Notices by Deniz Opal (selzero@syzito.xyz)

@curmudgeonaf I'm not an American.

This picture has just given you hepatitis C.

@fkamiah17 👏👏👏

@Kierkegaanks I'm not diagnosed with anything and don't take medication. I am just out here raw dogging life like a sociopath.

@catarinac if I am not holding my little finger up when carrying it to my mouth, I get 40 lashings and 3 nights in a cell in the Tower of London.

Coffee and biscuits ♥️

Contrary to popular belief, late cups of coffee don't impact my sleep.

You know what does impact my sleep though?

The slow march of fascism cheered on by hordes of uneducated deplorables, like eager Turkeys pinning for Christmas.

Anyway (sips coffee)

@Nickiquote and Pele combined!

Everyone is bigging up the (now late) great Dennis Law, for me, a rare example of a namesake I could look up to. As you would imagine growing up with EastEnders wasn't great for a Den.

However, I would just like to point out that I have the same number of career Premiership games, goals, and assists as Dennis Law. And I would like a similar sending off when the time comes.

@phi1997 I'm always up for trying, where is the whisky

@Robbe_Duesseldorf yup!

@enthraxxx I drink and I know things.

8 years ago I won a Nintendo Switch because I know my whisky.

@curmudgeonaf is that the sleeping bag you managed to buy because you didn't have to declare bankruptcy?

@paul 😔

After the banning of Tiktok Americans have taken to full on Chinese social media app Rednote, where the meeting of cultures is undoing decades of propaganda.

"They tell us your government makes you work from 4 years old!"

"Haha oh that's hilarious, our government tells us you guys even have to pay to get an ambulance!!"

"Yeah... Haha... Funny"

"After Brexit the hospital wait times will get shorter"

Hahahahahaha

HahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahaha

HahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahaha

Wait wait wait I'm out of breath.

HahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahahaHahahahahaha

@helenclayton it's "not getting out from under this duvet" cold in Cambridge.

@mighty_orbot @rootfake .... Thhhiissss year, to save him from teearsss....

You think just because the Earth has completed a cycle around the sun from an arbitrary position to another arbitrary position that Diems no longer need Carpeing?

Hell no!

Get out of bed!

Get TF up and #CarpeTheHellOutOfThisMFingDiem #AltTextIsAnArtform

@MsDropbear42 would be in brand