Notices by `Da Elf (elfin@mstdn.social)

@cpm So Claire is flying back from Florida tonight and is bringing hot sauce (implied, for me).

Yes this is a TSA agent holding a bottle of hot sauce that has "Explosive" written in rather bold lettering.

I'm so amused Imma pee.

@cinebox @cpm Yeah. Her follow up text is that TSA Flunky *did* decide to challenge her and she pushed back.

I think #TSA sets the IQ bar for agents at about 90, and that's the Top Out End.

@cinebox @cpm

@MissConstrue @Lana I will not play games Pre Caffeine ... I will hop that counter and mainline beans.

Making me think Before caffeine is unwise, unhealthy, and possibly terminal.

Medium Coffee, Two Sugars.

Anything beyond that isn't happening.

And *correcting* me with made up size names, I *will* beat some fucker with the grinder and fill their squishy forms with ALL THE STIR STICKS!

</rant>

@anne_twain @MissConstrue @Lana

The cafe I loved in Santa Cruz had some visitors from Silly Valley once.

They: Late, fast free, double shot, decaf, two pumps of caramel, sugar free, nonfat whip.

... and another in the same vane.

All of us regulars are bracing for impact (Stout was a dick, but he was Our dick).

Stout (Manager/Head Barista): If you wanted a glass of fucking water, why didn't you just ask for one?

We: 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

They: Left for SBux up the block.

#coffee #OzCulture

Works!

#PayPhone #2600

@feld @Szescstopni Oh no. Remember, according to them, your platform is *Their* platform because, "town hall" or something.

@Szescstopni
1. State Law! State Law! Which is how we ended up here after RvW got nixed.

2. Section 230 is *always* under attack.

Which is hysterical because the folk that most want it gone, are the *Most Likely* to get sued into a smoldering crater (liable / defamation) if it's tanked. [ALso it'll fundamentally break social media, comment sections, and the whole fucking Web at large.

@IndyStar_Unofficial Oh yeah, I forgot. A tornado touched down in my mother's front yard last month, uprooted a (big fucking) tree, and tossed it on the roof. +

Not either of the neighbor's yards, nooooo. Just hers.

+ I may have to go back and fix the roof before my cousin does it (wrong)++ and I have to go back to commit homicide.

++ I've been roofing since I was seven. Might know a few things.

@lain That ... completely breaks my brain.

E-Waste -Ew

https://www.theregister.com/2025/05/16/ted_talk_electronic_waste/

@feld
Eh, I've been all over town, just got here, sun is setting (read, it's about to get cold), my Tevas are in (sheepfucking) Redmond.

So, this is what I got, or barefoot. Did I mention cold? It's about to get cold, and briefly windy, and cold.

My time.

@feld @technotenshi RedTeam stuff, bribes are very much The Way. And it's a Two-Fer : You also find the weasel in the company (good), Flog Them To Hell (fun), and make a very messy example of their careers for the other minions (better), so they learn integrity and OpSec (winning).

@feld @technotenshi And, you know; "Old Tricks Are The Best Tricks."

@technotenshi "Bribed Staff" is the Take-Away here.

So, the people working for CoinBase can be bought. I wonder now about the staff of the other Coins. Just idle curiosity, mind you.

= *POW* =

Right in the MAGA Kisser

[*In Dumb Hick Voice*] WAit, dey gonna raise prices at da WallMart!?! Mary-Jo-Beth-Karen! Get the kids! We gotta go get toilet paper, daipers, and Bud Light, Right Now!

This pleases me *entirely* too much.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2025/may/15/walmart-raise-prices-trump-tariffs

I have found the Nora Roberts, Little Free Library ... There's always one.

@juliewebgirl Holy Fuck!!! That's AWESOME!

@feld @kellyromanych @Mikal

I've actually been told this a few times. I pull a lotta crap. My particular flavors of Spectrum and Lifestyle prohibit a "Normal" life by most people's standards.

Makes for some great stories tho.

One of my oldest/best friends wants me to write my memoirs. I said, "I'm not done living, and I'm too busy doing that to write it all down."