@BethanyBlack Well
I hated myself into becoming a better person, and now I'm happy with who I am. That's rich from a cis white guy I know, but it's the only perspective I have to offer.
Hate is an emktion like anger, you can't repress emotions but you can watch what they do to you and react usefully to them.
I wish you didn't hate yourself because I quite like you, but hook that shit up to your cart and make it do work. <3