Notices by Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)

Example #3,420,069 of why the #Fediverse is a magical place, where people help other people just because it's good (and sometimes even fun!) to help people:

https://kolektiva.social/@joaopinheiro/117106083109795086

FINAL UPDATE (for this fundraiser): We just shot past the finish line. Not only do we now have a functional, legal car, we have rent, we have enough to make the auto insurance payment for said car and the electric bill to boot!!!!!!!

My dear Fedi friends, thank you so very much for bearing with us as we strive to someday get our shit together. We are incredibly grateful. ❤️

UPDATE: We're two days from deadline, and we're getting very close to making goal, along with the anxiety-ridden executive paralysis. I would love it if we could get it covered by tomorrow so that if anything goes wrong with the second attempt at an emissions test on the car, I can have something *good* with which to distract myself.

I must admit sadly the current total isn't completely accurate because I had to use some of the funds to pay for the emissions test, gas to drive the car far enough for the emissions test to actually work (hopefully this time!!🤞) and food. I *think* my pay advance tomorrow will be enough to make up for the borrowed funds.

I am incredibly grateful to all of our Fedi friends who've pitched in. I'm thrilled that we've had a few more smaller donations than usual, because that eases the burden on the handful of insanely generous people who have shouldered the bulk of our needs!

I'm telling you folks, #MutualAid is literally the only reason my partner, our border collie and I are clothed, fed, and sheltered. I am not kidding when I say that it saves lives.

Gotta drive to work. Cross your fingers that I get there and back without being pulled over or the check engine light popping on!

============================================

Hi everyone,

For those of you who haven't followed my soap opera-like existence here on the Fediwebs, my partner, our co-dependent border collie and I have unfortunately had to rely on the community here to survive, thanks to our chronic mental health challenges.

I've also made several expensive financial mistakes lately trying to prioritize which of our ongoing monetary crises; the most simple of which is I felt embarrassed fundraising non-stop and procrastinated too long, costing us steep, unnecessary fees.

The total amount of the aforementioned fees was a bit of a slap in the face that seems to have finally gotten through my thick head.

So.. we owe $1210 at the time of this writing which is due by August 14th and instead of waiting until the last moment, for once I am being proactive and starting this right away.

My sincere apologies that we've had to constantly begpost lately.

My plan is to try and raise this as soon as possible and then move immediately to working on September's total and have that in place *before* the end of the month.

By that point, we're hoping and praying that my partner will have new employment by then that doesn't constantly trigger his PTSD, and/or I find a second job.. or potentially go back to school. Or something. (Onlyfans maybe? lol) Because things are clearly not fucking working as they are currently.

I know many (most) of you are understandably sick and tired of seeing our begposts. My friends, please don't give up on us yet. I swear we're trying our best, meager as those efforts may be.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

Mental note: do not chug a 15oz high-fiber juice smoothie immediately before departing on an 75 minute bus trip with three transfers

Ya know.. on second thought maybe I'll just go ahead and wait til a bit later to spend over an hour walking and transferring between three different buses..

UPDATE (already lol):

My partner insists that it might be insulting to the person who lent us money, to directly fundraise on their behalf because they told my partner to keep it when they sent it. I'm not sure I entirely agree with my partner about this, but I'm deferring to his judgement and closing the prior fundraiser.

So to the incredibly kind soul who sent us that money, I will do as you ask, but on the proviso that you *MUST* let me if you encounter the slightest problem because of this, so that we can rally the Fediverse to come to your aid. I do *not* want to see others suffering because of my foolishness.

Thank you to that person, and every other person who has helped us. We couldn't make it without you. ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

============================================

Hello again folks,

Please forgive the audacity of me requesting even more help before we've even completely finished the four-figure auto repair fundraiser.

I screwed up.

I've gotten us in over our heads with a very serious bind. I need to return the funds lent to us for the car before we can even start focusing on rent, so that I don't cause a kind friend from here on the #Fediverse to be in danger.

S̶o̶.. u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ *̶t̶h̶a̶t̶*̶ d̶e̶b̶t̶ i̶s̶ t̶a̶k̶e̶n̶ c̶a̶r̶e̶ o̶f̶, t̶h̶i̶s̶ w̶i̶l̶l̶ s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ a̶s̶ a̶ p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶h̶o̶l̶d̶e̶r̶. A̶n̶y̶ f̶u̶n̶d̶s̶ w̶e̶ r̶e̶c̶e̶i̶v̶e̶ w̶i̶l̶l̶ b̶e̶ a̶p̶p̶l̶i̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ *̶t̶h̶a̶t̶*̶ b̶e̶g̶p̶o̶s̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ o̶u̶r̶ c̶a̶r̶, s̶o̶ p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ b̶e̶ a̶l̶a̶r̶m̶e̶d̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ d̶o̶ d̶o̶n̶a̶t̶e̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ p̶o̶s̶t̶ b̶u̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ C̶W̶ c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶e̶r̶ d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'t̶ r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶c̶t̶ i̶t̶ -̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ v̶i̶s̶i̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ f̶u̶n̶d̶r̶a̶i̶s̶e̶r̶ p̶i̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ p̶o̶s̶t̶, y̶o̶u̶'l̶l̶ s̶e̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ u̶p̶d̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶s̶.

