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   💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:13:40 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

   Being bipolar is either being so anxious that you wanna off yourself or being so depressed you wanna off yourself and never being able to find a middle ground.

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:23:54 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino No and no. There is no cure for Bipolar disorder and it more or less destroys any kind of positive relationships you could possibly have. Bipolar sufferers are extremely unlikely to ever develop any kind of support system.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:23:56 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp :( I hope you find a way to deal with it in a more positive way! And that you have some nice people around you that can help you a bit on that way.

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:33:23 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino I have nobody around me but people I hate, if you have the money to help me move great, if not changing that is not happening.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:33:25 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp I'm really not an expert, but I hope that it's not completely hopeless. People sometimes say "extremely unlikely" and then it turns out to happen anyways. Do you have some people around you? If not, I'm sure it's possible to change that, and that it would help a lot. And what medical support can you get?

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:50:49 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino find a way to do what?

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 07:50:51 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp I literally spend my money in order to make me move atm, as I cannot use my feet for the next months. But what has money to do with hating people? I'm sure that all stupid trivial hints that I could give you are worthless in your situation. But I'm positive that you will find a way eventually! I would like that a lot!

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:03:27 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino I'm 36, I have no family, no friends no support system, the best medications available do little but take the edge off, I've never been happy and I feel as if I never will be.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:03:29 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp To find ways to deal with it somehow, without having major problems, without hating everybody, and with a little more happiness. Many people have some kind of medical troubles to withstand, and it's often impressive to me how they find their ways. It might take some time. But it's worth it. I'm sure that your situation isn't easy as well. And again, I'll not bother you with trivial stupid hints. But be strong! Do you want to tell me details about your particular issue? Just if you want!

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:14:00 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino I never managed to get a drivers license my anxiety is massive and I would be a liability if I tried to drive

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:14:02 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp Well, I'm 40, no family (I never wanted that, though), and all good friends that I had are basically gone now, as they all started family things, moved away, etc, and all became kind of pointless as actual friends. They were funny and cool back then, but nowadays, the highlight is a barbecue with their family on a Sunday. Last time I lost my drivers license for a month as I wanted home too fast. ^^

     Isn't there something that makes you laugh?

     If medicine doesn't help, you must be you med.

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:24:32 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino not really. Also I tried support group it was really toxic and it made me wanna die even more. It less that I wanna kill myself and more that I have no real motivation to wanna live anymore. I have nothing to do and no goals I feel worth achieving I'm basically just killing time until I get hit by a truck.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:24:33 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp Isn't it also about what you tell yourself? Maybe try to tell you a bit less that you want to die. It's obviously not true, as you are still alive. You want to be happier, actually, right? Aren't there ways to meet other people with similar troubles, so one can support each other? As a first step. Do you have any more positive wishes than dying? Focussing on those might also give you some emotional energy?!

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:40:54 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino I haven't had a job in over a decade I've been rotting on SSDI. the last video game I played for more than an hour was Dungeons of Hinterberg it was fine

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 08:40:55 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp My feeling is that everything would be solvable (to some extent) if you would try to less tell yourself it isn't. What jobs have you tried? What was the last video game you played for longer than an hour? And how were those other affected people toxic? Toxic is a strong word. Maybe you use it too much. You believe yourself too much maybe.

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 09:00:43 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino its been over a decade since I've even looked. I loathe support groups always have. would probably rather be dead than have it sit through another one.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 09:00:45 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp You would really do me a favor if you go to that support group again. Not only once, but at least 10 times. If there are multiple ones, choose a different one than last time. Otherwise the same is also fine. You don't want to continue rotting! ;) You don't want that. And you don't have to. I have to rot here atm, at least until the year ends, but I'll be happy when it ends. Although I have my troubles as well, as I said. Do they meet weekly? When?

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     💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro: (rasp@raru.re)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 09:08:22 JST 💜 DetectaBeryl 🩷 :bunRetro:

     in reply to

     • pino

     @pino I'm not going to torture myself for your amusement.

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     pino (pino@social.cologne)'s status on Sunday, 03-Nov-2024 09:08:23 JST pino

     in reply to

     @Rasp That's just something that you tell yourself since ages, good enough that you started to believe yourself. Admittedly, I even know what you meaning. The beginning is probably inconvenient and annoying. As visiting the dentist is. But in the end it's still much much better than rotting. Stop telling yourself wrong statements about what you want and what you don't want and that you want to die. And instead collect yourself, go there, give it a fair chance, and then think again next year.