Notices by Mary PoppBens (thebreadmonkey@beige.party)

I don't want to get controversial on the Internet but I really don't think it should be allowed in World's Biggest Sandwich or whatever to include just really really long ones. That is not big that is long. I want to see a sandwich the size and shape of a house, not just some normal sized sandwiches end to end. We don't say spaghetti is the biggest lasagne SORT IT OUT, PEOPLE

Stop what you're doing. Put that down. You there. Stop doing *that* immediately.

It's difficult sometimes on the old Fediverse finding all of the amazing people that reside here, which is why it's so important to shout about those who enrich the sacred timeline. One such person for me is the indomitable (full disclosure I don't really know what that word means) @astronomerritt who is AMAZING.

If you want JOY and INTERESTING things and HILARIOUS stuff and also OCCASIONAL FURY but like in a good way, then I cannot recommend them enough.

Particularly good if you happen to be neurodivergent or interested in the plight of the NDs - I know there's barely any of them neuro's here, it's just all us cool normal people who like to make small talk like hello how are you for example.

However for my money I think Steph is tremendous and am glad to share a community with them, and they make my life and therefore THE ENTIRE WORLD much better.

Or not, I'm not your mum. X
(but do, or I will know, and come the uprising your place will not be guaranteed)

"In China, driverless delivery vans have become a total meme, they plow through crumbling roads, fresh concrete, motorcycles, anything. Nothing stops them."

Just in case you were considering..... don't drink your own piss. 👍

Can Drinking Your Pee Save Your Life in an Emergency?

https://www.sciencealert.com/can-drinking-your-pee-save-your-life-in-an-emergency

Right. I have become hyperfixated on the remake of the 1989 Tom Hanks film The Burbs. For a few different reasons. Primarily it doesn't feel long enough since the film to remake it (I will not acknowledge 37 years have passed), but also because it stars Keke Palmer who I'm in love with and feel sure we're destined to be together but not like in a weird way I just want to follow her around secretly and take pictures of her and put them in my basement shrine - and also Jack Whitehall. But like in a straight role as the handsome husband. Jack Whitehall. With Keke Palmer. And I don't know what they've done but he does look genuinely handsome. What is happening. Can someone do this to me? They've probably just fed him well and made him drink a lot of water and done his hair nice and he's got a bit of a tan. Is that all I need? To start looking after myself? Urgh. Never gonna happen. Sorry Keke.

@Nickiquote

Petition to remake it but call it The Boobs and have it just be about boobs

@Nickiquote

Sometimes I don't know what I'm even talking about

@Nickiquote

Also remake X Men but call it Sex Men

Read this expecting to hilariously LAMPOON it, but actually it's pretty good - straightforward explanation for those not yet using Mastodon/Fedi

A beginner's guide to Mastodon, the open source Twitter alternative

https://techcrunch.com/2026/01/01/what-is-mastodon/

@sarble

Have not seen 😊

“The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.”
– Betty White

Oh good

I regret to inform you that the song at the end of Grease has lodged itself in my mind

We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong

Remembered forever as shoo-wop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom

Chang chang, changity chang shoo bop - that's the way it should be

Wah-ooo, yeah

In 2026 I vow to be much more online. I will transfer my entire being into Fedi. Shatter myself into a million pieces and haunt your devices. Invade your dreams. No escape. X

@GreenSkyOverMe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brexit

Only one month until we all in Britain celebrate six years since we Brexited. Can't believe things have been so good since we broke our chains and threw off the oppressive yoke of our evil European overlords. Smooth sailin'! I actually love being poor and watching society collapse. It's brilliant and exactly what we all voted for. No more doctors! No more teachers! No more healthcare! I actually hate being able to afford food and am glad to be living through an unprecedented mental health crisis that the government who was supposed to save us has now decried as laziness. Hooray! Hooray for everything! I'd do another Brexit if I could. Is there any way we could make things even *more* shit? Perhaps allocate the remaining community resources to pay racists to spend all day kicking us in the genitals in between painting roundabouts. Let's do a double Brexit. Just keep on Brexitin' until no buildings are left standing and everything is on fire. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🫡

Seeing a mutual in the federated timeline is like seeing a teacher in own clothes on the weekend

My 2026 new years resolution is to be less enigmatic

This is good

Gorilla statue appears by canal

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c74xd0zzvk8o.amp

Hi guys, just wanted to take a minute to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year, most of all good health! These days people don't spend much time or thought on some personal words to their friends and family, they just copy and paste some random message and send it on. So I just want to thank you and wish you a happy and fulfilling 2018 - you’re the best gymnastics group anyone could ask for. Helen x