Notices by Rayne, Unexpired-Covid-Test-Having Bourgeois Ass (salad_bar_breath@todon.nl)

I think how I'm going to approach romantic relationships from now on is thus:

If something bad is happening, I will ask myself, "how would I feel if this shit was happening to my other partners?"

If I could see nuance in that situation, then I will see nuance in that and work it out. If I would knock their fucking teeth out for doing that to them, then I will break up with them (I hope).

*Twink turns into giant screaming bat creature after being stabbed*

Damn, twink death is fucked up

Carlsen loves this girl the way Harry Kim loves unavailable bitches

Carlsen loves this girl the way a baby trans girl in a small town in rural Texas loves the only other trans girl in that town.

Some random guy: nice weather we're having today, huh?

Carlsen: I love her! I need to be with her, we're connected!

You know you have it made when you have a partner that looks at you the way Carlsen looks at the extremely naked space vampire girl.

"Carlsen is after the girl!"

"How do you know?"

Bro everybody knows...

Carlsen was outside the spaceship holding a boombox playing love songs over his head and started crying

*stabs Patrick Stewart with drugs* you bitch! Why don't you talk to me! You're perfect!

Damn, these mfers have it bad...

Dang, they killed the dramatic reaction guy 😭 he was the only good thing about this movie

I love how everybody is focused on the naked girl while these two twinks are out here building an army.

*stares at my wife in anger for suggesting this movie*

Carlsen: I didn't want the ship to reach earth, and if it did! I destroyed the tapes so no one would know!

Know what Carlsen?

Carlsen: That I was in love! She destroys worlds and I love her!

I mean...I feel it I guess...

I wish I was watching this while y'all were watching something else during Monsterdon, and flood the hashtag with my toots just to piss everyone off.

The bullshit Carlsen is on though cause he has it so bad for this girl is pretty well written. Love is a motherfucker.

My favorite thing about this movie tho is the one guy who's whole job on this British/American joint task force is to ask obvious questions and have melodramatic reactions to bullshit while everyone else remains stoic.

Also, like, how are you going to have the London Symphony Orchestra but still be so poorly scored?

The music is like an early episode of Looney Tunes that was an outtake because the people that scored it were high af that day

Jesus fucking Christ the over the top innuendos and bad horny jokes in this are ridiculous. It's like the NSFW channel of a trans discord server.

Porn DVD's from the 90s have a better plot than this