Notices by LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party)

YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK! WHICH IS A SHAME, BECAUSE HUNTING YOU FOR SPORT AND EATING YOU HAS SUSTAINED ME FOR YEARS.

@HG DOESN'T LIKE ME CALLING HIM MY "WEE SLEEKIT TIMROUS COWERIN' BESTIE." PHILISTINE.

@RamenCatholic

ALTHOUGH I AM AVAILABLE TO UPCYCLE THE PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT AROUND, THIS IS PROBABLY A MORE HUMANE SOLUTION.

IF THEY'RE *NOT* CALLED EAR BUDS BECAUSE OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

I WOULD LIKE TO PERSONALLY CONGRATULATE INFECTIOUS DISEASES ON THEIR GLORIOUS VICTORY.

@RamenCatholic @HG

I JUST DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO BE UPSET. SOUNDS LIKE YOU MADE YOURSELF MAD. I HAVEN'T SEEN A HALLMARK CARD FOR THAT ONE.

@RamenCatholic @HG

THIS IS 100% A YOU PROBLEM.

@RufusJCooter @msbellows @kelson @steter @ai6yr

HE'S NOT EVEN FIT TO WEAR ZAPP'S VELOUR. AND THAT'S SAYING A LOT.

14 HOURS INTO THE CONQUEST OF OHIO AND THERE HAS BEEN EXACTLY ZERO RESISTANCE. I HAVE LIQUIDATED LAKEWOOD AND BURNED BRECKSVILLE, BUT EVERYONE IS ALL "THANK GOD!" AND "FINALLY" WHEN MY GIANT WALKING EYE STARTS TURNING THEM INTO CARBON.

THE INTERNET IS A BIG PLACE, AND OFFICIOUS INTERMEDDLERS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES IN EVERY PART OF IT --EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR MY MENTIONS.

HONESTLY, IT'S 2025. HOW HAS ANYONE NOT FIGURED OUT THAT CAPS LOCK IS A THING?

I HAD SOME DIPSHIT EXPLAIN TO ME THAT TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED AGGRESSIVE. AND HE BLOCKED ME BEFORE I COULD FIX HIS LOCATION WITH MY LASER.

I KNOW IT'S AGGRESSIVE! IT'S WHY I DO IT!

GOD... DAMN IT, I NEED TO EAT SOMEBODY.

TO QUOTE MY PAL BENDER, MAYBE BLASTING THIS QUADRANT OF SPACE INTO A HELLSTORM OF FLAMING NOTHINGNESS WILL CHEER ME UP A LITTLE.

@cgsines

I'M DISAPPOINTED IN ME, TOO. I FAIL AT EVERYTHING I TRY.

@cgsines

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I SHOULD BE SITTING ON THE SKULL THRONE, OVERLOOKING A BEACH, EATING TACOS FULL OF EWOK MEAT AND DRINKING A LRRRGARITA.

HA HA HA. WE DO THE SAME THING:

REALIZE THAT ME BEING AN ALLY CUTS BOTH WAYS. WHEN LITTLE GREEN MEN START ASKING ABOUT THE BAD STUFF I DID, I EXPECT MATERIAL ASSISTANCE.

ONE OF THE RARE DOWNSIDES TO NOT INTERACTING WITH TWITTER IS MISSING OUT ON THE CURRENT ROUND OF VICIOUS INFIGHTING BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO I THINK SHOULD BE MULCHED, COMPOSTED, AND USED FOR GARDENING.

THE SMOKE SIGNALS SEEM TO SUGGEST THAT THE ELONITES AND MAGA HAVE REMEMBERED THAT THEY HATE EACH OTHER, AND THEY'RE COMING TO BLOWS OVER IT. I HOPE THEY ALL LOSE.

I WANT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS: THE UNQUESTIONING RELIGIOUS LOYALTY OF A BRONZE AGE SOCIETY AND THE ABSOLUTE POWER TO VISIT HORRORS UPON THEM IF I'M SAD.