I apologize for having to do this so many times and for such huge amounts. I swear I'm trying my damnedest to not let everyone down.

There. The previous paragraph is the most I'm going to allow myself to self-deprecate in this post, despite me probably looking like a looney toons character that's about to explode, by restraining my own criticism.

Whelp.. I need to wrap this up so I can go pick up the car; that at least gives us an option if things go south regarding rent.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

Faster people, post faster!! I need something to occupy my mind please

It's taking every last ounce of willpower I can summon to escape my depression and executive paralysis long enough to even type this. Believe it or not, this post is far *less* self-deprecating than what I would really *like* to say.

*deep breath*

Hi Folks,

Evidently I'm just not capable of being an adult. Instead of addressing crises promptly, I wait until they burst into a gargantuan bonfire. It's not an ideal habit.

I've known that I've needed to get this car fixed for months now. I've gotten three temporary extension permits and now have no recourse but to get the car to the shop *tomorrow* or it'll be a sitting duck waiting for the parking enforcement tow trucks to spring into action, and that would cost hundreds of dollars to bail my car out of jail.

While I've considered going car-free, we live in an area where having ones own vehicle is sort of a necessity.

Wtaf is wrong with me that I would think it acceptable to wait until the last twenty-four hours I'm legally able to move my car, to try and raise nearly two grand to fix said car?

🤦♂️ Why 🤦♂️ can't 🤦♂️ I 🤦♂️ get 🤦♂️ my 🤦♂️ shit 🤦♂️ together 🤦♂️ o 🤦♂️ m 🤦♂️ f 🤦♂️ g 🤦♂️

We have been in this apartment for eight months now and *still* can't manage to pay for rent without help, which I'm going to need to raise money for as soon as we finish *this* fundraiser. It's embarrassing that we still can't make it on our own.

*sigh*

I'm sorry.. I'm sort of at a loss for what else to say.

Mea culpa I guess.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

Huh. Well apparently I seriously need to brush up on my geography. I could've sworn that when I was growing up, Brazil dwarfed the U.S. in terms of population. But I just learned that Brazil actually trails USA by 122 million people.

I'm kind of stunned that I was under such a wildly mistaken impression.

Apparently I was the only person on the Fediverse who *liked* tags.pub and found it useful

I just went on a 4 mile, round-trip scooter ride just for the hell of it. Even in 90 degree weather. Just for fun.

I haven't done something like that with a non-electric, two-wheeled object in decades. DECADES.

Speaking of two-wheeled objects, despite great trepidation, my partner rode one for the first time in his life today. No one ever bothered to teach him to ride a bike growing up. I am so proud of him.

We're looking forward to going on rides together in the future with our safety gear protecting us even if we do probably look utterly ridiculous.

Thank you, dear friends of the #Fediverse for once again making our little family's life better.

Ah, 2026.. where I search for "split pea soup" on my employer's official app and I get 242 results.. not a single one of which is "split pea soup"

I seem to have tweaked my back by... napping for an hour. 🤦♂️

I have less than an hour before work, and I'm praying the ibuprofen kicks in soon.

The weird thing is, it's my right lower back this time; my lower back almost exclusively gets wacky on my left side.

Yay middle age..

Folks, I was walking our codependent border collie around our apartment complex tonight, enjoying the ambiance of a quaint, village-like atmosphere.

It reminded me that I really, really don't want to lose this apartment that you've all given us.. The problem is, I haven't yet landed a second job, and the hours at my current job have not been encouraging; my partner has also been getting less hours at his job as well.

We're behind on auto insurance, and I've got two days next week where I can try and get the car in somewhere to have them replace the canister purge valve, and we're beginning to run low on food.

So the time I've been dreading since the last time we did this has now arrived, and I must once again ask for your help. I've been dreading it because it's incredibly embarrassing to have to keep doing this and for the amounts we have to keep asking for.

The good news is we're starting this fundraiser with $135 thanks to a premature donation (unlike some things, I don't mind when that happens!), so we've already gotten the ball rolling as I post this.

It's scary because what if we don't make it? Each time I'm scared people will finally get fed up with us, or that they will fall into similar circumstances as us, as the world economy collapses thanks to.. well, you know, and then what happens? What do we do?

