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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Saturday, 25-Oct-2025 14:37:37 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   Hello Everyone,

   I'm sorry, but it's already time for another #begpost. We've been safely housed this week thanks to the incredible generosity of our friends here on the #Fediverse. What little wages I was able to earn from my shifts earlier this week went to the monthly storage unit bill to avoid a hefty late fee.

   Consequently, we've exhausted our grocery supplies and my "E" (low fuel) light is on in my car.

   While we're somewhat content where we're currently staying, it is a 40-mile round-trip commute and we were a little dismayed to learn that this motel's policy is no more than 30 days in any given room before we have to change so that it can be "deep cleaned".

   I don't feel the policy is unreasonable given the demographics for a low-budget motel, but the thought of having to switch rooms every few weeks is exhausting to even consider. Dragging our microwave and mini-fridge (which I don't know with complete certainty whether we're technically *allowed* to have said items) and our stuff over and over is not the most appealing.

   If we don't stay here, our only other options (besides living in our car) are an extended-stay type hotel that in multiple google maps reviews was referred to as a "trap house", or an apartment complex which I'm afraid could potentially be referred to as the same.

   We were disappointed last month when we tried and spectacularly failed to secure an apartment at a complex we'd fell in love with, and have been sort of floundering on that front since.

   But I think we've both had our fill of motel/hotel life, and it's time to settle down again. We don't want to rent a room in anyone's home, at least not for a very long time, after our past couple of experiences with that.

   So, I'm leaning towards the semi-sketchy apartment complex, if they even have any rooms available now. I can't say I'm very optimistic about living there being a pleasant experience, but we're worn out. We're tired of nearly all our belongings being locked away in a storage unit halfway across the valley.

   Like everywhere else, there's an application fee for both of us. We may have to be creative at addressing the rental history problem. Both our credit scores are atrocious but my gut instinct is that this complex won't be as concerned about that.

   It might save us a tiny bit of money monthly, but the downside is we can't just pay the rent daily or weekly. We'll likely have to fundraise an entire month's rent before we can get moved in, plus any deposits (the specifics of which I can't recall at this moment).

   And, with hours at work being the way they have been and seem likely to continue for the immediate future, I don't know how easy it's going to be to keep ahead of that monthly rent bill.

   I don't know whether we'll actually be able to pull this off. I don't know if we're "jumping out the frying pan and into the fire". But I do know we're pretty burned out and I'm not sure what else to do.

   In summary: we need funds for food, gas, application fees to what will likely be a dirty, musty "ghetto" apartment, so that at least we can resume having a semi-permanent address.

   As always, thank you all in advance for your help and support.

   If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

   Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
   Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
   PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
   GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

   #MutualAid #MentalIllness #Poverty @mutualaid

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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Tuesday, 16-Sep-2025 06:57:09 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   Hello Everyone.

   If I were single and by myself, I wouldn't even be bothering to panhandle anymore. Believe it or not, being an "online grifter" isn't as glorious as they make it out to be. Typing this #begpost today, especially after everything that's happened in the past few weeks, makes my skin crawl.

   The guilt is sometimes overwhelming, but the worst part is noticing the drop in interaction I'm getting from *anything* I'm posting as people finally get fed up and mute me.

   If I were by myself, I would've given up by now and resigned myself to living in my car.

   But I'm not alone.

   I have a fragile partner struggling valiantly to survive despite his #CPSTD and a suite of other #MentalIllness symptoms that makes him very vulnerable. And we have a severely co-dependent, overweight Border Collie (who likely also has PTSD). They are extraordinarily bonded and it would devastate my partner to get rid of him.

   Regrettably, I only make $16 per hour currently which isn't a livable wage in our area anymore. I'm too unstable and uneducated to expect or to qualify for anything better.

   So I must summon all the effort I have within me despite the crushing guilt of burning up everyone else's funds, and beg for even more.

   Please forgive me everyone, but for the thousandth time I must plead for #MutualAid support. I've backed us into a corner and we're out of groceries, and the icing on this shit cake is I have two days off in a row tomorrow and Tuesday and no way to pay for it.

   The funds from the $350 money order for the apartment application that was laughably denied will be tied up for at least another week (at least I think that's what the woman at the counter said).

