Notices by Alice McFlurry :bc: (alice@beige.party), page 2

To cut off the reply guys before they can say "actually"

I know the inventor of the gif was named Stephen so don’t come barreling in here with your "facts" in an effort to ruin my very intentionally dumb joke.

Now that the inventor of the gif has died, can we ignore his whack pronunciation and all come together to agree that it should have been a hard G all along?

Most of my photos from the early 2000s are 100x100 pixels because “why would you need anything bigger than a livejournal user icon?”

My husband is probably going to divorce me if I keep referring to his Prius as a Priussy.

After these torrential rains, I think my relationship is finally over because I couldn't help myself from referring to my husband's Prius as a Wet Ass Priussy.

I’m the Bobby Fischer of Connect 4.

If COVID has taught us anything, it's that people should be wearing masks in all healthcare settings, COVID or not.

In addition, if you're coughing or experiencing any other symptoms and can't stay home, please ensure you wear a mask wherever you go.

It doesn't matter if it's COVID or not, it's a matter of respect to try to do everything within your power to not expose others to whatever you may have.

I love when adults wear sports jerseys while watching games as if it makes them look more athletic while they're sitting on a couch eating a pile of chicken wings and shouting at the TV about how they could have caught the ball better than the actual professional athletes on the screen.

You can keep your hoverboards and flying cars because this is the only future I need.

Self-driving ride services are especially useful in Phoenix because an unfortunate amount of Phoenix rideshare drivers tend to be a special breed of conservative trash who love to use the opportunity to spout their hate while you're trapped in their car. I'll take my chances with the robot driver over that, any day.

I don’t know why people are saying I retaliated when I didn't even taliate in the first place.

If you didn't want me to eat the entire bag of chips, you shouldn't have packaged them in a bag the size of a pillow case.

This is very hard to write, but I have a confession to make.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been catfishing everyone with my profile pic because I am not actually an anthropomorphic hotdog.

Please respect my privacy in this sensitive and challenging time.

If you ever have trouble remembering the spelling of peak vs. peek:

PeAk has an A like the peak of a mountain.

Peek has two "e"s like two eyeballs peeking at you.

I’m kind of bummed that my presence on Mastodon hasn't landed me a job, like so what if I don't have the education or experience or "don't even meet any of the minimum requirements" because every company needs at least one personality hire, right?

In case you’re wondering what it’s like to work with me, a coworker just reminded me about the photos I submitted to my company’s Pride collage last year.

@resistenza_non_binaria It's 66 degrees Fahrenheit. In its defense, that's the temperature at 5am and it's supposed to get up into the 90s later today. I just think it looks funny since Oakland hovers around 60 year-round and it's like "oh no wait 66 is a bit too hot for us!"

Oh, Oakland. You are so dramatic.

Every DIY hack:

Why spend money at the store when you can make it yourself and spend twice as much money on materials and ten times as much time assembling AND end up with an inferior product?!?

Wait! Does "deluxe" mean from Luxembourg?!? Looking for someone who speaks Luxembourgian because I’m too lazy to bing it.