Notices by Ben (thebreadmonkey@beige.party)

First thing my daughter said to me when I woke up this morning was ‘If someone hypnotised you to not go for a wee would you get a kidney infection?’. Dude. I just woke up.

@patrickhadfield @inbella https://beige.party/@TheBreadmonkey/113619411794754691

People leaving Instagram for Pixelfed

@fu @Alice @TheBreadmonkey@gram.social

I can barely keep up with 1. But that's largely because I post every waking thought. 😂

@fu @Alice @TheBreadmonkey@gram.social

I use this space to blow off steam, relax, direction the busyness in my mind (which usually comes out as a tidal wave of nonsense and silliness) and also as my beloved community. I really like the idea of there being a different space where I can be a bit more serious and don't feel the compulsion to turn everything into a joke. But I always forget and post them here anyway because I'm *so* online. So am going to attempt to remember and post the things I find more poignant or beautiful without my usual brand of chaotic madness. 😊

I happen to love the work of Darren Aronofsky, but his name annoys me as it seems very inefficient and he should be called Darrenofsky to save everyone time

Going to try and be better at posting images to my Pixelfed account (which if you're interested in following is @TheBreadmonkey@gram.social). The person who got me interested (and if you're not already following you must) is @Alice. 📷

“Ask not for whom the post shits; it shits for thee”

- John (Masto)Donne

Friends. Do not whatever you do buy Squeaky Bean plant-based tuna. For you will unable to stop hoovering it into your damn face until it is all gone. I have looked it up and it is apparently considered 'healthy'. However I have also just consumed half a jar of mayonnaise and half a loaf of bread and I cannot see how that's normal as a post-big-lunch snack. I'm still craving it. I fear they may have accidentally created a new street drug. I'm jonesing for some more pbt (with m and b).

Incredible ice crystals yesterday

@simonjay

I lived in Brighton around the time they were in council and objectively I did not think they did a very good job. Nor did my friends in Brighton. All of which are enthusiastic Green supporters. They are terrific at holding people to account. But I think even they would (and have) concede(d) that things could have gone better. Agreeing with their ideals should not mean I have to give them a free pass.

We cannot go back to the Tories. So what is the solution? We have to hold Labour to account. But are they salvageable? What is the alternative? The LibDems? I do not think they're a serious party, despite some good policies. The Greens? I align most strongly with the Greens but their record in Brighton was not ideal and they are too fringe for any real power (until it's too late, but by that point it will be too late). What is the solution please? I want practical solution not idealism. It's Greens isn't it.

I'm a man. I have as much right as any man to decide what masculinity looks like. And it sure as fuck isn't what a lot of men tell me it looks like. Masculinity to me involves being comfortable in vulnerability and emotion. Anyone who says it is blind stoicism is an idiot.

In an unscheduled break from the million voices all crying out on Fedi with their thoughts and hopes and dreams and troubles and all of the posts about the usual main characters, I bring to you........

I HOPE YOU ARE TERRIFIC AND HAVING A LOVELY TIME WHEREVER YOU ARE. And if you're not..... know that I am beaming you the very best you absolutely bloody ruddy legend. Give yourself a pat on the back and have a little treat. X

If anyone lives in Devon, please can you keep an eye out for my small cheese grater?

When I am King, insurers will be among the first in the space cannons

I see the right-wing American media has already blamed the gays for the wildfires. At what point are you gay enough to cause acts of god (acts of gayd)? What if you're a bit gay? What if you just have gay thoughts sometimes? What if you just like knitting and fancy teas? Is it a scale? Can I cause a small fire if I'm a bit gay? I basically want to know at what point you get the magic powers.

I try very hard not to be uncharitable about people, especially those who have experienced some kind of hardship, so not mentioning any names like actor and outspoken climate change denier James Woods, who presumably doesn't accept that 20 of the most destructive wildfires in Californian history have occurred within the last 26 years - 7 of which were in the last 5 years - but he must presumably think that this is nothing new and has been going on forever, so why then did he choose to buy a house in the area - without insurance? It's quite a maverick move. I see he's blamed liberals for the fires. How does that work? Am I missing something?

I believe that the climate is no different now than it has always been. Despite there being massive recent destructive fires, I think that this is just normal for the area. I shall buy a house and live there. And I shall do it..... without any insurance!

I think I'm jealous of Duolingo?