Notices by Rev. Onan Canobite, SubGenius (onan@dobbs.town)

"Across the 20-year period, participants [1,339,160 Internet respondents] who completed the survey more recently reported a lower need for uniqueness, particularly in terms of not wanting to defend their beliefs in public forums and caring more about what others think about them."

https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.121937

Rebuilding the Tower of Babel as a spiral strip mine downward.

:jrbd: https://SubGenius.com

Interviewer: What type of legacy would you like to leave behind when it's all said and done?

"When a raven happens to croak unluckily, don't allow the appearance hurry you away with it, but immediately make the distinction to yourself, and say, 'None of these things are foretold to me; but either to my paltry body, or property, or reputation, or children, or wife. But to me all omens are lucky, if I will. For whichever of these things happens, it is in my control to derive advantage from it.'"

Epictetus, "The Enchiridion"

What is slack?

:jrbd: https://SubGenius.com

Do you often agree with yourself, or does it take some work?

Attention! You've got a captive audience in your own head. Take advantage of this sales opportunity!

The Church of the SubGenius doesn't advise you to stop telling lies. Oh no. We say tell yourself a better sort of lie!

The past doesn't exist, there's no need to keep your records of the bad stuff accurate. Memory Editing is approved by "Bob" !

Hack Conspiracy programing into your own (h)app(iness).

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

SubGenius influencers (sinfluencers) have been exhibiting a shocking level of what can only be called “mind control” over their own lives. Through a fantastic set of almost magical techniques in ‘Tend Like, the miracle of the Short Duration Personal Savior (or ShirDurPerSav), and a direct “B” line to slack, the SubGenius takes over his or her own mental and emotional autonomy!

You can’t buy that kind of social credit. But “Bob” can, when you JOIN…

The Church of the SubGenius

Unretouched photograph of Baron Munchausen raising up not only himself but also his horse Bucephalus out of the mire by pulling his own pigtail.

CAN YOU HOLD YOURSELF TO ANY LESS OF A STANDARD?

"What will I feel pain with when my rotten tooth is removed?"

The point is not to re-distribute that pain to a new source, but to stop the problem.

When you join the Church of the SubGenius you won't be looking for ways to fill the time you used to spend in meaningless toil nor in meaningless leisure.

You'll have TIME CONTROL - making it expand, contract, run backwards, speed up, slow down, have parallel and orthogonal streams.

Wait and see - you "already" do!

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

(a) What is good? If "Bob" is making profitable sales.

(b) When does "Bob" make profitable sales? At all times.

Therefore (c) all times are good.

GOOD FOR "BOB".

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

There are some species of mushroom that contain a precise sequence of nutrients such that if you eat one, you'll never have to eat another meal for the rest of your life.

:jrbd: 🍄 https://subgenius.com

@djsumdog

Kung Fu Cooking Girls (Jin Roh 2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgGhGyHqaPw

:jrbd:

Beware false prophets!

Beware the true ones, too!

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

I met a guy the other day who said as software-generated video, audio and images get more convincing, there's going to be a general mistrust of all things online.

I think the money is on people redoubling stridency about what they want to believe is real, and generating evidence for it after the fact.

The Church of the SubGenius has decades of success in pulling the wool over our own eyes and relaxing in the safety of our own delusions. JOIN...

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

If you can get the other guy debating about the topic you pick, then it hardly matters what either of you say - the other guy is debating about the topic you picked, and if you picked well you picked a topic where you also defined the victory conditions of the debate. The other guy is playing YOUR game.

That's why you should ALWAYS be talking about J. R. "Bob" Dobbs and refuse to engage in any conversation that does not center around The Church of the SubGenius.

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

Source unknown, timeless message.

:jrbd:

The orchestrated enthusiasm of political MISPLACETRIOTISM has worn thin! You’re ready for the kind of sincere mania that only religion can deliver.

The Church of the SubGenius is the greatest mail-order mind control cult on the market today at this price range!

Be a fanatic FOR or AGAINST anything, and alternate between the two as it gives you slack to do so! Zealous indifference? IT IS AN OPTION… to the SubGenius.

Infinite short duration personal saviors!

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

When you're a member of the Church of the SubGenius, you never again have to rely on independent attestation to your beliefs or preferences. As long as J. R. "Bob" Dobbs is smiling, you're right in whatever you're thinking or doing at that moment. And the moments before and after don't matter.

Imagine using "truth" as a social bond... as ridiculous and tedious as complaining as a social bond. WHO CARES what others think?

INFINITE SHORT DURATION PERSONAL SAVIORS.

:jrbd: https://subgenius.com

You never know who is listening to your prayers. What gods might intercept and what will they do with that slack-energy?

We definitely don't pray to J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. But we might have a little conversation with him. Something like this...

Okay, "Bob", I'm ready. I know that whatever comes next, it'll be to your benefit and I'll have avoided some other thing that was to neither of our benefit. May a crumb from your table occasionally fall into my upturned and shrieking face.

Ch-ching. :jrbd:

@alex More cross-network work. "The Verge and 404 Media are building out new functions that would allow them to distribute posts on their sites and on federated platforms – like Threads, Mastodon and Bluesky – at the same time. Replies to those posts on those platforms become comments on their sites."

https://digiday.com/media/why-publishers-are-preparing-to-federate-their-sites/