@soatok One of the reasons I'm grateful for LGBT people being as normalized as they are, even if it's not perfect, is that I (also ace-spec) kinda detest that "default" culture of how MLM treat each other, and if I could *only* be non-het-by-default in spaces they dominate, I'd never be able to sort through their noise to find someone I was actually interested in.
It'd be nice if men could be more normal about relationships with other people, regardless of gender. I can't even deny there's an appeal to some of the underlying dynamics, but a lot of people don't seem to understand that it's fundamentally a fiction layered on top of the fact that there's a *person* with their own feelings on the other end.