Mind blown. You can run IBM #zos on a PC with a personal edition license.
https://www.ibm.com/docs/en/zdt/14.2.x?topic=personal-edition
And it has IBM #COBOL inside it. I don't understand why this was so hard for me to find. Looks like I need a new machine (linux host, 1tb drive space and then enough oomph to run a VM)