Notices by Tuckers Nuts Resist! 🇺🇦  (jstatepost@mstdn.social), page 2

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye'm bored.
Can Eye chair this meeting, Mr Facts? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Many people are saying, Mr Facts, that the ink used to write the Bible was derived from Mandarin oranges. 🥥

🧵 Thread 31/X
🥥 Compare and contrast.
The descent of the office of the President of the United States from 1960 to 2025.
Eye was alive when President Kennedy was elected in 1960, ushering in an era known as Camelot with his lovely first lady Jacqueline,
On Monday, January 20, 2025, the curtain goes up on Little Shop of Horrors. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #TheKennedys #Trump #Melania #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 9/X
🥥 Putin's poodle.
Manipulated photograph shows Russian leader Vladimir Putin walking Trump on a leash like a dog.
As you hear about the developments of the next 4 years, it will help you to decipher them if you ask the question, "How does this benefit Putin"? 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Putin #Trump #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 10/x
🥥 Remember, brave, brave Sir Donald is holding his inauguration indoors on January 20th because attendance is going to be low; not because the weather is going to be cold.
People who had received inauguration invitations -- for whom there is no room -- are being told that their tickets are just non-functional souvenirs. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Crowds #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 11/X
🥥 Satirist Andy Borowitz offers a list of great moments in Republican history to watch instead of Monday's Inauguration 2.0. He also gives a reminder that the sequel to a bad movie is usually an even worse movie:
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/what-to-watch-instead-of-the-inauguration
🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #AndyBorowitz #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 12/X
🥥 You'll be seeing a lot of these 2 people over the next 4 years. This is just a reminder that if you don't watch the inauguration, you won't see them on Monday, January 20th. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Trump #Vance #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 13/X
🥥 Things to do on inauguration day instead of watching the shit-show: Ladies, buy your burkas. The incoming administration is on track to make women second-class citizens. So to comply in advance with the American Taliban, use Monday, January 20th, to purchase the outfits you're soon going to be ordered to wear.
Project 2025 is the 900+ page document considered the blueprint for the 2nd Trump administration. Many of its contributors have been given roles in the new Trump regime. 🥥

🧵 Thread 14/X
🥥 Let the in-fighting begin!
Your reminder that before the crypto money-bros convinced Trump to name JD Vance as his Vice President, Vance wrote that Trump could be America's Hitler. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Trump #Vance #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 15/X
🥥 Things to do rather than watch the inauguration, McDonald's Edition.
Buy stock in the burger-making chain. It's bound to go up during the 2nd term of its biggest booster. 🥥

🧵 Thread 16/X
🥥 Things to do instead of watching the inauguration on Monday: Wear a Hat and Love Your Cat Edition.
If watching the Untied Snakes slide into fascism on Martin Luther King Day is not your thing, show your disapproval with a cat in a hat. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #CatInAntiMAGAHat #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 17/X
🥥 He's eating the ducks. He's eating the cats.
(This photo may have been machine-generated.)
Your reminder that Monday's Inauguration of the US's first fascist President marks the official beginning of open season on the truth. Trump lied more than 30,000 times in his first go-round. How long will it take him to break that record? 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #BondVillain #Trump #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 18/X
🥥 Monday, January 20, 2025, will be a day of national embarrassment for the Untied Snakes.
On Martin Luther King Day, we'll be inaugurating our first fascist government.
Do yourself a favor and find wholesome things to do on Monday rather than pay any attention to this travesty. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Fascism #MartinLutherKingDay #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 19/X
🥥 On October 16th, 2015, Twitter user @cavalorn tweeted, "'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party."
The meme refers to regretful voters who vote for cruel and unjust policies and politicians and are surprised when their own lives become worse as a result.
Has the price of eggs gone down yet?
They're eating the faces. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #LeopardsEatingFaces #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 20/X
🥥 Is it going to get harder or easier to know who to hate after the inauguration?
Trump is married to an immigrant and JD Vance is married to a woman whose parents were Indian immigrants.
Trump can make a few extra bucks selling scorecards to his followers so they'll know who it's okay to hate. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Melania #MrsVance #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 21/X
🥥 Devolution of the Republican Party.
On inauguration Monday, January 20th, we'll be putting the worst President the Untied Snakes ever had back into the Oval Office. That should give you enough reasons to convince you to do something other than watch the inauguration. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #WorstPresidentEver #DeclineOfGOP #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 22/X
🥥 Hypocrisy is the most notable characteristic of the Right these days.
On Monday, a twice-impeached, degenerate convicted felon, and serial liar will place his hand on a Bible and utter an oath of which every word will be a lie.
Support lower blood pressure, skip this event. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Hypocrisy #TrumpSupporters #Atheists #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 23/X
🥥 The results of the last US-ian election, which will be commemorated by an empty ceremony on Monday, are a reminder that people need a better understanding of who and what they are voting for.
Here are 3 tips. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Voting #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 24/x
🥥 On Monday, January 20, 2025, the US will be installing a rare set of two-fers: A twice-impeached convicted felon who is both a fascist and a Russian stooge and who is going to the White House for the second time as President. 🥥

🧵 Thread 26/x
🥥 Destroyed from within.
David Brinkley, on November 18, 1956, reported on his NBC Nightly News show that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev said earlier that day, "We will take America without firing a shot. We do not have to invade the United States. We will bury you from within.”
On Monday, January 20, 2025, we'll be shoveling soil into the grave. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Trump #Khrushchev #TuckersBalls