Notices by Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw), page 2

@roadriverrail This literally copies a tweet I posted in Twitter when I first came out. Same list. Wild. God I'm still mad about the hips thing.

@tattie @lisamelton

Fun fact: I still doubt I'm really Trans.

Seriously.

There's so much that doesn't fit. I play the games online and joke about the stereotypes, but I don't fit most of them.

And I don't fit a lot of the history either. Joking and laughing about obviousness aside, when I'm alone in the dark, I still serious doubt it all. In many ways I feel like a fake Trans person.

But a friend gave me a really good question to ask myself: So what?

See, here's what I know:

My brain feels better on Estrogen. My body feels better with girl parts. I feel more at ease when society sees me as a girl.

So, in the end, what if I just like it better this way? What if I'm not really Trans? So what?

It doesn't matter to me if I'm not Trans, because I know that I am happier.

"I could never be a girl."

I said the same thing.

Two years ago today, I was described by people as "A manly man." I was 6'2", buff, and deep voiced and shooting up Testosterone.

Earlier this week, I was gazed at by two lesbians who stopped their conversation to watch me cross the street. (I will ride this high for weeks, BTW)

Today, I was told by a man working on my house that I "Always look so elegant." The dudes have been working on our house for almost a month and have never seen me as anything other than an elegant woman.

Two years ago I thought "I could never be a girl." Yet, today, I'm a girl.

You can be a girl. Take the hormones, babe.

So, just in case anyone needs to read this:

"Holy shit, I'm a girl!"

This is a feeling that actually happens. Like, it's not a joke.

A girlfriend of mine recently came out to me as bi. So now I periodically talk about us making out.

Me: "Now that I know you're gay, I'm going to joke about that a lot."

Her: "I'm not gay, I'm bi!"

Me: "We're all gay, sweetie, you're just quibbling about who you're gay FOR."

Shout out to all the people who commented on how secure I was in my masculinity that I could paint my nails and wear pink and hold purses and talk about women's shoes and die my hair green and purple and wear dresses and take estrogen and grow tits and cut off my penis and…

@terraboops @thejessiekirk

I think the point was not so much whether you're stealing it from a legal perspective, but that Mira wanted it valued, and that her family, CJ in particular, are continuing to do a lot of work that helps the community that would be nice to value as well. People started passing around FTW more like it was a flyer on the street and that kind of devalues both it and CJs current work. That's my read, anyway.

OMG I found a tweet from me 1 month before starting HRT and it's hysterical:

"I want small cute boobs, but women in my family are seriously top-heavy. I’m so screwed. 🤦🏽♀️"

What? Who the fuck are you? As soon as E hits you're gonna post obsessively about wanting boobs the size of the moon! 🤣

Once again, Black folk tried to tell y'all. 🙄

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/10/4chan-pushing-bing-dall-e-as-quick-methods-to-spread-racist-images/?utm_brand=arstechnica&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

It's fucking amazing to me that what is essentially a scene out of the now almost comical 80s gay scare has been painted over and submitted as a bill that democrats are voting to approve. Like, y'all just gonna throw people right under the bus and move on.

@tattie oh I was immediately better. Im still with my family, in a town im relatively safe in. And a huge fog cleared immediately on HRT. But the expectation is "100% rainbows and sunshine" and that's what im railing against.

Catra is a trans girl. :QueerCatHeart_Trans:

If three soccer moms are chatting about parenting at a game and one of them is a Trans woman, is she excluded from the conversation?

The answer is yes. 🙄

It's so funny how many of the people excited about shit like a brain implant are the same people who are like "You're taking hormones? Aren't you worried it's not reversible?" Bitch I'm growing tits, you're getting a private company to install shit in your brain they can just stop supporting whenever, I'm not the one you gotta worry about.

Dear all you lovely "I'm not racist" folks,

When a Black person says "You can thank me in cash" or "I'll take my apologies in cash," they are not "here asking for money."

What they are doing is pointedly calling out 400+ years of Black labor being free, whether in Slavery, lower wages, carceral prison slavery, emotional labor, or any other. There is a long and exceptionally well documented history of Black labor exploitation, and what that person is doing is speaking directly to that history, and identifying their place within it.

The irony is that, throughout that history, when Black people have pointed to those conditions, they have been called "lazy," "undeserving," "uneducated" and all kinds of other denigrations by people in power. One of those denigrations has always included "greedy." Even during slavery, working for free, Black people were called greedy.

So saying "here asking for money" is actually quite on-brand, you racist, simplistic fucking toadstool of a person.

Something that few white people understand is the effectiveness of silencing Black voices with the implied threat of violence (whether physical or emotional) in situations of social discord. Many white people see Black silence as agreement or consent, when it's in fact an attempt at maintaining personal safety.

See, I'm not gonna say shit about anything. Why? Because I fucking know what'll happen to me if I say fucking anything. And I don't have it within me right now to have that nightmare happen.

White people, as a whole, need to seriously consider their place in that kind of a system.

@anarchopunk_girl actually, this asshole is straight up Nazi adjacent. But, yeah, rare.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Clarke_(sheriff)#:~:text=Clarke%20has%20%22built%20a%20following,a%20controversial%20and%20polarizing%20figure.

I'm going to say this again, because I saw it come up elsewhere.

No, you racist assholes, Black men are not more homophobic or transphobic than white men. Stop with your racist bullshit.

In the week following 9/11, I wrote an essay about how America was facing a choice. By that time, I was already publishing essays and mostly had no problem getting published. So I wanted to have a compassionate voice be heard.

I wrote that we have a choice. We could continue on the course it seemed to be on, or we could choose compassion, understanding, and an acknowledgement that such actions do not happen in a vacuum and that America, also, has debts to pay. I wrote about how America could chose aggression and animosity, or we could chose love, compassion, understanding.

I could not get anyone to accept my essay, even places that accepted anything I wrote immediately turned it down. Some responses even called me out as anti-patriotic. In fact, I got kind of shadow blacklisted.

That's all I think about when 9/11 comes around every year. I will #NeverForget that America had a chance to choose peace and reconciliation, and instead chose hatred and war.