Notices by Staff Chief of Joints (the_etrain@beige.party)

Give a man a fish and he'll probably cook it in the break room microwave.

feed the ducks at the park against the machine

@ATLeagle
I'm not going to rob you of the privilege of googling "Olympics penis injection".

Two athletes were disqualified for using banned wax and I can't automatically assume they used it on their skis because of the whole penis injection thing.

What if the real treasure is the thousands of emails I've ignored over the past 20 years?

I would like to return the unused portion of 2026 for a full refund, please.

Family dinner thread. We'll see where this goes. I will say, I haven't see this much flannel since 1993.

The 80s. So much steroids. So homoerotic.

These AI slop "articles" that come up in search engine results are like reading a college freshman term paper written by a student who only attended the first day of class and they weren't really too bright to begin with.

How can I freeze my ass off? Shouldn't it be frozen on?

Too old for this shit. Not old enough for that shit. Gimme some of that middle age shit. Kickin' ass until about 8pm type shit.

Having kids is like, what if it was a constant fucking free-for-all around here? And you get to pay for all of it.

Sent my boss a Word document and he called me on the phone to confirm this is something we could make changes to.

The hills have eyes. The mountains have ears. That valley? It's got a sweet ass.

I wonder if there's a Japanese word for the loneliness you feel when you don't have any packages left to track.

2026 is gonna be lit, in the sense that a lot of things will be completely engulfed in flames before it's all over.

I'd like to be rewilded now, thank you. Just anywhere in the middle of the woods will be fine.

I just goolgled "ejection pants" and the AI result said, that's not a common term, but this is what it probably means, even though "ejection pants" is just some nonsense that popped into my head.

Then, it occurred to me, every AI result is "this is what it probably means" because it has no fucking idea what ANYTHING means.

If they start putting AI in TVs I'm gonna lose my shit. *googles that* Oh fuck me, here we go.

No, YOUR session has timed out!!!