Notices by Alice McFlurry :bc: (alice@beige.party)

Proposition for everyone to replace their voicemail greeting with "text me if it's important."

Appreciation post for Murphy, the bar dog at Sante Adairius in Oakland, CA!

@sand Maybe because it makes me feel good to know that people appreciate my dumb jokes? No complaints here!

@sand We've got this place in San Francisco

Camel case is very important because I just came across a post with #whoremembers and I got excited because I thought it was #WhoreMembers until I realized it's just #WhoRemembers.

Like, I don't care about your nostalgia for Chatty Cathy dolls, Carol. Just let me vibe with my fellow whores.

The photo quality is terrible because I took this from a moving car, but I’m pretty sure I just witnessed the start of an Orwellian revolution.

In his defense, he's not like a fruit scientist or anything.

Celebrating 15 years of being married to @KevBot!

Them: You're taller than I pictured.

Me: I know. Many people think I’m a foot long at most.

Found my nerdy field notebook from Geology school!

Whenever my husband is at the ATM, I like to stand next to him and act all jittery and say things like "Thanks, man. Just this one last time, promise!" just to make the other people in line feel uncomfortable.

As a person who was a child in the '80s, I am NOT a fan of the fact that all of the adults on the TV shows that I grew up with were all younger than I am now.

I remember being so annoyed with Twitter in the late 2000s when it seemed like all of the posts were super boring with people just saying dull things like "eating a sandwich" and now we're in the TikTok age where the content is equally as mind-numbing, but now we also have to watch them eating those dumb sandwiches.

I bought the Anarchist Cookbook but it's been really hard getting those unruly MFers into the pot.

A burrito so big they gotta call it a burro.

Joint health is very important to ensure our blunts grow big and strong.

Someone needs to tell the idiots of LinkedIn that being "apart of a company" is very different from being "a part of a company."

It's always in some bragging LinkedIn post about how they accepted a new position and are "excited to be apart of [CompanyName]."

If I were the hiring manager and saw that, I'd ask them to hand back the offer letter.

Ooh. I forgot. Half of the time, they also say that they "excepted" a new position.

I know I’m being kind of bratty, but this is specifically a website about employment and I don’t want to think that the person I just hired has the potential to send correspondence with similar mistakes while acting as a representative of my company.