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   Terra: Chaos Lesbian (terra@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Friday, 27-Oct-2023 03:40:51 JST Terra: Chaos Lesbian

   "I could never be a girl."

   I said the same thing.

   Two years ago today, I was described by people as "A manly man." I was 6'2", buff, and deep voiced and shooting up Testosterone.

   Earlier this week, I was gazed at by two lesbians who stopped their conversation to watch me cross the street. (I will ride this high for weeks, BTW)

   Today, I was told by a man working on my house that I "Always look so elegant." The dudes have been working on our house for almost a month and have never seen me as anything other than an elegant woman.

   Two years ago I thought "I could never be a girl." Yet, today, I'm a girl.

   You can be a girl. Take the hormones, babe.

   • Embed this notice
     Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Friday, 27-Oct-2023 03:40:47 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @JoscelynTransient @Terra Ultimately, choosing to "just be a femme enby" was really just that. It was just admitting I could do it if I wanted to and being honest in following those desires.

     If someone's here on this thread having feelings, please know this-- you don't have to know where this is going to end up...you don't need a plan...you don't even need to make medical choices first. You can just get started with what's in your heart and hands right now.

   • Embed this notice
     Joscelyn Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Friday, 27-Oct-2023 03:40:49 JST Joscelyn Transpiring

     in reply to

     @Terra I was the same, and I had contorted and buried myself so well that not even my wife who is a trans woman professor of trans studies clocked me as an egg. To anyone who reads this and is wondering, if you want to be a girl, even if you don't think you could be, you can just be a girl.

   • Embed this notice
     Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Friday, 27-Oct-2023 04:38:51 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring
     • They who has yet to be named

     @interrupthandler @JoscelynTransient @Terra This is one of those things where you really can't know in advance. Who you are and what you want are things that are going to change specifically as factors of the process of transition. For example, I didn't know I was going to adopt such a strongly femme presentation, but I discovered the more subtle and in-between presentations I started with meant I was gendered as masc by the world, which made me feel unseen.

   • Embed this notice
     They who has yet to be named (interrupthandler@fosstodon.org)'s status on Friday, 27-Oct-2023 04:38:52 JST They who has yet to be named

     in reply to

     • Kit Rhett Aultman
     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @roadriverrail @JoscelynTransient @Terra Thank you. I'm definitely the kind of person reluctant to start something unless I have the whole thing mapped out. I keep telling myself to just take things one step at a time and let my feelings guide me as I go.

   • Embed this notice
     Kit Rhett Aultman (roadriverrail@signs.codes)'s status on Saturday, 28-Oct-2023 02:21:34 JST Kit Rhett Aultman

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring
     • They who has yet to be named

     @interrupthandler @JoscelynTransient @Terra Just so you know, I am 4 years into my transition. Wrote a huge piece for National Coming Out Week on how my workplace has supported me in transition. Just spent a week in Europe where every stranger assumed I was a woman. Encourage others.

     And still sometimes at night, especially if weed has been involved, a voice in my head says "Oh, just give up. Nobody believes you. It's too much work. It'd be easier to give up."

     Those doubts are durable.

   • Embed this notice
     They who has yet to be named (interrupthandler@fosstodon.org)'s status on Saturday, 28-Oct-2023 02:21:35 JST They who has yet to be named

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @JoscelynTransient @Terra Thank you both. And sorry Jocelyn that I keep spamming you 😅 Terra's post and your reply helped me. The past couple days and especially today I've been struggling with the spiral of "Yes, I want to be a girl, let's do this! Wait, no, there's no way I could pull it off. Do I even REALLY want to be a girl? Eh, I'm NB and will just present more feminine. But am I even NB? I've been comfortable enough as a boy. But when I imagine myself as a girl I get excited? I want it?"