Notices by Low Quality Facts (lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social)

I know that Stephen Miller gets a lot of hate on here, but hear me out.

I think we could hate him more. We have the capacity, we all just need to put in a little more effort.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Lonk Mug. Don't ask me why they decided to put a picture of Zelda on the mug, I don't get it either.
https://collabs.shop/t6x3hk

Genuinely surprised to see so much criticism of Republicans on here lately. I expected their "pro-killing innocent Americans in cold blood" platform to resonate with more people.

Nutritionists say it's best to eat whole foods. So I am proud to unveil my new line of healthy protein bars that only contain one ingredient: Highly processed gunk.

Does it confuse you that both sides of the political spectrum claim to be advocates of free speech? Let me translate that for you:

Free speech for the Left: We want to be able to speak freely without facing retribution from an oppressive government.

Free speech for the Right: Let us say all the slurs.

BREAKING NEWS: Melania has been nominated to win the inaugural FIFA Academy Award for Best Picture.

Imagine if a cashier at Costco murdered two customers, and instead of them being arrested Costco was just like "Okay everyone calm down, we have demoted the cashier's boss from Manager to Assistant Manager".

That blows my mind.

If anyone claims to be mad at the government but their tummy does not hurt then you can and should assume they are an undercover fed.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this "My tummy hurts and I'm mad at the government" Pin. Same kid, same.
https://collabs.shop/l9qjk8

I know I would.

We are kindly asking people not to jump to conclusions just because indisputable video evidence shows us executing an innocent man in broad daylight.

That blows my mind.

I'm sick of the nonstop political content on here, so tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this totally apolitical "The Real Horror Wears A Red Hat" sticker. I've never heard of this monster, but it sounds terrifying. I'll be wary of red hats from now on. Keep children away from them.
https://collabs.shop/s72n5x

This is exactly how Sonic looked in the original movie trailer before fans demanded they change his design.

Social media can be a depressing place. So please take a moment to enjoy tonight's Low Quality Ad, this Gotta Go Fast mug. Look at Sonic. He looks demented. Like the artist drew him from memory and also has amnesia. That's fun, right? Gave you a few seconds of happiness, eh?
https://collabs.shop/ewknvx

Making myself seem smarter by commenting "these stats say it all" on every graph I come across.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Frog Bartender Pin. Come for the drinks, stay for the ribbiting conversation.
https://collabs.shop/p36i2b

Someone said "Don't you mean frogtender?" No! No I do not! He is tending to the bar, not himself.

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for Mambo No. 5.