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   Joscelyn Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Monday, 28-Apr-2025 04:52:22 JST Joscelyn Transpiring

   in reply to

   TLDR: If you got a trans fem in your life, offer to give her a massage. Offer to take her out and do all the planning. Offer to just let her snuggle in some blankets with a book or game and you'll bring her snacks and hot beverages. Offer to hold her as she cries. Offer to her to let go for a moment and just not have to be on top of everything. Offer her head pats.

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     Joscelyn Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Monday, 28-Apr-2025 04:52:23 JST Joscelyn Transpiring

     I think one thing the cis world doesn't get about trans fems: we desperately want to just have someone take care of us for once.

     People often say things like "Trans women are women," which okay, yeah, but they don't actually understand what we live with. So many of us, only a year or two into our transitions, are expected not only to know everything about ourselves and be able to give a full accounting of who we are and what we want and have all our ducks in rows to provide for it financially by ourselves, but we are often being asked to mother baby transes (babies raising babies) and nurturing our families too.

     And having been treated as men before coming out, we often experiencing a touch and care deficit, with so few people seeing us as needing care or being able to accept it. And where cis women sometimes have cis gal pals to lean on, many of us don't have that and few cis women step up to treat us like one of the girls.

     Ryan Castellucci :nonbinary_flag: repeated this.