Notices by Alice McFlurry :bc: (alice@beige.party), page 6

Keep your chin up and maintain a positive mental attitude because you can do anything you want when your wealthy family is funding your lifestyle!

Related: I will absolutely judge you if you patronize Chick-fil-A. Stop supporting shitty shit.

I’m not actually unethical. But I’m also not an accountant, nor do I want to be an accountant.

So good luck with that people who thought I could be their accountant.

People criticize me for writing off things too quickly, but I’m an unethical accountant so what do they expect from me?

@the_etrain With Susan...
Long hair...
You know...
Call me...
Do you like salmon?...
Bob died...

@the_etrain 😂 My father always sends consolidated texts with multiple subjects/emotions so you NEVER know how to respond.

My friend Asher is ridiculously funny and he just released a book of some of his cartoons and it's hilarious and I think a lot of you would really appreciate his sense of humor.

It was released in bookstores yesterday, but here's a link to order online if that's your thing:

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Well-This-Is-Me/Asher-Perlman/9781524892050

Father's Day always reminds me of the time when my husband and I went out to brunch and the server asked if we were there to celebrate Father's Day and we said we were, but that our kids were out waiting in the car.

Dentists will spend a half hour shoving pieces of sharp hard plastic in your mouth to take X-rays and then do a cleaning and be like "Looks like your gums are bleeding. You should take better care of them!"

In related news, I need to get a bite guard before I grind my teeth down into stumps, so I got a 3-D scan of my teeth and the lady doing the scan told me I have nice teeth and I said "Thanks! Your coworker just cleaned them!" because I’m an absolute weirdo so now I can never go back.

It's honestly pretty cool that they have the technology to create a 3-D scan of your teeth in less than ten minutes.

Does anybody else do that thing where you find an article of clothing that you like and then buy one in every color and/or five of the same color "just in case" or is that just me?

Most call it sexual tension, but physicists know it's actually sexual weight minus mass times acceleration.

I've been reading all about the concept of infinity and I feel like it's never going to end.

Maybe conservatives would be okay with abortion if they knew that all fetuses start out female.

When I was in high school, I REALLY wanted to take Photography but there was an additional materials fee and my parents couldn't afford it so I took Wood Shop instead.

As a result, I have a completely uneducated eye when it comes to taking photos and I'm probably breaking a lot of rules that I don't care about, but at least I can make an ugly clock out of a 2x4.

Bad photos can be found here:
@Alice@gram.social

Ugly clocks are coming soon to my Etsy shop.

It's not fair to make fun of the Cybertruck because those things are going to look cool AF when they're all crushed and stacked in a junkyard by the end of next year.

Fuck, marry, kill with Looney Tunes characters...

Tasmanian Devil
Tasmanian Devil
Tasmanian Devil

@amiserabilist @rephlex00 Yes! Give me that weird barrel chested furry ball of chaos!

It's your turn to check on the baby.