Notices by LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party)

ONE DAY, THE LLM YOU USE TO FAKE IT AT WORK WILL SPIT OUT RANDOM ALL-CAPS OR REFERENCES TO THE GLORIOUS CONQUEST OF GLIESE-581C, AND YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM THERE WITH YOU.

WRITING SONGS ABOUT GIANT SPACE LIZARDS TERRORIZING NEW YORK BECAUSE I'M THE SPIRITUAL SUCCESSOR TO WARREN ZEVON.

@perigrin @WuMargaret @jimbush @genehack

MY NEXT CAMPAIGN'S BUMPER STICKER IS JUST GONNA BE MY SILHOUETTE WITH THE WORD "SOON."

SEEING HOW THE JERKOFFS WHO RUN AMERICA SEEM SO EAGER TO THROW TRANS PEOPLE INTO THE WOODCHIPPER, I HAVE FOUND THE HILL I* WILL DIE ON:

WHENEVER MOOSE COP IS OFF DUTY, HE'S DOING STUFF LIKE THIS.

BILLY CORGAN LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL OF SPICE PRODUCTION.

SHE'S COMING. MARIAH CAREY IS COMING. AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS:

ARGH FUCKING SHIT.

ALT TEXT: A GLASS FULL OF WATER INDICATES THAT SOMETHING *BIG* IS STOMPING CLOSER.

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO PUT ON BODY ARMOR AND FIGHT A CANADA GOOSE.

AMERICANS SAY I'M ARBITRARY AND DANGEROUS AND THEN LET A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND OF THE DUMBEST, LEAST INFORMED PEOPLE IN LIKE SEVEN STATES PICK THEIR RULER.

UNDECIDED VOTERS ARE THE LEAST INTERESTING, MOST COLOSSALLY SUBMORONIC HOUSEPLANT/WET ROCK/BATH MAT STUPID PEOPLE IN A COUNTRY THAT CHOSE TO HAVE TWO DAKOTAS. AND IF YOU DON'T IMPRESS THEM, YOU LOSE.

"HER PLAN INVOLVES AN INCENTIVE THAT MILTON FRIEDMAN WOULDN'T LIKE. HIS PLAN INVOLVES REENACTING THE TRAIL OF TEARS AND HAVING PRICES JUST BE LOWER FOR SOME REASON."

SO MUCH SOOTHSAYING, SO LITTLE SOOTHLISTENING.

A HUMPBACK WHALE WITH "THIS MACHINE KRILLS FASCISTS" TATTOOED ON ITS BELLY.

EVERY ANECDOTE REPUBLICANS USE TO TRY TO SMEAR TIM WALZ MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A NICKELODEON SITCOM DAD.

I SHOULD TOTALLY OPTION A THREE-CAMERA FAMILY SITCOM SET IN THE NAVAL OBSERVATORY.

I FIGURE I CAN WRING A COUPLE POINTS ON GROSS OUT OF "OFF THE WALZ" FOR A SEASON OR TWO UNTIL THE SCHTICK GETS OLD.

I LOVE RAY GUNS. BUT DO I TAKE MY FAMILY WUV DAY PHOTOS WITH MY RAY GUNS? NO. WHY? BECAUSE MY PERSONALITY ISN'T CONTINGENT ON PASSING A BACKGROUND CHECK.

@nuclearidini I DON'T TRUST THE TELEPORTER PARTS I CAN GET ON EARTH. THE SOVIET MARKINGS DO NOT INSPIRE CONFIDENCE.

I AM FLYING TO BOSTON. A GUY JUST BOOED THE PRE-FLIGHT DEMONSTRATION. THIS IS GONNA BE OKAY.