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   Airstrip One News (forbritain@alive.bar)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 21:40:33 JST Airstrip One News

   In praise of narcissism – why we should not be afraid of putting our wishes before those of others

   The expression ‘narcissist’ is invariably used today in a pejorative and negative sense, almost as an insult. Research shows though that narcissists tend to be a lot happier than other people.
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA5_xO9Db08

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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 21:40:33 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to
     @ForBritain Narcissism isn't about putting yourself first. A person who constantly puts the needs of others before their own (especially if these are in conflict) is either low-esteem or doing it to achieve some sort of victimhood/martyrdom status (which is also narcissistic).
     A healthy self-regard to ones talents, abilities, skills, needs, wants and desires is not narcissistic.
     Narcissism is about being self-obsessed and blind to the needs of anyone else so they are not even in the equation. It often comes with sociopathy and Machiavellianism which makes it especially nasty.
     GNU Too likes this.
     GNU Too repeated this.
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     Matron of the ninth circle (grumpyoldnurse@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:09:35 JST Matron of the ninth circle

     in reply to

     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain I wish people would stop using clinical terms in casual conversation, especially since they usually get the clinical term wrong.
     
     Ahem.
     
     Not all assholes are psychopaths.
     
     Not everyone who is manipulative is a sociopath.
     
     Not everyone who acts weird is psychotic.
     
     Not everyone who is selfish is a narcissist.
     
     Not everyone with rigid habits has OCD. Or Asperger's.
     
     Not everyone who is distractable has ADD/ADHD.
     
     Anyway, I'll hop off my soapbox now...
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     PohlMe (pohlme@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:10:27 JST PohlMe

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     @GrumpyOldNurse @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain Majority of introverts are not autistic. Just saying. It seems that anybody who is not friendly enough is either Racist or Autist these days.
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     PohlMe (pohlme@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:10:33 JST PohlMe

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • PohlMe
     @GrumpyOldNurse @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain Also, the high functioning autist is not a genius. Just saying. Most of them are average. I know 1 who is above average and like 20 who are average. There is a lot of HFA in gaming industry, their dangerous obsessiveness (fixations) is sadly too easy to abuse for tech companies 🤬
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     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:10:45 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • PohlMe

     @PohlMe @GrumpyOldNurse @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain They all love their labels 🙄

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     BILLSan345 (billsan345@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:11:02 JST BILLSan345

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     @GrumpyOldNurse @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain Always good to be reminded, and I like it that all your examples are conditional.
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     Matron of the ninth circle (grumpyoldnurse@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:11:06 JST Matron of the ninth circle

     in reply to

     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345
     @BILLSan345 @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain Thanks. It might be a niche concern on my part, but I feel it leads to misunderstandings and both hyperbole of normative behavior and minimization of pathological behavior.
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     BILLSan345 (billsan345@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:11:13 JST BILLSan345

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     @GrumpyOldNurse @KeepTakingTheSoma @ForBritain You're right -those are two useful gateposts to guide us towards clearer/better communication.
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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:12:18 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • BILLSan345
     @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain You're not wrong. There has been far too much pathologising of normal life experiences. Schools often encourage it, because they love a label.
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     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:14:10 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345

     @KeepTakingTheSoma @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain Everyone is speshul and super sensitive and unable to cope with any level of normal life, excessively performative about it all too, being cheered on and excused doesn't help them either.

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     GNU Too (gnu2@gnusocial.jp)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:16:24 JST GNU Too

     in reply to

     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     @KeepTakingTheSoma there's a whole lot of self-diagnosis too.
     Matron of the ninth circle and KeepTakingTheSoma like this.
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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:22:14 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • BILLSan345
     @HebrideanHecate @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain I have met two people (a mother and daughter) who exhibited these nasty traits. Between the two of them they nearly destroyed a local drama group with lies and slander. It was so obvious that the daughter in particular needed to be adored by everyone in the way her mother adored her, or the people who weren't paying sufficient homage were clearly out to get her and needed to be destroyed. I felt sorry for her because I think she genuinely couldn't see the world in any way except with her at the centre of it. But her victim fantasy and her mother's eagerness to believe her and deal with those who *upset* her caused so much damage.
     I've also met no end of people who cling to their labels to excuse shitty behaviour, or just to make themselves feel important. Covid encouraged this, as did intersectional politics.
     We live in strange times.
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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:22:36 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • GNU Too
     @gnu2 Tik Tok Docs.
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     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:23:43 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345

     @KeepTakingTheSoma @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain I hate people like that, always have, and there seems to be so many of them now.

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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:31:35 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • BILLSan345
     @HebrideanHecate @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain It's how purity spirals proliferate.
     Back in the feudal days, the only way to be special was to be pious. We were all down at the bottom of life's pecking order, but you could show God and your fellow man how obedient you were.
     This has replaced God. Now they can show everyone how devoted they are to social justice by elevating the oppressed and denouncing the oppressor (just with shouting and posting of course). There's no upper level, so eventually they run out of people to cancel and turn on each other for not being woke enough.
     But it has to be public for it to matter, which is why we get the teddies and flowers from people who have no connection with an incident, the hashtags #standwithwhatever, and all the attendant nonsense. In an attention economy, if you're not speaking up in the approved way, how will anyone know how wonderful you are? And if you're not wonderful then you must be evil and it will serve you right if you get destroyed.
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     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:54:25 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345

     @KeepTakingTheSoma @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain I cannot tell you how stomach turning I find the whole acres of crap left where someone died. The whole Diana debacle was a national embarrassment, appalling behaviour.

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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Sunday, 16-Feb-2025 23:55:22 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • BILLSan345
     @HebrideanHecate @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain I blame Blair and his acolytes for that one. Deliberate manipulation of public emotional responses to advance political power.
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     Matron of the ninth circle (grumpyoldnurse@spinster.xyz)'s status on Monday, 17-Feb-2025 00:50:31 JST Matron of the ninth circle

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345
     @KeepTakingTheSoma @HebrideanHecate @BILLSan345 @ForBritain Manipulators going to manipulate.
     
     That's the big problem, IMHO, parasitism tends to pay better and offer greater social advancement than working for a living.
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     Matron of the ninth circle (grumpyoldnurse@spinster.xyz)'s status on Monday, 17-Feb-2025 00:51:05 JST Matron of the ninth circle

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345
     @HebrideanHecate @KeepTakingTheSoma @BILLSan345 @ForBritain There's a big difference between being unable to interact "normally" because of illness or divergence and choosing to be hard to get along with.
     
     At the same time, I try, personally, in my personal interactions, to not be judgy about it because 1) it can be hard to tell the difference as an outsider and 2) the difficult behavior serves some kind of psychological need for the person, no matter how difficult it can be to negotiate socially around toxic people.
     
     Anyway. This sort of thing is why I don't enjoy interacting with people very much.
     KeepTakingTheSoma likes this.
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     HebrideanHecate (hebrideanhecate@spinster.xyz)'s status on Monday, 17-Feb-2025 00:51:29 JST HebrideanHecate

     in reply to

     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • KeepTakingTheSoma
     • BILLSan345

     @KeepTakingTheSoma @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain It was absolutely disgusting to witness. Horrified me.

     KeepTakingTheSoma likes this.
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     KeepTakingTheSoma (keeptakingthesoma@spinster.xyz)'s status on Monday, 17-Feb-2025 00:52:02 JST KeepTakingTheSoma

     in reply to

     • HebrideanHecate
     • Matron of the ninth circle
     • BILLSan345
     @HebrideanHecate @GrumpyOldNurse @BILLSan345 @ForBritain I think I can date my general disappointment in people to this event.