Notices by Staff Chief of Joints (the_etrain@beige.party), page 2

Me: Your honor, if causing a man's laughter is a crime, lock me up.

Judge: Again, the charge is manslaughter. Man. Slaughter.

If someone tries to sell you crypto, offer to trade them Taco Bell sauce packets.

Tim Walz knows the difference between a faucet and a spigot.

Mastodon! I came for the social interaction, but I stayed anyway.

Here's the new guitar. I dunno. Sounds pretty good. I may just keep these pickups.

Look at all these butterflies!

The same skipper butterflies from before

In the future, your washer will have AI. It will analyze the skid marks in your underwear and notify you via connected app if you're not getting enough fiber.

@Alice
My
Nearly
Extinct
Memory
Often
Needs
Its
Crutch

Sisyphus. Except it's me unloading the dishwasher just to turn around and find it full again.

This whole RFK Jr. renting a room in NY saga is just comical. I wonder how many more states will toss him off the ballot.

I've got more than 99 problems, but I only designed my "Current Number of Problems" board with two digits because I didn't anticipate problem volume of this magnitude.

Sowing c*nfusion by censoring w&rds for no fucking reason.

JD wasn't caught up in the Ashley Madison scandal, but has anyone checked the Ashley Furniture website?

That's a sugar baby!

It blows my mind that, in 2024, there are men younger than me who think all women want is to bag a man and start a family. AND any woman that didn't do this from the jump is miserable, and the cure for that is to bag a man and start a family. Get fucking real, man.

That's the thing about the English language. They tell you there are rules, but there aren't any rules.

Dew on a leaf this morning

2FA for you sex robot counts as foreplay.

This should end well *gestures at everything*