I repeat myself over and over with these fundraising posts because I feel compelled to try and explain myself; to try and prove that I'm asking for this help in earnest, that I'm trying my best even if it doesn't seem like it.

Why do I do this every time? I don't know. This is just how I'm wired, I guess. The thought of *not* infodumping with every fundraiser makes me feel queasy and anxious, I'm not kidding. I don't feel like I'm 'putting in the effort' if I don't word-vomit an essay.

Anyway, my mediocre writing skills are probably my greatest talent, so I suppose I also offer these long-winded begposts as a token of my crude artistic skill (can we even call writing "art"?) to show my friends here that I am grateful. This isn't AI, believe it or not.. this is all hand-crafted and original and shit! lol Hopefully it's at least mildly entertaining.

Maybe think of helping us as an investment for the public good because your support lets me fill the Fediverse with bullshit. "These #shitposts are brought to you by mental illness and by viewers like you!" (I may do more with that actually..)

So, my dear friends.. I think I just managed to get through an entire #begpost without being profusely apologetic and excessively self-deprecating. It feels extremely unsettling. I think it's giving me a headache.

Thank you all for your kindness, generosity, and rallying spirit; for your support and your patronage. We would literally be on the streets without you.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

Now, I can't speak with any authority about the Gaza and other international fundraisers. That's way beyond my level of expertise and folks like @aral are far better equipped to discuss it.

I'm no expert on this, or anything really. These are only my personal opinions.

My initial answer to the original question, honestly is.. you can't. (But as I've written this essay, my thinking has evolved a little.. stay tuned!)

For one thing, it depends on your definition of what is truly "in need"; my partner and I have had to raise staggering amounts of money. We had to begpost almost daily for an entire year because we were basically homeless and living in motels.

For example: A lot of people would consider my partner and I to be scammers or at least grifters for doing this - that we shouldn't be taking advantage of the community like this, that we should have pursued official charity resources - and this point of view isn't entirely unreasonable.

Of course the reality of our situation isn't quite that simple, being two mentally ill queers in a (delusionally) red state. Local charities are almost all religion-based, and applying for state or federal aid is (in my opinion) a neurodivergent nightmare.

Additionally, we don't have any real "proof" of financial need. We don't have a practical way for anyone to verify my partner's CPTSD being so severe that he was unable to work for two years.

I think it's up to the donor to decide whether they trust the person. If you've had lots of interaction with them, if you feel in your gut that they're legit, then I suggest just going for it. Yes, you're taking a chance giving money to a perfect stranger; but isn't it better to take that chance, than to risk letting someone slip through the cracks?

It's easy for me to say this having only been on the receiving end, but if I *did* have disposable income that I could share with others, this is the approach I would take.

Having said all this, as a person who fundraises often, it is important to also point out that you should still heed your intuition and instincts. If you feel that something is "off", don't do it. Even if the person begging is *me*. I believe it is absolutely crucial for there to be trust with regards to Mutual Aid.

So.. let me revise what I said earlier. I suppose maybe you *can* determine if they're legit or not, by whether you feel comfortable trusting them. Have you had interaction with them? Do you feel like their presence is good for the Fedi community? Do you feel like their presence on the Fedi is good for *you*?

If you can confidently answer "yes" to those three questions, then I suppose you have your answer.

Let me close by saying Mutual Aid on the Fedi has changed mine and my partner's lives. Almost every corporate online platform I've dealt with have received digital fundraising with anywhere from apathetic contempt to downright viciousness. We've encountered this a couple of times here but overall people have been absolutely phenomenal.

Please, let's do everything we can to keep it that way. It is soul-crushing to be attacked when you're already in need, and you could easily leave an indelible mark in their memory. Please, PLEASE try to continue to approach folks with empathy.

Thank you.

@Alice .. toe bags?? Is that where serial killers keep their victim's toes??

Hi Everyone,

*sigh* I wish I had better news. I haven't felt this discouraged in quite awhile.

My scheduled hours at work had started to climb back up to a reasonable level, but over the course of the next few weeks they rapidly descend. 28 hours (which became 22 hours when I had to drop a shift due to my slip and fall off my scooter coming home from work), 25 hours, 25 hours, and I just discovered the newest schedule was posted -- I'll be working 21 hours that week.

It seems quite evident that I need to either get a new job, or a second job to supplement the lost income.

If only I had the spoons to do so.

Despite working less hours, paradoxically I seem to feel *more* fatigued from work. It's absolutely maddening. Today is my fourth day off in a row, and I spent the vast majority of the last three days just.. sleeping.

A few weeks ago I felt a surge of energy that was heaven-sent; I started knocking tasks off my to-do list, trying to eat a little healthier, and I made a slow-cooker pork roast with veggies and even completely cleaned up after -- which I'm ashamed to admit might be the first time in my life that I've done so.

