Notices by LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party), page 2

IF YOU HAVE TO ASK HOW MUCH A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE COSTS, YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE.

I HATE WEDDINGS. NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO GIVE A TOAST, NOBODY PAYS ENOUGH ATTENTION TO ME, AND THEY RARELY ACCOMMODATE MY DIETARY PREFERENCES.

I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN A SINGLE ROLE. LIKE, SURE, I'M AN INTERGALACTIC WARLORD WHO DESTROYS FOR FUN, BUT I ALSO WANT TO HOLD MY WIFE'S WEBBED HAND ON A MOONLIT WALK AND WEAVE FLOWERS INTO A CAPE FOR MY SON.

NOW THAT EVERYONE HAS HAD A NAP AND A SNACK, WE ARE ALL READY TO BE POLITE, CHARITABLE, AND CONSTRUCTIVE ON THE INTERNET.

I AM GOING TO PUT A VIRTUAL HUG OFFER ON THE TABLE FOR ANYONE WHOSE DAD DID NOT GIVE THEM THE LOVE AND SUPPORT THEY DESERVE. I AM VERY FATHERLY.

PEOPLE SAY "LRRR, DON'T BUILD YOUR GIANT LASER AND ENSLAVE HUMANITY." BUT I DON'T SEE ANYONE ELSE TAKING MATTERS INTO THEIR OWN HANDS!

THE TIRESOME UNWIPED BUTTCRACKERY EMBODIED IN THE CURRENT A.I. MANIA RAISES IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, LIKE "WHY SHOULD WE NOT JUST DROWN ITS LOUDEST BILLIONAIRE PROPONENTS IN TOILET WATER?" AND "HOW MUCH ECOLOGICALLY DESTRUCTIVE SOLUTIONISM SHOULD SOCIETY ACCEPT BEFORE RESORTING TO CANNIBALISM?"

WALKING OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE WITH MY MASK ON, AND AN OLD MAN WALKING PAST ME SAYS "AINTCHA HEARD? WAR'S OVER. WE FUCKIN' LOST." THEN HE PUT ON HIS MASK AND WENT INSIDE.

IT HAS BEEN HARD TO REBOOT MY BAND, LRRR AND THE OMICRON PERSEI 8. MY RHYTHM SECTION KEEPS DYING.

I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT THERE WASN'T ANY FOOT IN THAT FOOT CREAM.

ADDING "BEFORE:2023" TO GOOGLE SEARCHES MAKES IT FEEL LIKE YOU'VE TRAVELED BACK IN TIME TO WHEN THE INTERNET WORKED.

MY DAD, DDDD, IS IN TOWN. HE'S BEEN VERY CRITICAL OF MY DECISION TO NOT IMMEDIATELY VAPORIZE YOU ALL, HE COMPLAINS ABOUT HIS GOUT, AND HE CALLS HUMAN GHOSTWRITER "PORK CHOP." HE IS A GREAT OMICRONIAN.

LIVING YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND DYING ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT YOU WERE IN A RITUAL ORACULAR TRANCE AND NOW EVERYONE IN YOUR VILLAGE WANTS TO INTERROGATE YOU ABOUT THE WORLD TO COME.

@SkipHuffman OOC: To be mentioned in the same breath as peak Colbert is the highest honor. 🇧🇧 Thank you.

@mivox OOC: I also joked about using the laser to kill God to free the galaxy from guilt and sin, which struck me as more of a Catholic problem. And Catholicism did enough to me that I'm pretty happy with killing its god. Maybe that's it. But I assumed that the objection was based on MTG and her actually anti-semitic Jewish Space Laser conspiracy.

Ooc: Human Ghostwriter here. When I joke around as Lrrr, I ask myself, "whose feelings might this joke hurt?" If the answer is people who reflexively hate all caps or loosely Futurama-inspired jokes from the perspective of a minor villain, people who think joking about killing and eating people is bad, or right-wingers, I joke even harder. But sometimes, my conscience creeps in. [EDIT for clarity: I do not aim to punch down. The joy of playing as an alien heel is that I can be readily dismissive of and openly hostile to the privileges that make life so intolerably unfair. Oh, you have laws and needs and bones? Tough. I want a laser and I will eat whoever I need to until I get my laser]. Lrrr making a mutual aid request for $2 trillion is so absurd that I couldn't conceive of it as punching down. It simultaneously makes fun of the bad people who abuse mutual aid requests and the military-industrial complex while making Lrrr look like a ridiculous idiot who doesn't understand how human things work. And, he gets to tease the joys of wild impossible science fiction nonsense. It's great.

Some people disagreed. Upon some reflection, I broke the hashtag to mutual aid. The people who care about it *really* care. If it works for them, fine. I'll get out of the sandbox. I am not here to poke fun of mutual aid itself. I don't think I did, but if we're having that debate I'm already not having any fun.

Others decided that this was textbook anti-semitism. From what textbook, I don't know. The closest I can figure is that some people have decided that Marge Greene ruined lasers forever for everyone. Respectfully, as a lover of the aesthetics of science fiction and loather of everything that the congresswoman from Georgia has ever done or been associated with, MTG does not get to take lasers away from all of us for all purposes forever. I do not credit this criticism, as I consider it unmoored from reality.

So, who does advocating for $2 trillion to build a laser capable of blowing up the moon, Mercury, and Gliese-581C hurt?

- anyone who lives within 100 miles of the laser construction site. If you live in Northeast Ohio, go ahead and get mad.
- Surfers. That's fair. Not having a moon would directly impact your deal.
- Buzz Aldrin. He's allowed to kill me over this. I can live with that.
- Werewolves, although I feel like blowing up the moon would free them from a terrible curse and ultimately inure to their benefit.
- Mooninites, pretty obviously. I will deal with Err and Ignignokt.
- people who are really into astrology. If this annoys you, I will learn to live with myself
- I understand that Mercury going into retrograde plays some role as a moose in Cree mythology. That's objectively cool, and I had forgotten about that. Don't worry, I don't think we're actually gonna get funding.
- the filthy barbarian monsters who stand for everything we hate and against everything we love on Gliese-581C. At least, Lrrr tells me that's what they're like.

Having gone through this process, I still feel pretty good about the concept. If you think I got it wrong, you may disagree with a stranger on the internet.

HAHA! JOE LIEBERMAN! DEATH IS ON A ROLL!

@VoxofGod @evanpeterjones

BEFORE THIS GETS REALLY NOT CONSTRUCTIVE OR EDIFYING:

LIEBERMAN SINGLE-HANDEDLY KILLED THE PUBLIC OPTION IN THE ACA, LOUDLY AMPLIFIED LIES ABOUT WMDS IN THE LEAD UP TO THE IRAQ WAR, HE BROKE WITH DEMS TO LIMIT PUNITIVE DAMAGES AWARDS IN PRODUCTS LIABILITY CASES AND SERIOUSLY LIMIT THE AVAILABILITY OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS, CHAMPIONED THE DEATH PENALTY, SUPPORTED NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND, AND THREATENED TO QUIT THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY IF IT TRIED TO LIMIT THE WAR IN IRAQ (WHICH WOULD HAVE MADE CHENEY THE TIEBREAKING VOTE IN THE SENATE).

@hakan_geijer UGH. FUCK YOU. BLOCKED.

@hakan_geijer LET'S TAKE A FUNNY MEME AND BE A DRIP ABOUT IT.