Notices by Ben (thebreadmonkey@beige.party)

What an absolute *unit* I say to myself sadly as I have yet another sandwich

WHAT 🤯

David Fincher To Direct Once Upon A Time In Hollywood Sequel Written By Quentin Tarantino
https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/david-fincher-once-upon-a-time-in-hollywood-sequel-quentin-tarantino/

ⓘ 𝘜𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘴

I don't mean to brag you guys but I just sold my first item on Vinted. Managed to get £37.50 for a blazer I spent only £250 on then wore once. 👍

To be fair, I was a different man back then. I really saw myself wearing this out and about on a daily basis. I thought..... 'yeah, that's me - I'm that sort of person'. Turns out I wasn't.

It's midnight and I'm exhausted so you know what that means!.... Just did a psychometric test to find out which Star Trek TNG character I'm most like. The answer *may* surprise you....

@arratoon

I would literally cut off my own head to spend 7 years living with Lucy Liu. However there exists no parallel universe where someone like her could ever be truly happy with someone like me. And I suspect she would annoy me too after a while. With her yoghurt and whatnot.

I don't mean to brag, you guys, but I made the national news

My brain

Can someone please explain neoliberalism to me in a way my brain will be capable of easily digesting? Every time I try and read a definition I can't concentrate past the first few words. I search 'what is neoliberalism?' and the results read...

Neoliberalism is an ideology that postulates blah blah market-cap blah blah deregulation blah blah state intervention blah blah unprecedented era blah blah deregulation blah blah commerce

I secretly think noone really knows what it actually is. Like..... Ow! I just stubbed my toe! That is so neoliberalism.

I am thrilled to report that I am merging my two latest acquisitions - toast and coffee, and have valued them jointly this morning at eleventy bazillion pounds

JD Vance has all the credibility of a Star Trek redshirt. His legacy will be that he'll be a quite difficult pub quiz answer in a couple of years.

Don't you hate it when you've had a shower and brushed your teeth, got your jammies on and have your bottle of water filled and get into bed and then realise you've forgotten to have your bedtime pasta

I don't even know what day it is anymore

Lol

@altbot

I know there are probably more important things going on in the world right now, but this sort of thing makes me furious

Sex bot, sex bot, you're a sex bot.
Coming from dot social, why does this not make me shocked.

@blabberlicious @andymoose

This is positively pornographic

With all that is awful about everything I'm thrilled to report some people on Fedi are still able to surprise me with some of the mad things they're annoyed about

@photovotary

Lol. I don't mind this sort of thing! This is perfectly reasonable! I have a fork I despise. It's people who find fault in the innocuous. Like if someone says they like a picture of a flower and someone responds with something insane like...

'That flower is actually worse than Hitler because it's responsible for the near extinction of a slightly different native flower, like the invasive American signal crayfish, introduced to the UK for farming, now thriving in rivers and canals, outcompeting native white-clawed crayfish and carrying the deadly crayfish plague. Is that what you want? Crayfish Hitler? Is that what you want? The death of all plant life and river dwellers. You bastard!'

This wasn't a good example actually. It would have been easier for me to just say it was someone defending JD Vance by saying we shouldn't joke about him having sex with a sofa when he apparently actually didn't. Never mind it just being a bit of fun perpetrated against a person who is 89% lie - a person who is in effect sentencing people to death. I for one shall carry on making jokes about him. I don't think it goes far enough to say he had sex with a settee. I shall say he has sex with all furniture and is particularly fond of a wicker chair.