Notices by Tuckers Nuts Resist! 😈 (jstatepost@mstdn.social)

@liferstate @philip_cardella
🥥 Guillotines for billionaires, guillotines for peace. </Sarcasm?> 🥥

🥥 What to say when you contact your members of the US House and Senate:
"Hello, my name is [NAME] and I live in [TOWN, STATE].
I am a constituent.
I am urging the Senator/Representative to do X, because Y.
Thank you."
For a lot more helpful tips like this one, there's THIS article:
https://emilyinyourphone.substack.com/p/everything-you-need-to-know-about
🥥
#USPolitics #CallingCongress #Advocacy #TuckersBalls

🥥 Happy Not MY Presidents Day to all my fellow US-ians who celebrate it.
And greetings and salutations of the day to all the former US Presidents who are turning over in their graves today. 🥥
#USPolitics #PresidentsDay #NotMYPresidentsDay #TuckersBalls

🥥 Remember Luigi?
Alleged health insurance exec slayer Luigi Mangione has made his first public statement since his arrest in the December 2024 CEO shooting. His attorneys have set up a web page for him.
Mangione says he is overwhelmed and grateful for the support he's been from people who've been paying attention to his case.
https://www.salon.com/2025/02/15/i-am-overwhelmed-mangione-shares-first-public-statement-since-arrest-in-ceo/
🥥
#LuigiMangione #HealthInsurance #TuckersBalls

🥥 Musk says he's discovered a huge fraud in the White House Oval Office.
“Elon has been going through things,” Trump said. “He said that the fraud turned up in 2017, went away in 2021, but now it’s back again.”
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-says-musk-has-found-huge-fraud
#Satire #USGovernment #USPolitics #TuckersBalls

🥥 Zero-sized Consumer Financial Protection Bureau staffers leave epic press-release behind as they're drummed out of service.
A sample:
"CFPB Union members welcome our newest colleagues and look forward to the smell of Axe Body Spray in our elevators. While Acting Director Bessent allows Musk's operatives to bypass cybersecurity policies and wreak havoc with their amateur code skills inside CFPB's once-secure systems..."
https://www.wonkette.com/p/this-press-release-from-the-cfpb
🥥
#USGov #CFPB #Musk #Axe #TuckersBalls

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye, for one, have always wanted to own a Martian Guitar, Mr Facts. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye'm going to presume that the Vikings' microchips were the secret to their legendary ability to navigate the seas, Mr Facts. 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Are all 12 of Gwyneth Paltrow's children grills, Mr Facts? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Love always wins a potato, Mr Facts.
Love is potato.
It's SCIENCE! 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Eye'm bored.
Can Eye chair this meeting, Mr Facts? 🥥

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Many people are saying, Mr Facts, that the ink used to write the Bible was derived from Mandarin oranges. 🥥

🧵 Thread 31/X
🥥 Compare and contrast.
The descent of the office of the President of the United States from 1960 to 2025.
Eye was alive when President Kennedy was elected in 1960, ushering in an era known as Camelot with his lovely first lady Jacqueline,
On Monday, January 20, 2025, the curtain goes up on Little Shop of Horrors. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #TheKennedys #Trump #Melania #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 9/X
🥥 Putin's poodle.
Manipulated photograph shows Russian leader Vladimir Putin walking Trump on a leash like a dog.
As you hear about the developments of the next 4 years, it will help you to decipher them if you ask the question, "How does this benefit Putin"? 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Putin #Trump #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 10/x
🥥 Remember, brave, brave Sir Donald is holding his inauguration indoors on January 20th because attendance is going to be low; not because the weather is going to be cold.
People who had received inauguration invitations -- for whom there is no room -- are being told that their tickets are just non-functional souvenirs. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Crowds #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 11/X
🥥 Satirist Andy Borowitz offers a list of great moments in Republican history to watch instead of Monday's Inauguration 2.0. He also gives a reminder that the sequel to a bad movie is usually an even worse movie:
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/what-to-watch-instead-of-the-inauguration
🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #AndyBorowitz #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 12/X
🥥 You'll be seeing a lot of these 2 people over the next 4 years. This is just a reminder that if you don't watch the inauguration, you won't see them on Monday, January 20th. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Trump #Vance #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 13/X
🥥 Things to do on inauguration day instead of watching the shit-show: Ladies, buy your burkas. The incoming administration is on track to make women second-class citizens. So to comply in advance with the American Taliban, use Monday, January 20th, to purchase the outfits you're soon going to be ordered to wear.
Project 2025 is the 900+ page document considered the blueprint for the 2nd Trump administration. Many of its contributors have been given roles in the new Trump regime. 🥥

🧵 Thread 14/X
🥥 Let the in-fighting begin!
Your reminder that before the crypto money-bros convinced Trump to name JD Vance as his Vice President, Vance wrote that Trump could be America's Hitler. 🥥
#USPolitics #Inauguration #InaugurationSurvivalKit #Trump #Vance #TuckersBalls

🧵 Thread 15/X
🥥 Things to do rather than watch the inauguration, McDonald's Edition.
Buy stock in the burger-making chain. It's bound to go up during the 2nd term of its biggest booster. 🥥