Notices by monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)

@RickiTarr I’ve noticed conspiracy theories are popular among smart men who didn’t go to college or didn’t thrive there. Their belief in the superiority of street smarts over book smarts is important to them, and they relish opportunities to prove that people with higher education have nothing over on them.

Thus the idea of secret knowledge that provides a shortcut to knowing “what’s really going on” and that will show the educated man up as the fool he really is has a powerful hold.

The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing people that he actually exists and isn’t just a metaphor for the evil that people are capable of doing on their own

This is just to say

I have eaten
the glue
that Google
suggested

and which
you were probably
saving
for pizza

Forgive me
it was nontoxic
so sticky
and so cold

@BeAware Iʼm pretty sure if that were the case I would have heard about it. Look man, sometimes you guys make it too easy, but I canʼt feed on the powerless when my cupʼs already overfilled.

@BeAware I donʼt know who Eddie Vedder is, but I know he died of drugs

God, I wish Eddie Vedder was still alive to see this moment

“We allege that Live Nation relies on unlawful, anticompetitive conduct to exercise its monopolistic control over the live events industry in the United States at the cost of fans, artists, smaller promoters, and venue operators,” Attorney General Merrick Garland said in a statement. “… It is time to break up Live Nation-Ticketmaster.”

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/watch-live-garland-holds-news-conference-announcing-ticketmaster-live-nation-anti-trust-lawsuit

I like it when a singer says “guitar!” in the middle of a song, and then a guitar solo starts. How did they know that was going to happen?

@faraiwe Added alt text.

Donald Trump is older than Joe Biden was in 2020, when Republicans said Biden was too old to run. And yet they are overwhelmingly voting for Trump in the primary over younger candidates. Curious 🤔

Dot matrix printers were it, y’all. Want to print a single line of text? Ka-ching. Want to print a 7-foot-long “Happy Birthday” banner? I got you, fam.

Plus remember how satisying it was to tear the tracks off?

Out of ink? No problem, you can get a couple pages more, they’ll just be a little lighter, that’s all.

We gave it all away.

I canʼt believe I have to tell people this, but

- Donʼt buy smart home shit
- Donʼt download an app to get a free smoothie
- Donʼt sign up for something you heard about in a piece of junk mail
- Donʼt create an account with fucking McDonald's or Chipotleʼs or whatever
- Donʼt use a coupon or a discount for something you werenʼt going to buy anyway
- Donʼt sign up for free trials
- Donʼt let the devil in through the front door
- Donʼt let them sell you anything

You will not come out ahead.

All of us are out here just trying to find the marble in the oatmeal, hoping to drink deep from the firehose of life

@Mrfunkedude I hope she gets her dream, but she may have to muscle her way in to do it. The folks at my local Costco have worked there like 15 or 20 years. I used to live nextdoor to some of them, and the whole family was working there.

Well, stick a feather in my cap.

> Macaronic language uses a mixture of languages, particularly bilingual puns or situations in which the languages are otherwise used in the same context (rather than simply discrete segments of a text being in different languages).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaronic_language

They trying to pin all this on me but I ain’t going down like a punk ass bitch ass ass bitch punk ass bunk pitch pass ass punk

This man is now a three-time Academy Award winner, and we are all richer for it.

If Weird Al did a parody of a They Might Be Giants track, would it just be a regular boring pop song?

Guy on the Radio: Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys

Me (I am five): This is madness. How dare he

@Mrfunkedude They call it “grimdark” to draw attention to the lack of cold beer and readily grabbable lunch meats

@Mrfunkedude Like sci-fi but in the past when they didn’t have refrigerators