Notices by monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party), page 5

@Mrfunkedude Lol yeah, to be clear Iʼm an atheist and donʼt actually believe he (or anyone else) is the antichrist. And people having as much money as him for doing stunts on YouTube, and the need to fix things like people not being able to afford cataract surgery, are both systemic problems that should not exist. But among people who are in a position to move that much money around, he seems to have chosen to use his powers (mostly) for good.

Mr. Beast is going around curing the blind now. What if he is literally the antichrist? Motherfuckers spend two millennia poring over Revelations trying to figure out *what it all means* and then the Beast shows up all like

Oh you like birds? Birds ain’t your little pal. They will FUCK you up

Oh, you yacht rock? Thatʼs cool. But do you city pop?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP3idXQs12o

*leans seductively over computer* Oh no, my data is so /dirty/. Isnʼt there anyone who can give it a good /munging/?

Sometimes people are mean to me online, and I have to remind them of the acronym DBMTMO:

Don’t
Be
Mean
To
Monkeyborg
Online

@Mrfunkedude This happens to me on social media a lot. Like, I will see a post that I think is funny and go to boost or fav it and see that the post is months old and I already did. And then Iʼm like, what? No! I have never seen this before in my life!

Also, when I was still on FB it would show me years-old things that I had posted that I didnʼt remember writing and which didnʼt even sound like they were written in my voice.

This morning I got on an elevator going up from the ground floor. A woman got on at the same time.

She got off on the third floor. I continued on to mine.

Several hours later, I got in the elevator to go down.

It stops on the third floor and the same woman gets in. She looks at me funny.

Me: “Yep, been in here the whole time.”

An overeducated East Coast urban elitist I may be, but before you assume thereʼs anything I donʼt know about because of the bubble my head is stuck in, ask yourself if your elementary school field days ended with greased pig chases. Mine did.

cursed toilet

@kinetix @hypolite I think we would all rather see people paid appropriately. But in the meantime, the system we have places the burden of compensating the server on the customer.

I’m not trying to guilt-trip anyone. Most people prefer to be generous when they can afford to be. It feels good. You’re doing the server a favor when you tip well, but also yourself.

U.S. friends: if you can afford dinner at a nice restaurant, odds are good that you can afford to leave a big enough tip to make your server’s night

Iʼm not counting cryptocurrency out just yet. The human species has amply demonstrated that just because something is total bullshit doesnʼt mean it canʼt be built into a self-sustaining institution by sheer force of idiot will.