social media networks are the big temporary tenants that lease the abandoned shopping malls and build indoor amusement parks and night clubs hoping they'll be able to make enough money on advertising and selling recordings of customers that they can branch out into other ways to make money. people often have a really good time until they don't and then realize that they've been taken advantage of throughout the relationship. but they had a good enough time enough of the time that when they find out there's a new abandoned shopping mall amusement park opening up they head on over and see if it is a place in which good times can be had too, because now there's a lack in their life.
the fediverse is a bunch of shitty cheap empty lots a few thousand people lease and drop empty shipping containers on for people to hang out in and chill and set up little chat groups and art displays and carve pathways between some of the shipping containers and block easy travel to other shipping containers and various shipping containers lose their leases and get yanked out but other shipping containers get added. people have absolutely no chance of having a good time unless they already know someone in the weird scene and put up with the fact that literally anyone can just drop a shipping container in this area and start trying to shape the experience in that area. eventually people sometimes have some really good times and some really horrible times and a bunch of times that are meh. nobody's in charge, the shipping container suppliers are poorly tooled for handling the needs and wants of a diverse group of decidedly not shipping magnates, and the whole place has some weird smells. the amalgamated joint turns off a lot of people, but some people find other people and groups of the shipping containers that are nice enough that it makes it worth it for them to deal with the creeps and the smells and to try and figure out how to make it less creepy and smelly.
I don't think you're ever going to turn one of those models into the other in ways that accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative because I don't think they're trying to solve the same problems.
setting folks' expectations that the fediverse is not social media would go a long way, but so would setting folks' expectations that commercial social media is not social media either.