   We're currently in the cheapest accommodations we could find that wasn't frequently referred to as a "trap house" in the online reviews. (Again, if I were alone I would probably just join them but I don't think it's the most ideal place for my partner and his crippling CPSTD). The room does hover around 80 degrees (~26 celsius) 24/7, and it's roughly a 40-mile round-trip commute but it's relatively clean and safe. If we pay weekly, it isn't substantially more than we would've been paying the for the apartment we wanted anyway.

   Unfortunately we're out of groceries again. We used most of a grocery gift card we were given to buy a decent supply of dog food for the next week or two, and now my partner and I are tired and hangry.

   We don't have the spoons right now to jump through all the hurdles of public assistance and charity, so I must once again plead with strangers on the internet for help.

   I'm sorry everyone. I wish I could get my shit together.

   If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

   Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
   Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
   PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
   GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Friday, 01-Aug-2025 09:36:16 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   Today is my day off to recover from the exhausting misery of retail, which means I don't have enough for tomorrow's payment.

   I'm sure most of our friends here have reached their limit of us constantly pleading for #MutualAid, and/or are (more likely) "tapped out" after we've failed to get our shit together and spent all their money.

   I get it. While I try to keep it "low-key", it's still a nuisance. It's still taking funds from other people. It's bleeding people we've never met of their funds that they actually *did* work hard for.

   I'm aware that I'm a grifter and beggar. It isn't my intention to mislead or deceive, but I also realize not everyone will agree with me about that.

   But as I've said many times before, I don't know what else to do with the resources and circumstances we currently have.

   So.. if there's anyone else left out there who can afford to donate and haven't (understandably) muted me into oblivion, I would be deeply grateful.

   Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
   Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
   PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
   GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

   #MutualAid #BPD #CPTSD #fundraise @mutualaid

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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Tuesday, 22-Jul-2025 16:59:59 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   So much for trying to do this ahead of time so it isn't always an immediate crisis; 🙄 I was reminded today that I had forgotten our storage unit payment, also due today, because the irritatingly persistent leasing office for the unit already called us because the payment didn't go through this morning.

   Anyway.. I have probably less than 24 hours before we get slapped with a $50 late fee, and unfortunately my lucrative, soul-crushing $16/hr retail job isn't sufficient to cover it.

   So.. Please forgive me for panhandling for the zillionth time, but we could really use some help covering the bill for the unit filled to the brim with nearly all our worldly possessions.

   If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

   Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
   Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
   PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982

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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Saturday, 24-May-2025 23:58:12 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   *sigh* We're $25 short for the dispensary. If anyone can help us I would really appreciate it. We're both struggling pretty bad mentally right now. Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins

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   Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi: (libertyforward1@beige.party)'s status on Thursday, 27-Mar-2025 14:16:13 JST Melancholic Mediocrity :v_bi:

   Hi everyone.

   It's once again time for me to plead with the Fediverse for #MutualAid. I'm reaching the end of my rope trying to keep up with everything. We've been even more isolated than usual due to having no car insurance which isn't helping our #MentalIllness (es). I'm still being scheduled lower hours at work -- just enough to rob me of any spoons for anything besides work, but not quite enough to actually survive.

   Our storage unit with all our possessions is past due and in danger. We're almost out of groceries. My phone service just got cut off which makes my vulnerable partner nervous in case there's an emergency. My shift at work tonight won't be quite enough to cover tomorrow's room payment. And I'm apparently going to need to just pop ibuprofen like candy indefinitely for this broken molar.

   One small spot of good news: My partner has been incredibly brave having run out of edibles for his #PTSD. He's been out for nearly a week now which in the past would be unthinkable, his anxiety would become so severe he'd vomit until he was dehydrated after only a couple of days.

   I swear I'm trying, everyone.. I really want to just give up but I'm trying my best despite this stupid fucking #BPD and #ADHD-addled brain of mine. (I really wish I could get the hang of dissociation.)

   Anyway.. to get us back to not feeling like we're totally drowning would require closer to $800, but I realize that's outrageously excessive, so instead my goal is to at least get our storage unit current and my phone service back up which sadly is also still excessive.

   Please forgive me for the thousandth time, but if anyone is willing AND able to help us please donate to any of the links below.

   If you AREN'T able to contribute, I beg you please DO NOT feel guilty or ashamed. Obviously I couldn't help you any more than you can help me, if our situations were reversed; so if all you can offer is a boost then boost away with a clear conscience because sometimes #Solidarity is literally the best folks like us can do right now.

   Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
   Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
   PP: penguinpower8182@gmail.com
   GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3