Notices by LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party)

HA HA HA. WE DO THE SAME THING:

REALIZE THAT ME BEING AN ALLY CUTS BOTH WAYS. WHEN LITTLE GREEN MEN START ASKING ABOUT THE BAD STUFF I DID, I EXPECT MATERIAL ASSISTANCE.

ONE OF THE RARE DOWNSIDES TO NOT INTERACTING WITH TWITTER IS MISSING OUT ON THE CURRENT ROUND OF VICIOUS INFIGHTING BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO I THINK SHOULD BE MULCHED, COMPOSTED, AND USED FOR GARDENING.

THE SMOKE SIGNALS SEEM TO SUGGEST THAT THE ELONITES AND MAGA HAVE REMEMBERED THAT THEY HATE EACH OTHER, AND THEY'RE COMING TO BLOWS OVER IT. I HOPE THEY ALL LOSE.

I WANT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS: THE UNQUESTIONING RELIGIOUS LOYALTY OF A BRONZE AGE SOCIETY AND THE ABSOLUTE POWER TO VISIT HORRORS UPON THEM IF I'M SAD.

GET IN, LOSER. WE'RE CANONIZING A FOLK HERO.

I'M GLAD THE HAWK TUAH GIRL ROBBED A BUNCH OF BOZOS THEN VANISHED. BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME, IMO.

GOING HUNTING AT THE MALL. I HAVE MY 8XL SANTA SUIT AND EVERYTHING.

"IT IS I, SANTA, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI... NORTH POLE!" DAMN IT. SHIT. THESE KIDS LOOK SUSPICIOUS.

STOP STRUGGLING AND TELL ME WHAT SEASONINGS YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

IGNORE THE STENCH. THAT'S, UH, ELF... SMELL. ELF SMELL. YEAH. IT'S A CHRISTMAS THING. COME CLOSER.

"PEACE ON EARTH?" LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT. PEACE IS THE ABSENCE OF CONFLICT AND CONFLICT IS THE ESSENCE OF EXISTENCE. WHO RAISED YOU? WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS? I'M SENDING YOU BACK.

ON BRAND:

I LIKE HOW EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S TIMOTHEE CHALAMET BUT REFUSES TO SAY ANYTHING.

OH WOW THAT GUY WHO GOT RICH OF DIRECTLY CAUSING HUMAN MISERY GOT SHOT TO DEATH ANYWAY HERE'S A LINK FOR NO REASON:

https://fija.org/library-and-resources/library/jury-nullification-faq/how-do-i-conscientiously-acquit.html

YOU KNOW, THE ONE SINGLE SOLITARY GUY YOU ALLOWED TO GROW FAT AS A FED TICK AS THE MIDDLEMAN BETWEEN SICK PEOPLE AND THEIR MEDICINE. I...

OH, YOU HAVE A WHOLE INDUSTRY FOR THAT? AND THAT'S JUST ALLOWED TO HAPPEN?

@falcennial

MY ADVICE, WHICH YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR, IS TO LEAVE. NO GOOD CAN COME FROM THIS.

FAILING THAT, TRY TO AMUSE YOURSELF. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN GO TO HELL.

THIS YEAR, I AM THANKFUL FOR THE TERRIFIED HOGTIED MAN TAKING PRIDE OF PLACE ON MY TABLE. I'M EQUALLY THANKFUL FOR THE APPLE THAT I WEDGED SO FAR INTO HIS MOUTH THAT HE CAN'T BEG FOR HIS LIFE ANYMORE.

I SHOULD GO BACK TO DOING STAND UP.

EVER NOTICE HOW WHEN HUMANS EAT FOOD, THEY'RE ALL "I LIKE THE UMAMI FLAVOR" AND "IS THERE A LOW-CARB OPTION," AND OMICRONIANS ARE ALL LIKE "NOBODY CRY! FACE YOUR DOOM!"