The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing people that he actually exists and isn’t just a metaphor for the evil that people are capable of doing on their own
Notices by monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Tuesday, 04-Jun-2024 00:13:12 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Friday, 24-May-2024 23:39:43 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
This is just to say
I have eaten
the glue
that Google
suggestedand which
you were probably
saving
for pizzaForgive me
it was nontoxic
so sticky
and so cold -
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Friday, 24-May-2024 05:08:03 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@BeAware Iʼm pretty sure if that were the case I would have heard about it. Look man, sometimes you guys make it too easy, but I canʼt feed on the powerless when my cupʼs already overfilled.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Friday, 24-May-2024 04:52:59 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@BeAware I donʼt know who Eddie Vedder is, but I know he died of drugs
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Friday, 24-May-2024 03:48:07 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
God, I wish Eddie Vedder was still alive to see this moment
“We allege that Live Nation relies on unlawful, anticompetitive conduct to exercise its monopolistic control over the live events industry in the United States at the cost of fans, artists, smaller promoters, and venue operators,” Attorney General Merrick Garland said in a statement. “… It is time to break up Live Nation-Ticketmaster.”
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Tuesday, 14-May-2024 22:26:24 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
I like it when a singer says “guitar!” in the middle of a song, and then a guitar solo starts. How did they know that was going to happen?
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Wednesday, 28-Feb-2024 18:16:44 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@faraiwe Added alt text.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Wednesday, 28-Feb-2024 05:37:14 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
Donald Trump is older than Joe Biden was in 2020, when Republicans said Biden was too old to run. And yet they are overwhelmingly voting for Trump in the primary over younger candidates. Curious 🤔
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Monday, 27-Nov-2023 22:31:51 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
Dot matrix printers were it, y’all. Want to print a single line of text? Ka-ching. Want to print a 7-foot-long “Happy Birthday” banner? I got you, fam.
Plus remember how satisying it was to tear the tracks off?
Out of ink? No problem, you can get a couple pages more, they’ll just be a little lighter, that’s all.
We gave it all away.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Friday, 18-Aug-2023 21:40:23 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
I canʼt believe I have to tell people this, but
- Donʼt buy smart home shit
- Donʼt download an app to get a free smoothie
- Donʼt sign up for something you heard about in a piece of junk mail
- Donʼt create an account with fucking McDonald's or Chipotleʼs or whatever
- Donʼt use a coupon or a discount for something you werenʼt going to buy anyway
- Donʼt sign up for free trials
- Donʼt let the devil in through the front door
- Donʼt let them sell you anythingYou will not come out ahead.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Thursday, 16-Mar-2023 04:18:35 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
All of us are out here just trying to find the marble in the oatmeal, hoping to drink deep from the firehose of life
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Wednesday, 15-Mar-2023 23:40:33 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@Mrfunkedude I hope she gets her dream, but she may have to muscle her way in to do it. The folks at my local Costco have worked there like 15 or 20 years. I used to live nextdoor to some of them, and the whole family was working there.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Wednesday, 15-Mar-2023 23:38:39 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
Well, stick a feather in my cap.
> Macaronic language uses a mixture of languages, particularly bilingual puns or situations in which the languages are otherwise used in the same context (rather than simply discrete segments of a text being in different languages).
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Tuesday, 14-Mar-2023 09:34:58 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
They trying to pin all this on me but I ain’t going down like a punk ass bitch ass ass bitch punk ass bunk pitch pass ass punk
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Tuesday, 14-Mar-2023 04:18:12 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
This man is now a three-time Academy Award winner, and we are all richer for it.
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Monday, 13-Mar-2023 23:36:05 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
If Weird Al did a parody of a They Might Be Giants track, would it just be a regular boring pop song?
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Monday, 13-Mar-2023 00:49:30 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
Guy on the Radio: Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys
Me (I am five): This is madness. How dare he
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Saturday, 11-Mar-2023 13:07:29 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@Mrfunkedude They call it “grimdark” to draw attention to the lack of cold beer and readily grabbable lunch meats
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Saturday, 11-Mar-2023 13:01:27 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@Mrfunkedude Like sci-fi but in the past when they didn’t have refrigerators
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monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party)'s status on Saturday, 11-Mar-2023 12:55:26 JST monkϵyborg 🦾🐵
@Mrfunkedude One of those shows with like dragons and elves and shit but with boobs. Got to check it out man it’s on like Netflix or whatever. More people need to watch it so it doesn’t get cancelled before we find out what happens to the wizard