Notices by Taco Dave (dave@puz.fun)

Ugh, that disappointing feeling when the straight friend you have a crush on triples down on his straightness by *not only* smiling and saying he’s flattered but not interested in a BJ, BUT THEN he not only gets a girlfriend, he MARRIES her AND has a kid and posts happy family vacation photos?!

RUDE.

/s. Ish.

@mattl a veteran-owned company that makes t-shirts and patches and stuff for mil-bros with a good heart but a dark sense of humor.

I can’t be held responsible for the investments I make when I’m horny and idealistic.

@mattl these fucking AI bots replying with misinformation…

Why is my brain such a piece of shit

@ai6yr TIL. Apparently one of my favorite plaid shirts is a women’s style button-wise.

@MaxUK @ai6yr

I’m in front, pic is me in a yellow plaid shirt and yellow bandana with the cast of Wham City Comedy behind me.

@mattl is the Cummy Pumpkin made with real cum?

@mattl I’ve heard of it but haven’t looked into it much. I started down the WooCommerce path already, not sure if I wanna ditch the effort so far to switch, but I’ll give it a look.

Shopify is too expensive and I’m not making enough to break even for the cost of using it, so I think at the end of the month I’m not going to renew it. I’m working on moving to WooCommerce but in the meantime, if anyone has a free bucks and wants some stickers, patches, buttons, or puzzle books, I’d appreciate the business!

https://store.davegoesthedistance.com/

#SmallBiz #FediShop

@mattl TEMPLEOS NOW BLOCK ME IN BULK MFER

@mattl see, this is the problem with you fucking people. I was born in 1988. And now I’m living in a state of near-constant suffering because y’all decided in 1987 to make a weird half-ass database thing instead of giving my mom a roundhouse kick to the belly so she’d miscarry me.

@mattl well if it’s from a database of emotions then why not just use an ENUM that can be mapped to emoji in the UI?

@mattl so emoji reacts?

@mattl get it? It’s a double bad joke because not only is it a bad joke on its surface but then it also exemplifies the dumbed-down, meaningless, mostly-ephemeral short form content that has replaced the web of real meaningful content that we used to love.

And you can click/tap a dopamine release mechanism on the app to manipulate my brain chemistry in exchange for having read my bad joke! It might be shaped like a star or a heart or literally any other battle-hardened UI resource!

@mattl well maybe the web wouldn’t be in this situation if Tim Berners-Lee didn’t eat so much fucking avocado toast.

@mattl that’s good. I’d like to have something like that to keep my mind busy but my mind is broken and I accidentally poured my entire personality into hobbies that deal with the parts of my body that are failing me like my brain and taste buds.

@mattl yeah and honestly most days I wonder why I even bother with that part anymore — continued existence just feels like the result of sunken cost fallacy.

I used to be a foodie but since starting #Ozempic I don’t get any joy from food anymore. (Or anything else for that matter.) And now I kinda feel like I can never go to a hibachi place because it would be like creating needless labor and spectacle for naught. Like what’s the point? It’s a life experience that I took away from myself through my own reckless overeating and nothing matters. Not even trying to catch shrimp in my mouth.

Has the swipe keyboard on iOS been absolutely garbage for anyone else lately? It’s like for the last year or so it’s gotten dramatically worse at picking the word I want to use. Or any word that makes contextual sense tbh.