Notices by Staff Chief of Joints (the_etrain@beige.party)

You know which links don't come with the risk of malware? Sausage.

Not even 10am, and I'm already like, fuck this shit.

I pretend the Fediverse is a Tamagotchi and I feed and care for it with my stupidest thoughts.

Come on over! We'll have a beige ol' time!

If you unfollow me, 2 more perverts will take your place.

Thank you for calling Mastodon! If you are calling because you recently joined Mastodon, and have not received your free cat, please be aware that our cat shipping department is experiencing an unprecedented backlog.

We're rationing eggs when we should be rationing bullshit.

Have we met? Name's Bill Chunder, professional tilt-a-whirl operator.

It's like living in a neutron star of cluster fucks.

It's like fighting your way through a dense, rich cheesecake of cluster fucks.

My therapist is trying to talk me into doing open mics at comedy clubs and I really need to fire that guy.

I'm kidding of course. I like my therapist. Good guy. I hope he enjoys my money.

Me: *peeks through blinds* Sure looks stupid out there! *sips coffee*

I want it to snow 1 inch or 6 feet. Nothing in between.

Pennies are gonna be like Bitcoin, man. Get in now.

I'm going back to communicating with coded pager messages. Train your AI on that!

:eagles: GO BIRDS! :eagles:

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be techbros.

Could go for a big basket of deep fried mental health right now.

I may not know my ass from a hole in the ground, but I know a billionaire in a bunker is an asshole in the ground.