Notices by Jonty Wareing (jonty@chaos.social)

Slightly concerned our new toaster is actually a claymore mine

It's What3Words accounts filing day 🎉

The good news! They reduced yearly losses to £10.6m from £16.4m, and turnover increased from £1m to £2.1m!

The bad news! They achieved this by laying off 36 staff, and that £1m increase is probably from a single EU client.

They have £15m in assets remaining

Given they have a year to go at best, they'll be trying to raise money again.

DO NOT INVEST IN THE W3W CROWDCUBE. They've done it three times now, and I expect they'll do it again out of desperation. You will lose all of your money.

I am trapped inside some kind of nightmare trying to rearrange a delivery that won't fit through our postbox.

What are we having delivered? A larger postbox.

In case of emergency: A map of every capybara in the UK and France

https://www.google.com/maps/@/data=!4m3!11m2!2s8x4VZIBoZrTUaKNCwPtUM_DWiQmlEA!3e3?utm_source=mstt_0

I feel sorry for young people who will never experience the intense satisfaction of pressing a CRT monitor degauss button

Has anyone told them

Reminder: Just because someone is posting on social media a lot, visibly doing projects, and otherwise looks like they're living their best life

1) Does not mean they are ok - social media is often a distraction and an escape valve

2) Does not mean they are ignoring you - they may be overwhelmed and incapable of handling messages

This prehistoric fish wishes you a happy Wednesday

Turns out the cure for impostor syndrome is discovering quite how incompetent the person who previously did the job was

Unpopular opinion: Dogs do not belong in shared offices. I will not change my mind.

would anybody like a KEEP EARTH WEIRD sticker because I have a lot of KEEP EARTH WEIRD stickers

Honestly the funniest thing I've seen this year. I know it's only mid-January, but still.

you had ONE JOB

Things I regret: Looking at github issues for the open-source self-driving car conversion kit.

Thousands of people use these things on public roads.

https://github.com/commaai/openpilot/issues/34346

Candidate for understatement of the year: "This can be a safety issue if a driver is misled into thinking that steering is occurring"

The most damning evidence I've ever seen for "this device is only used by single people":

If you have a passenger they *also* have to be looking at the road or it sets off the "pay attention" alarm.

Or they can put their head on the dashboard.

You can say "Threads is an apocalyptic drama which causes psychological damage" and accurately describe both Threads (1984 British TV film) and Threads (2023 Social Network)

My TV show pitch is Storage Wars but with abandoned S3 buckets

Applause for the marketing team who turned this bug into a feature