Notices by Sharkgirl Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)

@siege @amberage always welcome at chaosfem 💜

Really shouldn’t have to spend my night talking the kids I work with through their fear that their lives could become illegal in the next year, and discussing the what-if’s of their existence being threatened.

Like, if a party winning an election leaves a teenager spiraling repeating “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.” this is so far beyond normal and okay. If I ever inspired such thoughts in a kid, I would quit everything I’m doing and go hand myself over to a convent or something to atone, because what the holy fuck? I will never forgive a member of the Republican Party for doing this - I will pour a cold glass of water or milkshake on any shitfuck I ever encounter that was part of this.

Anywho, here’s hoping that tomorrow night doesn’t leave the queer kids in panic and despair like tonight did. Blargh!

I know for trans folks in their early days or years, it may be disheartening to see someone like me who is further along express frequently that she’s still struggling with mental illness.

I want you to know: this is actually 100x better than where I was before transition and therapy, and talking about it is progress.

Thing is, before I used to collapse and isolate, not talking to friends or family for days, weeks…sometimes months. I was ashamed and couldn’t really corral my depression, PTSD, or ADHD at all - it took over my life.

Transition has made it so I’m in my body, in my life, and in my emotions. Sometimes that’s scary and overwhelming. But I talk about it now and can name what it is. This gives me power and puts me back in control of my mental health and my life. From the outside my life is so much more stable and productive - I’m a successful community worker, I have a family and household I’m an active part of, and I have good friends. Oh, and I GET TO BE A GIRL!!!! 🤩🥰

I feel crazy - am I the only one that wants to scream when they see a plastic skeleton of a dog with ears?! EARS AREN’T BONES!!!

I should remind myself the vast majority of people don’t have ADHD or autism…I’m so used to my lovely community of neuroqueers and then suddenly…oh, your brain works as expected by others? You don’t know how to keep a deep conversation going for more than 10 minutes? You don’t have at least one special interest you can infodump at me about for hours and hours?! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A REALLY COOL ROCK YOU WANT TO SHOW ME?!?!

Weirdos.

@BathysphereHat I think I said something similar to @hackermatic when she came out to me almost a decade ago. Like, I wished any antidepressant I tried was nearly so effective for my own depression….um, turns out HRT was exactly that effective for me as well 😅

@RickiTarr okay, I don’t think that’s actually illegal…but more in “I didn’t think we’d ever need to write that law down” sense. 😅

I will say this for the Trump era in all its stressful, accursed glory - we have learned a lot in the last ten years about what rules we actually have to write down and can’t just assume no one would actually do it.

@clacke @adwright wish these losers would just fucking deal with their own problems rather than destroying community spaces and terrorizing people who haven’t done shit to them.

@adwright I missed this, what library was attacked? Sounds tragic😁😣

Why do so many people go along with celebrating how much money a political candidate raises in US elections?

The rhetoric of how much money the Harris campaign has raised is being offered up as a sign of how popular and successful she already is. It is described like a new poll coming out showing she’s popular. Her campaign fundraising ads talk about how there are fundraising “deadlines” that we need to help with in order to win the election. We’re not seeing ads to help with getting people registered, getting out the vote, or persuading us that she’s a good candidate - we’re seeing ads asking us to give money.

Heck, the rhetoric reminds me of how stans talk about making sure their favorite artist sells enough downloads or tickets when a new album or tour is announced to prove they’re more popular than other artists!

Why the fuck are we playing along with money in politics like this?!

#USpol #GetMoneyOutOfPolitics #FuckNeoliberalism

@siege oh holy cow….CJ, you just gave me a mind blown moment! 🤯🤯🤯

This feels like an indictment of our society: women don't feel safe, so should we work on ending rape culture and patriarchy? Nah, just slap some glitter on the pepper spray so the girlies know it's for them. Found at target of all places. 😮💨

@hiisikoloart i've wondered this too - we have estrogen patches, are there npt equivalent ones for testosterone? I only hear talk about gel and injections most of the time, not oral or patches, which seems weird. Are these a thing? Is there a strong biological reason not to or just hasn't been prioritized?

This is kinda odd, but randomly at roughly five years into transition, I'm considering changing up my pronouns from she/they to they/she...which may not seem like much, but is still increasingly seemingly potentially meaningful for me.

For all my friends here, you know I'm a nonbinary trans woman and that ain't changing. I still have a strong sense of my own womanhood and of being "a woman *and* more." And there's so much relational meaning bound up in she/her and being treated as belonging as "one of the girls" through that.

...but then there's this thing that still happens to me, every time someone refers to me as "she," I still have to remind my brain they are talking about me. It's a lot closer and I see myself in it more than I ever did "he," but my brain doesn't register it automatically, and it's no longer just a matter of habit since I've been she/her for years now.

And when someone calls me "they," my brain immediately recognizes I'm being talked about. So...that's a thing?

It's about time that I got in on #MusicWomenWednesday (with @loewe ) and share the most recent band I've been obsessed with.

Artist: Bridge City Sinners (Frontperson: Libby, she/they)

Why? Describing this as "dark neofolk" doesn't really describe how they bring together diverse styles of vocals and instrumentation that pull both from metal and the dark sides of country and folk. Not to mention some of the songs really speak to those of us living with mental illness or otherwise on the margins.

Where to start?

"Devil Like You" cemented by obsession, telling the story of a murder most foul with just an earworm of a haunting chorus

https://youtu.be/ZDgp1Z3EPVU?si=bprDURjYZrc1r6fk

Meanwhile, "Doubt" really hit me hard in my own experiences living with mental illness: https://youtu.be/3cu1dDFjH0M?si=tLN_OcViHLvzBERq

And "Rock Bottom" has the amazing line:
"Depression,
hello my old friend.
It's so good to see you again -
at least with you I won't die alone."

https://youtu.be/CbD8xjXZyNc?si=fjglP0blZF7lCS-s

#Music #Women #MusicWomenWednesday

Super random #music question: Are there any #HipHop or #Rap musical artists people would suggest that play with horror/dark fantasy/goth-y themes?

I just realized that while I know so many other genres that cross over into horror themes (from psychobilly to hyperpop), I can't name any that are more rooted in Hip Hop, Rap, or R & B. I gotta imagine that there's someone crossing over into these themes. I mean, MF Doom did amazing things playing with superhero and fantasy, gotta imagine there's someone who has done similar with horror.

Um...so, not really wanting to work today...can someone overthrow capitalism for me? Preferably before noon so I can take a nap? No?

Vwry important question: what is the best ideology for naps? What form of political economy best enables lazy, quiet afternoon siestas? What is the coziest social system to inhabit?

If your revolution doesn't include snuggly naps, it's not my revolution

I...um...I just got a mother's day card from my adopted nephew? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭🥰😭🥰😭

I never even conceived i could ever receive a mother's day card...I just...i'm crying again 🥹😭

#TransJoy #FoundFamily #QueerJoy