Notices by JB 🐎 :neuro: (anautieatuni@beige.party)

@hellomiakoda Aaargh! Just generally, nonconsentual and unexpected interaction is not easy for me either. Mornings hardest too. I hide sometimes but not always possible! Allistics just don’t get it.

@nixCraft The internet. Don’t know why! Just always has!

I’m putting it out there: I really wish I knew some coding people who are not cis male that I could look up to, be inspired by. I am yet again surround by cis males in tech on my course - and they are truly brilliant and inspiring - but I feel like I don’t belong and shouldn’t be here.

The people I am seeking to follow and be inspired by are those who “code first” (not sure how to describe that, hence the quotes) and didn’t adopt more of a PR or front-facing role, mostly leaving coding behind as the vast majority of females I know in tech eventually did. (And a reason why I felt I also didn’t belong in tech or coding and should follow them, after I was told all I do as a web dev who directly helped my employer’s entire business scale up is “just pretty things up”).

So: who are some non cis males whose career is centred on coding excellence who I could follow online somehow? Really not sure of the right words to describe this, so please rephrase “coding excellence” if you need - I mean people who mostly just want to code, be great at code, inspire others to be great too, they could teach or not, lecture or not, just hang out online, whatever. Their actual job could be in almost ANY industry, not just software dev or similar.

#coding #softwaredevelopment #webdevelopment #coders #diversityintech

Why some* autistics love house chores:

Doing laundry, vacuuming, or things like tidying can help bring a sense of familiarity to days that are disordered or not part of our routine.

I feel so much more relaxed when I can get some so-called “boring” house chores done on unusual days. It brings a sense of order, accomplishment, control, and familiarity as I know these chores well.

Of course, being AuDHD, when days follow a familiar routine, I am totally the opposite and crave spontaneity! 🤣

* = asterisk next to some was to highlight this word: some. I.e. Not all. I wouldn’t even try to guess how many. But I know I’m not the only one!

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Never underestimate the power of being an ally who “simply” validates another person’s experience. You don’t need to be an expert to do this.

Each person I meet who ‘gets’ what ME/CFS is and simply believes me when I describe my experience of it helps me feel stronger when I need to fight for support from Big Systems that default to saying No.

I am not even talking about financial support. I do not have the strength to fight for PIP right now. So I’m talking about reasonable adjustments and support during my university studies from the DSA. It is a slog. The Systems are rigid behemoths.

@brianbilston I just got so much joy from this and the subtle missing ‘d’ at the end to be joined by the falling d perhaps. Wonderful work! Please keep doing what you do. 🍂 🌳

Spotted this diagram on LinkedIn recently. Been thinking a lot about the autism side.

There are so many times when I want to do things properly and ONLY properly, and can’t seem to even think that “enough” is all that’s needed, let alone think about what “enough” might look like.

The ADHD side also rings true. But I’m not sure yet how I feel about the AuDHD part that combines the two. Hmmm! 🤔 Perhaps the description itself is too much for me to even think about!

Curious to hear others’ thoughts on if / how you can relate to this diagram.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Really interesting chat with a clinician about ADHD and his philosophies regarding it and medication just now:

He didn’t think it’s a disorder unless we say it is, I.e. it’s causing us problems and we haven’t got a way around it.

Does think adult ADHD is different to child ADHD, and likes to say ADH (without the D for disorder) is part of who we are, naturally. He doesn’t work with children / assess them, though, so a caveat there.

Does believe in working with our nature, and also using medication as and when needed: when it feels like a disorder or stopping us from doing what we genuinely want to do. But shouldn’t be used as a productivity tool.

He suggested ADHD medications could help us to “understand what you’re working towards”. Like a journey of understanding. Remove / reduce the distractions and we find out what we’re left with when those obstacles are no longer taking up all that time and energy, and we find out if what we are left doing with our time and energy is what we want after all.

He was very strong about saying it is not about us “not being capable”. Medication is a way to support a journey of finding out what we want to be doing.

Most interesting viewpoint was the idea that ADHD is a coping mechanism for strong emotions, I.e. after some kind of traumas it became a way of coping with strong emotions, then became something like a habit of the subconscious kind (not literally the same as a habit). Said it’s not about dopamine lack, but challenges in its ‘availability’ at the right time because dopamine is often accessible with distractions / night before deadlines etc. We learned to distract ourselves from things that cause negative emotional consequence - and as adults that includes things that we think MIGHT cause negative emotional consequences. The latter means it can look like self-sabotage (my words). He said that for this reason (predicting potential negative consequences), distractions tended to be more likely when we are doing things we care a lot about. I.e. there’s more to lose if it goes wrong, so we distract ourselves to cope with the fear of failure (my interpretation). We/others might assume we don’t care about something enough if we’re too distracted when actually the opposite is likely true.

[SECOND EDIT to add: learned this subconsciously, not a conscious choice, not like a regular habit either.]

When he shared this last part I asked if he thought people could potentially cure themselves of ADHD if they addressed the emotional parts, address trauma, found better coping mechanisms - a tricky and loaded question, I know, but I felt he was almost ‘going there’ anyway…

He didn’t answer directly. I believe that was on purpose. He instead kept talking about ‘ADH’ being who we are now as adults, or not being a disorder by default, or bad. That it can be and is good. Was talking about working with our nature, not against it and definitely not trying to hide who we are for other people.

Interesting! Lots to ponder. He had a fantastic way with words.

I’m curious about other ADHD-ers thoughts on this.

I haven’t read or heard similar ideas but I’d love to know if books or blogs exist that talk about theories and philosophies like this. [Edit to add: NOT necessarily looking for anything focused on ‘cures’!! 😅 But on ADHD generally, ADHD life philosophies, ADHD wellbeing, non-medicated ways of supporting ourselves, etc. I already read a lot about autism, so this is just about ADHD, perhaps including AuDHD. Cures is a big, hairy, topic I am happy to avoid!]

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd #ADHD

FUCK!! I just got ANOTHER frigging academic prize. What the ACTUAL FUCK!

“Best overall performance” for the degree subject cohort.

SHIT! 🤯 This has never happened to me in my life - I was usually bottom of all classes, invisible. WHAT THE ACTUAL…..!!!

Now I understand why the Professor said congratulations on my “top” first class degree. I just thought maybe he was being his usual ambiguous self… “top” can mean first class, or in the general category of higher marks….

But, no, he meant I was top of the cohort for my degree subject!! WHAAAAATTTT

This doesn’t happen to me! I can’t explain it any better than that. This is never WHO I have been. I was even warned by the head mistress and head of sixth form about my low grades in high school meaning I might get kicked out.

OH EM GEE 🤯🤯🤯

HOW the flip do I process all this WILD info!! 😅

@actuallyautistic

From: @AnAutieAtUni
https://beige.party/@AnAutieAtUni/112761143093011520