjamin Franklin wisely said, "In this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes and the phenomenon in public restrooms where, if the automatic faucet works, the automatic soap dispenser will not, or vice versa."

Hi, friends!

The incredible @dannotdaniel made a PartyAlice emoji!

:alice_party:

@theropologist added it to beige.party, so everyone on beige.party can use it.

If you're not on beige.party, you can ask your admin to add it to your instance.

Also, if you're willing, will you please boost this post because nothing would make me more happy than seeing a bunch of PartyAlices floating around the Fediverse.

I don’t know who needs to hear this so I’m just not gonna say it.

It's a Christmas miracle because I burnt my tortilla and the face of Skeletor magically appeared!

Please boost for visibility so the news outlets will pick up on this great story.

Shortly after 6th grade ended, my weird aunt who was obsessed with “health” and fitness told me that bread had empty calories and I assumed that meant 0 calories, so I spent the entire summer eating a shitload of bread and it was the greatest summer of my life.

I got kicked out for heckling, but it's not my fault because that eulogy wasn't even funny.