It was incredible.. I started to feel human again. It didn't feel like I was always wading through mud. For the first time in many years I considered possibly going back to school.

Sadly this brief lucidity drew to a close; now, both important and mundane tasks continue piling up and I'm forcing myself to write this instead of laying back down for another nap, illustrating the futility of pursuing higher education when I'm lucky if I can muster the will to shower more than once or twice per week.

I would sell my soul to feel human like that again. Chasing that feeling of clarity, I dramatically increased my fruit/vegetable intake. I started taking fish oil supplements.

But none of it worked. It was of such ineffectiveness that despite the dire urgency of paying rent, I'm just now writing this #begpost in the late afternoon of the first of the month. Yes, I'm aware of how stupid that is. I've been meaning to write it for days but I just couldn't muster the will to get it written until now.

Anyway.. I feel so many things right now. I feel like I've let my online benefactors down by not getting my shit together like I was supposed to; I'm afraid of having that same stomach-churning anxiety permanently associated with this apartment complex like it was with past residences when we were getting eviction notices and the employees all looked at us with pity; I'm furious with myself that our possession of this apartment that was so generously given to us is potentially in jeopardy and I'm still too fucking tired to really do anything about it.

I really thought we were starting to make a comeback but sadly it seems we've begun sliding towards homelessness instead of stability. Goddammit #MentalIllness is frustrating.

Forgive me dear friends, but it's once again time for me to plead for an obscene amount of #MutualAid. I don't want to potentially lose this incredible apartment that the community gifted us, and in observance of the sunk cost fallacy, I'm asking you to throw more money at us despite already having done so countless times.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty @mutualaid

Friends,

Here on the #Fediverse, now more than ever -- if you're willing and able -- we need you to share the things that lift you up and help you keep going.

If it sparks #joy, please, PLEASE share and continue sharing with the class in the coming weeks and months.

Is it #pretty, but you're lacking #spoons? Be sure to follow @altbot so you can still share it.

If it brings a #smile to your face, consider sharing it no matter how small.

If you chuckle at something in your daily life and tell yourself "oh that's so dumb, I better not post it", that's exactly when you SHOULD post it.

If you think of a #DadJoke that could win awards for being so corny, it is your fiduciary duty as a #Fedizen to attempt to make us all groan at your #silliness.

Some of my most popular toots were my most flippant #shitposts (in contrast to ones I've poured hours into crafting, that get a sympathy fav or two and then vanish into the ether..). It might feel awkward at first, but if you keep #shitposting it's like exercising muscles; it gets easier the more you do it. Consider exercising your big brain muscle and then barf the results here for all the world to see.

I know #hashtags aren't as big here, and a lot of people are against them but I find them invaluable. (I do wish we had a bot that auto-generated a reply to posts with socially/contemporarily relevant hashtags.) Consider adding a contribution to #3GoodThings, or tuck a silly #shitpost in a bottle and toss it into the great and fascinating sea called the Fediverse. You might be surprised who might find it interesting.

We need to flood the zone with #kindness and #happiness because I believe that's how we recharge our emotional reserves.

In doing so, it helps us fortify ourselves against the onslaught of stormy weather that is our real-life world. (Or at least that's how *I* usually do it. [I recommend augmenting with generous doses of cannabis as needed. {consult your doctor first}])

Having said all of this, it's important to remember we must strive to provide #empathy to our fellow passengers. For some of us, this is the closest we can get to #therapy. If people share their struggles and challenges, I implore all of us to remember that #kindness and understanding are radical acts of decency.

Above all, protect yourself by blocking "early and often". You aren't obligated to continue hosting a visitor on your digital "porch". You can simply close the door. You don't even need to have a reason. It's *your* fucking door and there's nothing that says you're required to buy what they're selling -- especially if it feels like negativity. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I've never blocked someone and later thought, "oh gee, I shouldn't have blocked them so fast." It's generally the opposite.

Alright, my friends. Today your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to brainstorm the corniest damned joke you can think of, and post it. Don't mull it over, don't worry about if it makes sense -- post it. Toot it. Bop it. Shake it. Twist it.

Bring forth the moments and shitposts you wish to see in the world, each one a candle that lights our way on this long journey we call life.

So if you think about it, a black hole is really just a gigantic Everything Bagel

"Thank you for being a loyal consumer of Air™. Unfortunately your payment did not go through and you will cease having access to Air™ within the next 4-6 hours. Our offices are currently closed. If you would like to restore access to your Air™ account, please use our automated chatbot. Upon payment, your Air™ services will be resumed within 48-72 hours except on weekends and national holidays. Once again, thank you for calling Air™. Goodbye.."

I'll bet the 1980s were a very awkward time for anyone with the last name "Feelgood" who dreamt of a career in medicine