Notices by Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw), page 3

@Tweetfiction Like, the president actually said "If you're not with us, you're against us." Holy shit.

The number of pretty much exclusively white men who drop into my mentions every time I write a silly political shit post. Like it's their duty to "teach" me about "strengthening my case by citing sources" (are you serious?) or try to get into a pedantic argument because I actually exist within a capitalist system.

There's an entire essay that I could write in this (or… *gestures vaguely at 400+ years of feminist writing). It would be a "part two" to my "I Think Your Breasts Are Big Enough" essay.

This is not men engaging in conversation. This is especially not men "trying to get to the truth" or whatever other dumb ass justifications they use. This is men asserting dominance.

There is only one reason to drop into an unknown woman's mentions to argue with or correct her on something like this: to place her in relation to you. To assert dominance and societal priority. You are the problem.

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/i-think-your-breasts-are-big-enough

I would really love it if all my white followers would read this interview with Dr. Johnathan Flowers called The Whiteness of Mastodon, in which he actually calles out the amazing essay by Sara Ahmed called A Phenomenology of Whiteness. (Go ahead and read that too).

https://techpolicy.press/the-whiteness-of-mastodon/

Roller derby practice last night was hard. It was really hard.

I'm paying for it today physically. I fell on my ass a couple times so bad that I had to get pulled out for whiplash and concussion checks. And I spent an embarrassing amount of time on the bench just crying.

I'm also paying for it emotionally, because the voices in my head won't shut up and just keep screaming about not deserving to be there and not being good enough and having no right trying because I'm not even a real girl and all kinds of fakeness and failure talk.

And all I kept thinking was that I went through boot camp twice, and it was never that hard. I never cried in boot camp.

I'm pretty damn compromised today.

White women, pictures of kids, named "Project Liberty." Wow, this Kids Online Safety Act advert has all the dog whistles. 🙄

If there's one piece of advice I want to give young geeks, it's not to use your actual name in any user accounts, email addresses, or websites. I mean, when you eventually transition, it's just a lot easier if you don't have to update all that shit.

@KatS Ham and Cheese is so on point! @roadriverrail

@roadriverrail Oh I loved Buffy and Firefly specifically because of the cheesiness. B-grade comedy is my favorite, so I always loved it for that reason. Totally diehard Buffy fan because I can make fun of it as I watch it. That's my jam.

The wildest thing about watching Buffy after all the Joss Whedon revelations and the admissions of him actually being Xander is the realization that was a lie too. He's not Xander, he's one of the weird kids who tries to kill girls and put their body parts together to make some zombie sex kitten of his dreams. I mean, he did it on screen instead of in Sunnydale, but… potayto-potahto

Gentleman, I understand that you are upset about me being a lesbian and thus sexually unavailable to you but aside of actually illustrating my point, your assurance that you are effectively interchangeable with a 6 inch piece of battery powered silicon is just really not the flex you think it is. 😂🤣

@salad_bar_breath

This exact thing happened to me. Just before my orchiectomy surgery, my surgeon closed his office and I got dropped. Had to start over with another urologist. It was absolutely crushing. God, I know how much this must absolutely suck for you right now. I'm so sorry.

@amy

"Many Black people have made important contributions to society."

"Many Trans people have made important contributions to society."

"Many women have made important contributions to society."

I get where these come from, I do. But there is an insidious message in them.

The assumption is that we are valuable because we have contributed demonstrable value to society, not because we, by the mere fact that we are part of humanity, deserve to live a life that is valued.

I wish our lives mattered in and of themselves, that we didn't have to say "we deserve to live because one of us might do something useful to you."

Here's why I love cats: They are like roommates who are autistic and polyromantic, and kind of into me, but also asexual. They'll just be hanging out in another room doing their own thing and suddenly be like "We are going to cuddle now" and then at some random point they will be like "That's too far, I'm going to bite you and walk away. I will tell you when we cuddle again."

Here's why I dogs bug me: They are like ADHD children of trauma who can't focus and need constant emotional reassurance no matter what's going on in someone else's life. This is annoying as fuck because I'M an ADHD child of trauma who can't focus and needs constant emotional reassurance no matter what's going on in someone else's life… and I really don't fucking need another me in my life.

Seriously, though, estrogen alone doesn't seem like it's gonna get me here. Progesterone helped a bit but I'm still stuck. No horns, no light up chest…

Come on #TransMastodon someone's gotta know what hormone I can take to reach my #TransitionGoals.

@JoscelynTransient Why would I want to… undo them? 😂

@JoscelynTransient I legit always wanted cute little horns that were not always 100% noticable. Like, my long, curly hair would actually hid them most of the time, but then they'd peak out.

Acting like "the internet" is responsible for America's rising right-wing violence is just the whitest possible response.

America's soil is soaked in blood, and America has reveled in that blood. We have never reconciled that blood, or atoned, or often even admitted that we shed it. We build lavish resorts on top of massacred Native blood. We host beautiful weddings on top of massacred Black slave blood. And rather that atone, we cause more to bleed and build more.

America is a gothic horror story of ancient blood magic returning to claim its price. Fascism is the demon Whiteness has prayed to and called forth and it will devour us as it claims their soul.

And rather than acknowledge and atone, even now white people want to blame "the internet" instead of 400 years of rape, lynching, murder, land theft, and racist laws that continue to this day. Instead of 400 years of individuals saying "well I'm personally not racist so it's not my problem."

Of all the decisions in my life, the absolute best I ever made was transi—

*lands in North Carolina

…

—moving out of the south.

I will bet you $100 that a person of color did not design this flag.

Many cis people think "transition" is an event, a thing. The reality is that it is a thousand big and small things. It's not one transition, but a set of transitions of various sizes, each one going from one state to another state that we would have thought unthinkable.

Pronouns, name, hair, hormone profiles, surgeries, all of these are small transitions. Going from feminine clothing is a transition. Hell, going from feminine clothing to really feminine clothing is a transition.

It's a thousand steps. It's not an event, it's a journey.