Notices by Tuckers Nuts Resist😈! (jstatepost@mstdn.social)

@DelilahTech @mark
🥥 Note to entrepreneurial Australians: With Xmas coming up, you're on the cusp of making beaucoup bucks by selling your Bluey dollar coins to gullible US-ians to give to their grandkids for the holiday.
Just be sure to mark them up outrageously to cover your shipping & handling and big, fat profit. 🥥
#Australia #Money #Coins #Dollars #BlueyDollar #UnderpantsGnomes #Bluey #TuckersBalls

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Isn't there some kind of law, Mr Facts, that unless you're a cockroach, you're supposed to freeze if a light suddenly shines on you? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye have it on good authority, Mr Facts, that Steve Jobs could afford a wallet of any size that he desired.
That, in fact, was his motivation for getting rich. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye also have it on good authority, Mr Facts, that people are 4 times as likely to believe a lie if the person wearing the hat, winking, and telling it is the size of a Leprechaun and speaks with a heavy Irish accent. 🥥

@br00t4c
🥥 Sure, br00t4c, but how do you put the watch back together again? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Glad to have the fog as my friend, Mr Facts.
Now Eye'm not the only dense thing around here. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye didn't "get," this, Mr Facts, because Eye don't know anything about Luigi's Mansion.
But Eye will accept its factualness because YOU have an honest face. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Idea for your nocturnal football league, Mr Facts: Glow-in-the-dark raccoons! 🥥

@persagen
🥥 Well, in Trump's defense, at least he didn't nominate the ghost of Dr Mengele for head of Medicare and Medicaid. 🥥
#DrOz #DrMengele #USPolitics #Medicare #Medicaid #TrumpCabinet#TuckersBalls

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Is there an evolutionary chart Eye can consult, Mr Facts, that documents the relationship between these dance forms?
Also, where does break dancing fit into this picture? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye have showbiz friends, Mr Facts, who tell me that before the focus groups got ahold of it, Buffy was originally to be about a gal who worked in an auto body shop buffing paint finishes. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Perfect for a kitchen timer!
Amirite, Mr Facts? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Personal best, so far, Mr Facts, 90+ minutes.
Thank YOU, Mastodon. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Thank YOU for bringing me up to date, Mr Facts.
Eye somehow missed that announcement about the White Stripes when it first came out. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 True this, Mr Facts.
It's why the rest of us need to make sure we don't drive cars too much. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye, for one, don't care if Mastodon can scale or not, Mr Facts.
Eye like it just the way it is. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 There may be no justice in the world, Mr Facts, but this purchase at auction of Alex Jones's InfoWars is certainly poetic justice. 🥥
#AlexJones #TheOnion #InfoWars #Justice #PoeticJustice #USPolitics #Media #TuckersBalls

🥥 World, meet Trump's nominee for UN Ambassador, Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-NY).
"Let me start by saying something nice about Elise Stefanik: She went to Harvard. Then again, so did the Unabomber. You might think it’s unfair to compare Stefanik to the Unabomber, and it is—to the Unabomber. For all his flaws, he was way more ideologically consistent than Stefanik." --Andy Borowitz
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/sorry-world
🥥
#USPolitics #TrumpNominees #EliseStefanik #UN #TuckersBalls

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye did NOT know that, Mr Facts. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 As an anti-social misanthrope, Mr Facts, THIS is the game Eye've been searching for all my life.
Finally a way to drive everyone away.
But look at you!
First, fascinating random facts, then cartoons, now games?
Is there anything you CAN'T do?
Why didn't YOU run for President? 🥥