Notices by load bearing hole (killeveryhetero@jorts.horse)

@larsmb @dalias @b_rain nah dog your friends are dumb as shit sorry

i started running tootctl media remove on ... thursday

it is now monday

it is, if i did the math right... 14% complete

lol

hey it finished

it took a full three fucking weeks lmfao

now we're using ... 175GB of wasabi S3 storage on attachment! instead of ... like 7 TB before!

:blobdab:

@eris "hell yeah brother i love faygo!"

@eris "oh, you're a juggalo?"

@AnarchoNinaWrites a pull request is when i open your project and say "hey, you should add this code into here, please!"

i take your code, make some change to it, and then "request" that you "pull" my change into your official repo

so what appears to be happening is a gold rush to trick git maintainers into... blindly pulling a file onto their codebases which declares "JEFF WUZ HERE, JEFF OWNS THIS CODE"?? i can't see a scenario where someone actually just accepts the pull request, though

Introducing the new Jorts Official LLM: JOBot!

with this release we hope to,\; NO, it doesn't stand for "jack off bot", stop saying it stands for "jack off bot", first of all i cannot believe t

someone should trick an AI company into training their models on jorts dot horse can you imagine the irreversible damage we'd do to that thing

@AnarchoNinaWrites the funny website behavior was prior to the update jorts literally did not know posts could be edited, so if someone posted something and then immediately edited it, we'd never see the edit, only the V1, so we'd be replying to outdated versions of posts lmao

@AnarchoNinaWrites probably because jorts was not able to see or understand edits prior to the massive recent update

something likely caused jorts to fetch that post (some interaction? someone on jorts liking the post? could be anything) and, in the process, notice the edit

@pernia bzzt wrong fucko

@pernia this is the ideal pizza distributionary slice arrangement. you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

looks like you aren't ready for this wisdom from the great italian prophets of the past, buster. see me after class

ahahahahahahaha JOTTEM

context: i reported shit sandwich, to himself, for a giggle, with the only message saying "shit sandwich lol"

fools, charlatans, buffoons: "the perfect desk setup doesn't exist!"

meanwhile, the perfect desk setup:

piss (competitive)

@scattapilla today i am recommending a fediblock on scattapilla @ jorts dot horse, she has repeatedl-- [i trip over a trash can, crashing through the window and falling into a nearby dumpster]

@scattapilla the funniest part is that the admins bent over, silenced the guy, made an enormously long cuckpost about it, etc

they "did everything right", thereby preventing collective punishment on their own server, phew! 😌

.,,...hang on, i'm being handed a note,

i don't even read my own dms

reporting LIVE from CUBICLE HELL, i bring you the latest in office humor!!! this is some real EPIC shit, folks

EL OH EL!!!!!

⚠️ URGENT ONE-WEEK UPDATE!!!! ⚠️